Things I Have Lurnded In A Weekend

Foof! I rocked David Bowie Day a little too much on Friday, the 18th day of 2008. (hee) I convinced an entire bar that it was officially David Bowie Day and the manager obliged my request and played all my Bowie cds. It was great fun and I wish you were all there. It’s nice to leave and get “Happy David Bowie Day” from 30 people you don’t even know. I wonder if they will be pissed when they find out that it’s not completely official. And by ‘completely official’ I mean outside of my own head and the select few who read VeggieM. Meh, who cares?

So this weekend I took note of a few things. Everyday is an epiphany for me.

  • I’m never going to use the term, “Doggie Bag” at a restaurant again. I’m not sure what I would be taking home.
  • If you hit someone’s house with a golf ball, they get pissed. Even though the stupid assholes bought a house right on a course where people hit hard white balls with clubs and have the accuracy of Stevy Wonder with a dart.
  • Patron tastes better with an orange slice. I can’t explain it but it does.
  • I gave blood on Saturday and the nurse(?) told me that the stick would feel like a little bee sting. If that is supposed to calm me down, why do people go bat-shit crazy when bees are around?
  • On the same topic of giving blood, when the ears start popping, you have about twenty seconds before you take an involuntary nap.
  • Smelling salts hurt the nostrils.
  • An older black woman said I was “Fly”. I don’t know what that means, but I like it.
  • David Bowie’s character in the movie Labyrinth isn’t Jarrod. His name is Jareth. Dude still has funny pants.

That’s pretty much it. My weekend was uneventful by many people’s standards. How was yours?

19 thoughts on “Things I Have Lurnded In A Weekend

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  1. I can’t tell if your serious about convincing a bar of people that it was David Bowie day or not but I don’t really care – it’s hysterical!! Good point about the bees. Though I’ve never understood why nurses/doctors started using that phrase to begin with.

  2. I’m dead serious. All you have to do is walk past them and wish them “Happy blank blank’ and they will follow. It works along the same line as a high five. People can’t leave you hanging!

  3. That’s hilarious! Wish I could have been there. That did not sound like an eventful weekend at all! Patron? Smelling salts? Sounds like a fun weekend indeed! Mine was similar… πŸ˜†

  4. My weekend was pretty unevntful. Just did some drinking on Saturday night and cleaning on Sunday.

    Whoa, you’re “fly” that’s better than being “dope” and almost as good as being “all that and a bag of chips”.

  5. I wrote about it at my place… drank too much… passed out… woke up the next morning to find a pair of women’s panties under the dining table…just the usual… πŸ˜†

  6. “when the ears start popping, you have about twenty seconds before you take an involuntary nap. ” See, that’s useful information right there. Billy, you need to take this shit put it in a book, and publish the hell out of it. I’d buy it.

  7. If a nurse told me something was going to feel like a bee sting, I’d be outta there faster than you could say “NO NOT THE BEES”.

    Also, the thing about the golf course made me laugh. Seriously, what do these people expect?

    I didn’t know anybody still said “doggie bag”. We used to say that when I was a kid, but nowadays most people just say “can I get a to-go box?”

  8. mM, Patron. Fuck the orange slice.
    i celebrated my raise this weekend by buting a new coat in SCZ.
    And then we had a barbecue at my comadre’s house… and sunday was spent acclimating my dog to his friend Bailey again, and going to the dawk park.

  9. Ha! The funniest is picturing you walking into the bar with a pile of Bowie CDs under your arm and the look the bartender must have given you…

    Very low-key weekend for me. Yard work, house work, and some quality time with the chocolates yesterday, which was nice.

    … I’m getting old.

  10. My weekend was highlighted by that oh so epic The Dark Knight (DO believe the hype πŸ˜‰ )

    And yeah, I never really got the term “Doggie Bag” either…I mean at least keep the poo-poo reference to humans, i.e.: “would you like the rest of your meal in a shit-stained infant’s diaper?”…but to de-base the term for “leftover bag” by bringing DOGS into the equation?

    Class-less restauranteurs, class-less.

  11. what the hell kind of bar do you hang out in? were your new friends there?

    i fainted giving blood once. last time i gave blood, in fact. haven’t done it since.

  12. What kind of world do you live in buddy??

    Fly means cool but in a hip way. Like a guy that is ahead of the curve in hipness. I think the black lady was humoring you or she is just as goofy as you are. Goofy goof goof. I think you should keep smelling salt on hand just in case of emergencies. The predicaments you get into you might need it sooner then you think. White guy.

  13. Ugh, I passed out when time when I had blood drawn for a test (not even the quantity needed to donate). The nurse was training somebody and talking very loudly about everything she was doing. It’s not good when your ears start ringing and your fingers tingle.

    I need to quit letting my kid play with golf balls in the house. Something or someone is going to get hurt.

  14. Hmm, that Doggie Bag sign looks familiar…
    Could it be because I used to live in Marietta and I now see the same signs (albeit they don’t say “Marietta” now) over in Roswell?

    Hey there fellow local blogger!

    Small, small world.

Speak to me, Egor.

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