I have been such a bad blogger I ought to be dragged out in the streets and floggered. Was that a stretch? Well, if it was, all I can say is that you are right. And to get back in the real swing of 2010, I need all the help I can get. So here we go! This is one of my many posts of what I know to be true.
- I watch violence on TV with much trepidation. When did this happen? I keep asking myself questions like “what is that poor guys mother going to do?”. I need to not take things so seriously.
- I don’t believe in the moon. I just think it is the back of the sun. (scrubs) I agree.
- I Tweet. Fuck. I Tweet. Three verbs and one is expressive. Take your pick.
- At almost 32, I still believe there is a chance that God can turn off the gravity at any minute. I hang out near trees.
- My iPhone sucks. I’m always connected to everything. Remember when life was simple and no one knew what anyone else was doing?
- I think I am in love with the Nurse Ratchet’s assistant from One Flew Over The Cukoo’s Nest.
- I have a cat. A cute one actually. But I travel a lot and I think getting a buddy for her would be fair. I have images of her meowing at the wall for hours out of boredom. Sometimes I leave the Animal Planet on just because I think she watches it. So I have decide to buy another kitten. Now I will be the guy who has two cats. shit.
- Sandwiches make me way too happy. I mean really, way too happy. Did a dance the other day that I call the “Turkey Pastrami Slide”. I kind of wish it was in private though.
- This commercial makes me want to scream at an elderly man. I hate eating sounds in food commercials. It’s like a Hulk reaction. I will split a shirt and steal a tricycle from a 3 year old when I see this. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
10. I get so excited for Christmas but when it gets here, I hate it. This year, Christmas will be prepped way ahead of time. No more last-minute travel or last-minute gifts. To be honest, my Amex and Visa card took a few thousand dollars worth of hits that should have been better thought out. And Delta? Fuck you too!
11. I tried it again. I am not a gin man. Actually, hard alcohol as a whole I think will end starting today. It just doesn’t do it.
12. I listen to The Cure and think of KB. I listen to… actually that is my next post.
13. I prefer the old Devil in The Simpsons to the Flander’s Devil in the newer ones.
14. I have Netfilx steaming to my TV and I gave the series Weeds a chance. It failed miserably. So miserably it made me finally realize that Kevin Nealon is an ass-hat of staggering scale and should have hard fruits thrown at him in all public venues. I envision a pineapple.
15. I had a meeting with the owner of a restaurant chain called Taco Time for work last week. I told him his chain made me laugh when I first heard the name. He, however, did not find my humor funny.
16. I want the sax to come back. The Night Court theme makes me pretty overjoyed.
17. Don’t Google Image search your own name.
19. I had a dream that I was shoplifting old Halloween candy from a dollar store and was caught. For some reason, this is really bothering me.
20. I think I will smile like this for everything. No matter how small.