Freddy Krueger Sang “Oh Danny Boy”.

So, there I was minding my own business, drinking a few beers and watching the ‘Zags with some friends when guess who showed up? Old-Man Krueger.

He’s gotten a little up there in age and his wrinkled skin really make the burns less apparent, but still, it’s nice to see him out and about. Of course right after his karaoke rendition of “Oh Danny Boy” was over, he made his way to the door. The man’s gotta work. I mean it was ten at night and people are going to bed! He obviously didn’t plan out his retirement portfolio.

Poor Fred.

I Need A List

I have been such a bad blogger I ought to be dragged out in the streets and floggered. Was that a stretch? Well, if it was, all I can say is that you are right. And to get back in the real swing of 2010, I need all the help I can get. So here we go! This is one of my many posts of what I know to be true.

  1. I watch violence on TV with much trepidation. When did this happen? I keep asking myself questions like “what is that poor guys mother going to do?”. I need to not take things so seriously.
  2. I don’t believe in the moon. I just think it is the back of the sun. (scrubs) I agree.
  3. I Tweet. Fuck. I Tweet. Three verbs and one is expressive. Take your pick.
  4. At almost 32, I still believe there is a chance that God can turn off the gravity at any minute. I hang out near trees.
  5. My iPhone sucks. I’m always connected to everything. Remember when life was simple and no one knew what anyone else was doing?
  6. I think I am in love with the Nurse Ratchet’s assistant from One Flew Over The Cukoo’s Nest.
  7. I have a cat. A cute one actually. But I travel a lot and I think getting a buddy for her would be fair. I have images of her meowing at the wall for hours out of boredom. Sometimes I leave the Animal Planet on just because I think she watches it. So I have decide to buy another kitten. Now I will be the guy who has two cats. shit.
  8. Sandwiches make me way too happy. I mean really, way too happy. Did a dance the other day that I call the “Turkey Pastrami Slide”. I kind of wish it was in private though.
  9. This commercial makes me want to scream at an elderly man. I hate eating sounds in food commercials. It’s like a Hulk reaction. I will split a shirt and steal a tricycle from a 3 year old when I see this. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

10.  I get so excited for Christmas but when it gets here, I hate it. This year, Christmas will be prepped way ahead of time. No more last-minute travel or last-minute gifts. To be honest, my Amex  and Visa card took a few thousand dollars worth of hits that should have been better thought out. And Delta? Fuck you too!

11. I tried it again. I am not a gin man. Actually, hard alcohol as a whole I think will end starting today. It just doesn’t do it.

12. I listen to The Cure and think of KB. I listen to… actually that is my next post.

13. I prefer the old Devil in The Simpsons to the Flander’s Devil in the newer ones.

14. I have Netfilx steaming to my TV and I gave the series Weeds a chance. It failed miserably. So miserably it made me finally realize that Kevin Nealon is an ass-hat of staggering scale and should have hard fruits thrown at him in all public venues. I envision a pineapple.

15. I had a meeting with the owner of a restaurant chain called Taco Time for work last week. I told him his chain made me laugh when I first heard the name. He, however, did not find my humor funny.

16. I want the sax to come back. The Night Court theme makes me pretty overjoyed.

17. Don’t Google Image search your own name.

18. Have you ever heard of the 80’s toy call “Beeoples”? Just curious.

19. I had a dream that I was shoplifting old Halloween candy from a dollar store and was caught. For some reason, this is really bothering me.

20. I think I will smile like this for everything. No matter how small.

fin

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