I’m sick. I am achy head, stuffy nose, congested chest sick. Usually I am the healthiest one around and never understood how people were so susceptible to these annoying little viruses. But not today. Today I have been kicked in the balls by a rhinovirus so hard, I am seeing stars and speaking in a high A. Just look at me yesterday afternoon driving to the hospital before school practicing my duck calls.


Healthy and happy as a horse! Little did I know that by the night I would be fighting a fever and looking like this:


Cheese and rice! I look like I just fell off the roof. Everything hurts and everything is loud. It just so happens that my neighbors upstairs have a combined weight of a 1989 Dodge Shadow so you can only imagine the creeks and groans and thuds happening right now. I swear, any minute a fat leg with a high heel is going to come crashing through the ceiling. If that happens, I’m keeping the shoe.


What are you so happy about, fucker? You are about to get sick! Turn around! Ugh….I never listen to myself.

25 thoughts on “UGH

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  1. I hear you. Hadn’t been sick in FOUR years until last week. I thought those getting the bug ought to suck it up and eat better…or something. Then I was bedridden for three days, quite literally. (now I feel very mean) Feel better billy.

  2. Stupid rhinovirus. Hang in there…and buy some Puffs with lotion. If you have a stay-home-sick card available, be wary of daytime tv. Seriously. Whoopie and friends.

    1. Right? By the way, I got in trouble by the wrong girl on the whole “pad tai texting” ordeal. Really? Like anyone I know reads this.

      By the way, why are you up so late on a school night?

  3. We live in the same apt! How did I not know this before now? We are both downstairs neighbors of the Shadows.
    In addition, mine have unfortunately lost the ability to control the volume on their radio – just in case you couldn’t hear their stomping, they thought to liven things up with some music that the entire building can enjoy. What a treat.
    I hope you feel better soon – the hospital needs those duck calls stat!

  4. I’m sick too! Sucks… Get you to a Walgreens and get some generic Mucinex and Halloween goodies. Buy that jack in the box thingie, perhaps. Your hair looks very reddish in that last picture, you secret ginger, you.

  5. I’m putting on a breathing mask just in case y’all give me the rhinocooties. I
    am in no shape to be getting sick. I’m already run ragged and can’t afford to lose a day of work.


Speak to me, Egor.

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