I’m sick. I am achy head, stuffy nose, congested chest sick. Usually I am the healthiest one around and never understood how people were so susceptible to these annoying little viruses. But not today. Today I have been kicked in the balls by a rhinovirus so hard, I am seeing stars and speaking in a high A. Just look at me yesterday afternoon driving to the hospital before school practicing my duck calls.
Healthy and happy as a horse! Little did I know that by the night I would be fighting a fever and looking like this:
Cheese and rice! I look like I just fell off the roof. Everything hurts and everything is loud. It just so happens that my neighbors upstairs have a combined weight of a 1989 Dodge Shadow so you can only imagine the creeks and groans and thuds happening right now. I swear, any minute a fat leg with a high heel is going to come crashing through the ceiling. If that happens, I’m keeping the shoe.
What are you so happy about, fucker? You are about to get sick! Turn around! Ugh….I never listen to myself.