Not On Target For Halloween

Let me begin this post just clarifying that I like Target. In fact, I might just love it. I am not afraid to admit that because where else can you go to get bananas, a shirt and a bookshelf all free from the creeps Walmart brings. I am not saying that I am too good for an occasional Walmart visit but man, I have seen shit there that will turn you white.

Another gold star for Target is their holiday selection especially around Halloween time. But this year they seem to be taking their sweet ass time in displaying the usual goods. If you are anything like me, I want what I want when I want it. And after August, I want to see skulls and orange colored frilly things. But up until now they just kept their “back to school” items out and for a 31 year old going on 11, that makes me want to peel my own cap. Look at my “secret photo” at the work in progress from yesterday.

targetSorry for the quality. I was pretending to dial a number behind my head. Actually, I am just not that slick of a person but at least we can sort of make out the lack of decor and that something is on sale for $5.29.

target2It looks like Target is sticking with their Halloween mascot Domo, the internet phenomenon that has been pictured chasing kittens in an attempt to kill and eat them. I am actually being serious about that and as a new kitten owner, I don’t like Domo. Apparently the concept has spread to other monsters too. Who has two thumbs and doesn’t give a shit? This guy!

target3I think the instructions read “Remove safety clip from spoon, twist and pull pin, release spoon and throw hard”. Actually those are instructions on how to properly deploy a live hand grenade but man, that would come in handy in this aisle. I stood there reminiscing the days when Target really did Halloween right. Now we are left with a different kind of scary.

jonesRecognize these? If you love novelty Jones soda as much as I do then the correct answer is yes because they are the exact same as last year. Poop in pants! That completely sucks and how uncreative is Jones Soda Co for not at least renaming them or putting out new cans?! Every year one of the anticipations is what Jones Soda is going to come up with. This year just kind of craps. But I will review them anyway. 😉 It just will not be done as well as DJ D.  Just can’t be.

I think I have bitched enough. Tonight I will go back since I am staying with a friend in Spokane and I have access to one. If I am still disappointed I will bring it up with management to confirm that they don’t care and add to those who think I am joke worthy when I leave.

Okay, maybe that is pretty cute.

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