It’s almost five o’clock on a Sunday night and I am knee-deep in work for a Monday morning meeting. While I want to write about funny thoughts on candy corn and zombie-retail-hilarity, I must persevere with what pays the bills. So wait right here.

Okay, I am done. Believe it or not that space between this paragraph and the one above took about three hours to cross. Doesn’t look that far, huh? Now where was I?

Oh yeah. I have had football on all day while I responded to emails and wrote budget plans, I have come to a conclusion: Keith Olbermann makes me want to hurt puppies. I fucking hate that guy. Why must something as glorious as the NFL be covered by such a smug, ugly, dick of a guy? All politics aside, his mean spirited humor and snide comments makes me seriously through around the “C” word as if I was saying “and” or “the”. Piss on him. Just his voice causes me to bend spoons with mind-hate.

Whew! Had to get that one out and thanks for listening. The cat gave up and left hours ago. What I really wanted to write about is…I don’t know. Hold on, it’s coming to me.

Went to a corn maze this weekend! Yeah, I am a sucker for those. It was a beautiful day and everything about Fall was present. They had cider, pumpkins, squash, Halloween decor and of course corn. Lots of corn. The only thing they were missing were the people.

Stephen King really had something with his “spooky + corn = win” idea. Even though it was 4 in the afternoon and daylight, being alone in corn makes your senses really spin. You can hear the wind blowing above but to your left and right; nothing. Every so often your mind plays tricks and you hear conversations. Like I said I was alone in the maze that was 3 miles long. Talk about sensory deprivation!

I finally made it through, even if I did cheat by cutting through the rows. It turns out that corn kind of itches! No longer do I have aspirations to be a corn farmer, making alien shapes in it at night. This stuff kind of sucks. And scary.

See? Corn belongs in a can or popped. Not ten feet tall or in the movies.

In other news, I have been accepted to be a staff member over at the infamous “Review The World” website. I can not begin to tell you how excited I am about this because I have been a fan for many years. Brian does an amazing job keeping a positive, fun and informative review site and in this age of Internet abuse, that can be a real tough job. But, he has prevailed and it is a fun site to peruse if you have not already done so. I am a fan of the review videos and random road adventures. Remember folks, it’s the little things and they should be celebrated.