Baron Mind, This Is A Random Post

Every so often I come across something on the Internet so brilliant, I just can’t keep it to myself. I feel like I have to share it with my friends (you are my friends, right?) because I know they will like as much as I do. And if they don’t, I’ll storm out and kick the cat. Well, I’ll give it the finger at least.

So what is this awesome of awesomeness I speak of? Why it is none other than the nemesis of all civil minded people, the great Baron Mind.

n16501269_32274658_5694Created by a very funny guy over at Revelation XIII, the character Baron Mind, played and written by Mike Revenaugh and filmed/edited by Kyle Camping, is on his way to become an international web-sensation. And finally, long over do, he is up for an award. The Horrible Awards from Dr. Horrible of the Evil League of Evil, has nominated Mike’s character for the ‘So They Say Award’ for the best non-musical video for the Evil League of Evil. So pop over to here and scroll down to the best non-musical video for the ELE and vote for Baron Mind. It takes literally 23 seconds. Watch the great Baron Mind and check out Mike over at Rev XIII.

In other news, I found out something. Did you know instant coffee has 120 cups compared to the brewing coffee that only has 90 cups for less money? Why didn’t anybody tell me this? Sure, you have to sacrifice some taste but like the great Crocodile Dundee said, “You can live on it, but it tastes like shit”. You know Mick? I can live on this and damn it, I kind of like it. The smell of instant Folgers reminds me of my Grandmother’s house in Pennsylvania. You want me to take you on a tour? The correct answer is yes.

dscn0110My whole life I have moved at least every few years but this house you see above has remained a constant when I was growing up. I was here as an infant, every Christmas was spent here, more Nerf boomerangs have been eaten by the roof and more light saber battles have been waged in this backyard than Lucas could ever imagine. It’s hard to believe that there are over 30 years of personal memories here.

dscn0092To get in the house we will go around back to the covered porch. The only people who come through the front door are deliveries and company. You’re with me so we will go this way. See that cooler over there? It’s always full of beer. There is nothing better than sitting on the porch with the space heater blaring, drinking Yeungling and reading my Grandmothers Parade magazine. I’m not joking. Just looking at this picture I smell the stale cigarette smoke and electric heating coils. *sniffffff……ahhhhhhhh*

dscn0091From the back porch we get to the kitchen. This is where my love for instant coffee was forged. But this picture is bitter sweet because as I look at the chairs my mind drifts to the days when I was forced to finish my cooked carrots, no matter how long it took. You see, my grandparents grew up during the depression and not finishing your food was as insulting as telling them the Pope is a bag of dicks. So I would sit there and endure a child’s equivalent to water boarding as I would choke down cooked carrots, dry heaving and tearing. I do, however, have a great memory of my Uncle Mark coming to my rescue and scarfing down my carrots when my Grandmother left the room, giving me a wink and a shush finger as he headed out for his night on the town. I love that guy.

dscn0090Leaving the kitchen we come to the dining room. It’s funny, but this room elicits a little bit of anger from me and it comes from a silly pet peeve. I hate eating in a quiet place and listening to eating noises. This side of the family eats….well…like a G-damn horse. They never have the TV on so all yo hear is crunching, smacking and nose-whistling. I always show up to the table with two forks; one to eat with and one to stab into my leg out of anger.

dscn0089The living room! This is where we gather to watch TV and I swear, the local news is on at least half the time. To this day, coming home to Grandma’s is not official until I hear the channel 6 theme song, “Move Close To Your World”. Still makes me smile. I have so many memories in this room like playing with a Hasbro X-Wing fighter, using the Persian rug as the perfect play mat and ruining a vacuum with a missing Micro machine. But, now that I am older this is where my Dad and I have a book read-off because there isn’t shit to do. This past holiday I won with four books. But it back fired on me and I was robbed a few million brain cells after reading Bill O’Reiley’s book, Culture Warrior. I get his points but damn, that guy really talks down to people.

dscn0105My Grandfather passed away a few years ago. Every time I am alone in this house I tend to stare at the old pictures and remember him. He really was the product of the greatest generation. He served in the Navy in WW2, came home, started right to work at GE making rotatory rocket engines for ICBMs, got married and had kids. I constantly think about his work ethic. Every year he worked like a dog to provide for the family and only had the one week vacation at the shore to look forward to. He never complained though and he never quit to find greener pastures. He was tough, selfless and had a heart the size of Gibraltar. But cancer came and took him from us in 2003. God I do miss him.

dscn01031We are now upstairs. You are looking at the only bathroom in the house. If you look closely at the frame on the right you will notice that it has a slight curve to it. When the weather changes the wood swells and this leads to the door sticking. I can not take a shower without locking the door so that means the door has to be flush with the frame. So, I spend 15 to 20 minutes in the bathroom and 30 minutes prying the door open. Two years ago I pulled the knob straight off.

dscn0104We are going to skip the other two rooms up here and go right to Uncle Mark’s room. This is where I usually sleep when I visit. Notice the folded cot on the right? Yeah, sleeping in here is a challenge to say the least. I try to beat Uncle Mark to bed because if he falls asleep first, it’s like sleeping in the trombone section of an orchestra. There is nothing worse, besides eating sounds, than trying to fall asleep over super sonic snoring and four-note sleep farts. Try to find your happy place during that!

dscn0088GAAAA! Don’t forget who sleeps in the next room.

dscn0093Now we are in the basement and this is the best room in the house. My Uncle Mark has occupied the basement ever since I could form memories. This was the place where I spent most of my time and I know that was a little selfish because I should have spent more time hanging out with my elderly great aunts and eating their blue mints. But seriously though, how could a kid resist cable TV, a bag full of candy next to the recliner, a computer with Duke Nuke ‘Em, and every cool gadget known to man. I mean, I didn’t grow up with cable so HBO and old school Nickelodeon was something you had to take advantage of. I swear I saw the movie The Explores and the show Pinwheel more times than necessary on these AstroTurf-covered recliners. If you clicked on Pinwheel I am sorry, but you will have that in your head for the next 12 years. My gift is your curse. Here are some quirky things around the basement.

dscn0100The hat collection. This is actually willed to me. I’d like to say I can’t wait but that means somebody has to die. I’ll wait for the hat collect.

dscn0099Here we are! The vacation fund and it’s full….of dimes…..and there is a lock on it. dscn0098Uncle Mark’s ex-girlfriend was a graphic artist an she designed screen savers. This is one of them. I really hope this was the reason he dumped her because, WTF?!?!

Well, now you have had the tour. Very few people have seen the place that I call home away from home. I hope you enjoyed it.

Here is a survey question: I stayed at my Aunt’s house while I was in town and slept in my cousin’s room while she was away for college. If you weren’t paying attention, in the picture below, what would you brush your teeth with? I hope I am not the only one picked wrong.

dscn0111I’ll post my failed pick tomorrow.

EDIT: If you picked this, we have something in common. That stuff really doesn’t taste as good as one would think. Actually, it was the worst thing I have ever put in my mouth. Ha Ha…I know where you are going to go with that Ginny.

17 thoughts on “Baron Mind, This Is A Random Post

Add yours

  1. Thanks, Will!

    I’m glad you enjoyed the video and hope all your readers will feel the same way, and pass our video along like some sort of pay-it-forward thing, except without the burned-face Kevin Spacey.

    Oh yeah, just to clarify things and give credit where it’s due, Baron Mind is the efforts of two people, myself (Mike Revenaugh) and Kyle Camping.

    I write and act the Baron, as well as maintain the revelationxiii blog. Kyle does all the hard stuff: directing, shooting and editing our work. He’s also founded Campsite Studios, where you can see more of his projects (

    Thanks again for the support, and if there’s anything I can do to repay you for it, let me know.

    – Rev

    Sorry Mike! I got it mixed up but I fixed it. Thanks again for the entertainment. I hope we can push the Baron over the top. I have amazing readers.

  2. “There is nothing worse, besides eating sounds, than trying to fall asleep over super sonic snoring and four-note sleep farts. Try to find your happy place during that! ”

    That made me laugh so hard… I don’t know why! I’m still giggly.

    I share your pet peeve!!! grrrrr! My kid’s get the evil eye if I hear or see their chewed food!!! I know I’m so mean! I wish I could do that with adults. The TV or stereo does help though.

    What great memories you have! That’s a blessing! And sorry about your grandfather… my grandmother died in 2000… I still miss her terribly.

  3. I totally picked the curl amplifier. Crap. Well, at least I’m not the only one.

    That house looks super cozy. I agree with the chewing the food thing too. It is pretty obnoxious, and I have to have some kind of sound while I’m having dinner. I’m usually plopped down in front of the TV at the time.

    I’ve been drinking instant coffee for a while and I like it! Not quite as good as the real thing but it’s not bad…and I think you’re right. You can get a lot more cups out of it.

    Oh, I thought about you last night. I got talked into singing AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” at karaoke. I wasn’t really in the mood, but the guy that runs karaoke kept putting shots in my hand so I ended up with a dose of liquid courage.

  4. I really wish you would bring your Uncle Mark on a tour across the country, because I think he is freakin awesome. He’s like the big brother that never grew up. He reminds my of my ex-boyfriend’s big brother. Practices transcendental meditation and plays video games and bought all the kids pinatas for Christmas. He was on Battle-bots once too. Mad genius, I tell ya.

    And sorry dear, but I saw the curl cream too. I’ve got the same one sitting on the counter in my bathroom. It’s empty but I’m so damn cheap I’m gonna take it apart and get the last chunks out sometime soon.

  5. Random responses:
    *I know Mick.
    *I hate eating noises too.
    *I hate snoring noises even worse. Meet my new best friend, the ear plug, discovered after my first rock concert last year.
    *That doll scares the bajeezus out of me.

  6. Awww, I love your grandma’s house! It reminds me of mine – mine’s? (My Grandma’s house.) I would have picked that “toothpaste” as well. That was funny.

  7. I felt the same way moving into my grandmother’s house; some places just seem stuck in a certain time and place….

    and Pinwheel was the shiznit….

  8. You didn’t tell us which one was the toothpaste! None of them look like toothpaste.

    I have a video I took during my visit to my Grandparent’s house of my old bedroom. I really want to show you guys that you would get a big kick out of it. I need to do voice over on it before I upload it. Most of it is the same. I also have cassette tapes I recorded my voice on with my sister and I when I was 10 and she was 13 and also with my best friend at the time that I really cherish that I want to record and put to video onto youtube. Anyway my old bedroom is like a shrine to my youth and teenage years. My aunt keeps on threatening to shove everything into boxes and fed ex it to me and she doesn’t realize how much she hurts me with her words. She just wants to do that to shove another bed in there for when people sleep there twice a year (thanksgiving and christmas) and I don’t think that is a good enough reason. At least I have my video for now. And a fairly big box sitting beside me of schoolwork, artwork, and pictures. That was the most important stuff.

    I think the basement is a lot of people’s hangout places. The basement that was in my Grandparent’s house is where people hung out. They had the record player/ radio wooden entertainment center downstairs. It never played records but the radio was played and there was a pool table. So the people that were old enough to be fearful enough to not be rough with the pool table could play. The others would watch. It’s going to be a pain in the ass to get it up the stairs again but I think it will be worth it. Eh, I think my aunts when it comes down to selling the house they will try really hard to sell it with the house rather then taking it and selling it separately.

    The basement has awesome red velvet wallpaper. And a dark brown sectional couch. For some reason it also has a sink built into a deep red counter w/ dark brown cabinets filled with yarn and old seasonal stuff like old Halloween costumes. There is a matching closet w/ the water tank in it and Christmas stuff.
    The basement wasn’t remodeled when I was in 6th and 7th grade. Everything else looks updated. New tiles in the kitchen and linoleum, new wallpaper, new fridge and other appliances etc. All white and modern patterns. Also white carpet in both the living room and the family room and new furniture. 2 out of 3 bathrooms, my old bedroom, the basement, and my Grandparent’s bedroom is the same.

    My Grandparent’s house is kind of like this house is to you but the difference is I grew up in that house. People they tell me oh wow your Grandparent’s raised you? You must of been spoiled so much and it was so fun. It actually wasn’t. I mean I had good times there but it wasn’t all good. Most of the good times I had was when we had company over. That reminds me. When you said people only went through the back, everybody always went through the side door and not the front door. It was always closer to where everybody sat anyway. But my favorite memories were when my cousins came to visit or it was some sort of family get together. If it wasn’t a holiday or someone’s birthday we just sat around watching tv or played video games or something.

    I know my cousin’s felt how you feel about your Grandparent’s house though about mine. They ate ice cream every night as long as it was stocked (they came over and stayed the night on Saturdays a lot of the time) and we played video games, watched tv, and went outside to play games all day and night long. The one girl out of 4 kids told me two years ago that was the best out of her whole childhood and that made me feel so good. She’s 20 but I look at her like I am her mom in some ways. I have always felt like it was my job to take care of her.

  9. This was a really nice post. Makes me miss my great aunt (I called her Grandmama), and makes me wish that my actual grandparents had been closer to me.

  10. Oh noooooo…I thought I would never have to look at that doll again!! Why’d you do that to me Will?!??! WHY???….sigh…back to therapy….

  11. Oh.

    PINWHEEL. I absolutely LOVED that show, but it freaked me the f*ck out! That grumpy green guy, and believe it or not that Mole lady in the window! Crazy that you posted this! Not many people remember what I’m talking about when I mention Pinwheel.

    And the ‘Move Closer to Your World’ song! “See a little bit of ttiiiiiiiiiiiiime!” Oh my gosh that brings me right back to New Jersey! How dramatic is that song for a news program?

    You had me cracking up reading through this post, talk about nostalgia!!

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