It’s A Mad Mad Mad Monster Party: Part 1


Have you ever been to an event or party where you say to yourself, “Self, this is where I belong. These are my people”? Well, recently VeggieMacabre (me) attended the Mad Monster Party which is a horror event to end all horror events. I am still on a high from the whole experience but don’t feel bad if you missed it, I recorded every minute of the three solid fright-filled days of gory glory.

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I go to conventions often. It seems like every month there is some sort of gathering with a common interest in mind. But usually the conventions I go to are about medical technology or some sort of terrible thing and the countdown to escape for a bar begins the second the plane lands. Actually, when you say the word “convention” I involuntarily punch the person to my left. Most people have learned to keep right on Monday morning meetings.

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Not this type of convention, my friends! It’s hard to be bored when you are eating wings at a bar between a ghostbuster and Jake the Snake Roberts (the real Jake the Snake too). While this isn’t much of an intro to this two-part article, I should really just jump right in.

The hotel was exactly what I expected it to be; completely designed for trade shows and not for vacation. It wasn’t bad but it certainly had a bit to be desired. The biggest issue was that the restaurant sucked and if you wanted to expand away from the mandatory buffet, you had to leave the party and there was no place in walking distant. Needless to say, I had a lot of beer and little food, making conversations with horror celebrities that much more ridiculous. Speaking of celebrities, first up is one of my favorites, Dave Naughton!

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Great cats, what an awesome guy! He was the first guy I met there and since I paid hundreds of dollars and the tip of my fingers for an all exclusive pass (one hour entrance before general admission and a VIP room) it was just him and just a few other stars that were totally set up and ready for nerds like me. Of course I swooned over American Werewolf In London being my favorite movies and he recalled how many hours it took in makeup for one of the greatest “wolf-out” scenes ever put on film. And it was then I noticed on his table of head-shots and movie scenes ready to be autographed I saw his old Dr Pepper ad.

“Holy Dickless Steven, I completely forgot about this commercial!” I will say, in hindsight, I wish I had said a different exclamation. He didn’t bat an eye, but laughed and asked if I was a pepper. When David Naughton asks if you are a Pepper, YOU SAY YES!

And so it is, I am a Pepper. And David Naughton is a great guy. He does, however, seem a bit out-of-place at the Mad Monster Party. Instead he looks like he should be at an engineering convention or something. I saw him later that evening browsing the buffet with the same “meh” face I made. These sort of things must wear on a guy.

That was a really exciting start to the weekend but what came about ten minutes before meeting him was just as memorable. I will admit, I was trying to take a picture of David wrestle with his backdrop poster and while looking down at my phone to switch to the camera, I turned sharp to my left and ran smack into Danny Glover. He’s old, cranky and smells like anger which was worn on the side of my face and shirt for the rest of the day. He didn’t really say anything but his publicist looked like she was going to cry. Of course I apologized and disappeared before someone could throw me out for injuring Murdock and I am sure he soon forgot the event. In fact, friends of mine who met him later that day said he forgot about being in Predator 2 even though his costar, Gary Busey, was at the next table. Busey probably forgot too.

Up next was a trip down the hall where they had an entire display from the movie Jaws. It was an impressive collection to say the least from the iconic yellow barrels to the actual mask Cooper wore that “didn’t have enough spit”. The guy who is the collector charged $5 for photos which I thought was fair. He didn’t say couldn’t edit the picture later and make Mexican Jaws 3D!

This guy is awesome! Ormon Grimsby is an unbelievable horror host from a cable access channel out of Raleigh, NC. I honestly had no idea people where still hosting shows like this but looking at his website, there are quiet a few throughout these great states. Nothing would make me happier than to cruise the channels on a late friday night, bummed from the same old programming, only to find Ormon Grimsby in his chamber hosting The Giant Gila Monster (redux). But that’s why we have the worldwide web.

Ormon is a hell of a nice guy with a great sense of style. Go check him out and his show, Monster Creature Feature, at MCFTV.com. It’s a blast.

If you noticed I have changed shirts you passed the test. I have no clue which day was which other than the first few hours.

The free little museum walk-throughs were unreal. I would kill to have a garage full of these statues with an ever-revolving tour and at the end everyone is invited to a BBQ. Oh, and one out of the statues is a real person and would follow behind the tour and take drink orders to everyone’s shock.

And if there is a severed head around, you just know I will defile it! The people who ran the exhibit where guessing how many more people will do the same thing and probably worse as the night progresses.

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Oh my love. Such an amazing woman and oddly enough I have recently written about her and had no idea that soon we would be in an embrace. The lovely Linnea Quigley or how I like to know as “Trash”. Oh goodness, I ended up confessing my entire boyhood fantasies from all of her B-movie boob-filled sexy slasher flicks and how amazing she is all in a few seconds of spits and sentence fragments. She just got up and hugged me. Even better, she winked at me throughout the whole weekend. She probably did that to everyone but I will tell myself it was just for me.

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A few hours later I saw her at the bar with this guy. Not sure who he is but I will say he nearly ran over me when he got Peter Chris’s autograph on his wrist and was going to get it tattooed. Somewhere. I don’t think there was a studio there so the imagination is still wondering. He also was air-drumming violently while eating mac and cheese later that weekend too. God, I really hope he is famous because he seems too good to be true.

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Ah, the exclusive VIP lounge where the celebrities mix with the pee-ons. I really did expect more. Not sure what more but something more. I honestly didn’t hangout here too long other than to play the Diehard arcade game in the corner.

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But it all wasn’t such a loss. Here we have Tyler Mane from Devils Rejects, Halloween I and II and X-Men. Signing autographs and answering questions like “what it is like to be Rob Zombie’s Michael Meyers” can make a man thirsty. Coffee time! I shared an elevator ride with him that took forever later that night. We had some laughs and I have pictures. You’ll see.

We have the BIG article coming tomorrow. It will have my little piss match with Gary Busey, my buddies and I rocking the night away with Brent from Mastodon, getting seriously choked by Jason (Kane Hodder), taking the wonderful woman from Demons 1 and 2 out for dinner, DJ D singing karaoke, and an awesome time after the show with remaining horror icons as I drive a couple of them to a local freakshow and then lose them downtown only for them to call me at 4am for a ride back. This was a wild weekend. It deserves a couple posts.

 

 

2 thoughts on “It’s A Mad Mad Mad Monster Party: Part 1

  1. Awesome, man! So unreal to that the very same weekend there was a MASSIVE horror con about 15 min. from my house inc. John Carpenter, about a dozen members of the Walking Dead cast, Tom Savini, etc. Great read, bud, stoked for the sequel!

  2. Some day, I want to do something so great and important that I am invited to be a panelist at a convention for people who are interested in the kind of thing I’m great and important at.

    This looks like fun, Willbill, even though I have no idea who any of those people are.

Speak to me, Egor.

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