You know what? I have not done a post like this in some time. I guess I forgot my roots or maybe it’s the fact that Matt from X-E hasn’t updated his site very much. Or at all. I will save that heartache for another day. But for now, someone has to pick up the flag and charge it ahead screaming, “I want people to read my opinions over shit that makes no difference!”. So today as I sit in my office, taking an earned brake from the stresses that stress others but not me, I will write about….movie themes that are scarier than the movie.
- “Laurie’s Theme” from the movie Halloween:
I love this theme in the movie Halloween. It had a way of creeping you out in sense that even though it was day, there was a sense of impending doom after nightfall. Well, that’s how I felt when I saw it on Channel 46, mid-October, one Saturday afternoon many years ago. Since then this little piano tune that John Carpenter created has brought many memories of hayride smells, cider, pumpkins and latex masks. The entire mood of autumn is in these few notes. That and the intro to The Great Pumpkin.
2. The Shining
I think I am in the majority that claims the movie The Shining was not as terrifying in the way it has been portrayed. You can ask almost anyone that hates horror movies and they will tell you The Shining is the exception. And it’s the exception because it is smart and tolerable to many cinematric-snobbies. (made both those words up)
The musical score, however, is bone chilling. Perhaps it is the foreboding, heavy brass that paints this picture that a small nuclear family is going face to face with a giant in the form of isolation, impassable roads, unlivable temperatures and a hotel with dark secrets. Or maybe it’s just the damn creepy wailing between the brakes in music. Regardless, it is hard to listen to alone at night and as far as I am concerned, way creepier than the film itself.
3. JAWS
Ok, I have an artistic license to contradict myself here and say that in this case, the music is not a scary as the movie was. But still, I think John Williams deserves an honorable mention for trying because no matter where I am; pool, lake, ocean, tub, sprinkler; this score is playing in my head.This has always been a theme for something or someone that is inevitably about to be devoured. Whether it is shark vs. man, lion vs. zebra, or me vs. broccoli, I owe John Williams kudos for giving predators the ultimate theme song.
And it’s PG?!?!?! We were a lot tougher back in the day, huh?
4. Amittyville Horror
The more I watch this movie the more I realize that this could have been made to be far more frightening. They tried to remake it a few years ago but I won’t even try to trash it because it’s not worth the efforts of my fingers. That being said I will give a standing ovation supported by a golf clap for the theme music. Very disturbing and like the theme to Steven Spielberg’s (Tobe Hooper, really) Poltergeist, kids singing “laa laa laa” is always unnerving. Especially when you have an overactive imagination like mine and you assume those are dead kids singing from your backyard at night.
By the way, the sequel is way more scary. It has possession, Catholic guilt, evil, incest, family violence and murder all wrapped into one hour and forty five minutes. Hooray for boobies. I don’t know…
Well, this was short and sweet but I felt that I needed to get something up and keep it in theme to what I love: all nonsense. And how annoying is it that YouTube redirects you to YouTube when you want to watch a video? Why can’t everything be how I want it?
Oh! And now I am in Moscow. Moscow, Idaho that is. Look it up because it might be the source for more “ripping on Idaho” posts. So far I like it a hell of a lot more that where I was but the other night I was almost accosted by interpretive dancers. No shit.
It’s the Frog brothers from the movie Lost boys! Actually it is Jamie Newlander and Corey Feldman. We all know how Corey is doing so we can skip that half-stack and move on to Jamie; the real lost boy. It’s funny to watch this movie and see those two act as “tough vampire killers” brandishing stakes and talking in ridiculously low voices.
TWWWOOO WEEEEEKKKSSS! Man, did this part of Total Recall blow my mind. And to be honest, really disturbed me. Priscilla Allen, (seen above) hit a home run in her freak out role as the malfunctioning costume that went haywire on Arnold. I suppose it’s just my weird thing with seizures.
This sucks. Priscilla left us back last year after a long fight with cancer. I hate learning this while writing these but I guess that’s how we find out. As a native Sad Diego gal she really spent most of her life there as a drama student turned teacher. She had a few roles including Total Recall, The Naked Truth, Let Others Suffer and above all else a couple episodes of “Happy Days”. She mainly taught and did live performances. I am sorry that we lost you Priscilla. I am also sorry you were cast as the “fat lady” in Total Recall. But I will never think of a fortnight the same.
“Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. Good day, Madam.”
Man, Suzanna Shepherd has made a great career at being the grumpy grandma. I think her role in Good Fellas stuck with me and maybe it’s just that she reminded me so much of my own Grandmother on my Mom’s side. You know the type…(love you Grandma!) Anywho, she has been around town and has done amazing work. She is not the most obscure actress on the “where did you go” thing I have been doing but I just haven’t seen her around. Actually, I kind of thought she was chilling with Priscilla.
Enter Taran Noah Smith: the youngest of the Taylor family in the hit 90’s comedy, Home Improvement. Back in the day, Taran, who played the character Mark Taylor, was the cute little brother that fell pray to his mischievous older brothers. He was kind of the naive child that lived under the protection of Jill and try as he may, Tim couldn’t make him tough. But as the years progressed, Mark morphed from an innocent cute kid to a gangly goth goof. And really, in real life Taran did the same thing. My how life can imitate art.
Well, Taran’s career after Home Improvent never really florished. He married a woman 16 years his senior, sued his parents for his trust fund and started his own Vegan/Organic restruant called Playfood in California. Sadly he divorced and his home has been foreclosed and I believe Playfood went tits up. Oh yeah, I read he returned home to his parents house. Ouch. Good luck, Taran!
I think Rob Zombie said it best when he commented on the actors in the 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. “Are these actors or did Tobe Hooper hire crazy people for this film? Man, these crazy people sure can act.”
Edwin has had a pretty long career after TCM. He did JFK with Oliver Stone and My Boyfriend’s Back. Most of his success as of late has come from his voiceovers to foriegn animation films and even Japanese pheonomenon action shows like the Power Rangers. Who knew, you know?
That’s Xur. He escaped in the movie The Last Starfighter. He set up a sequal and they never came through. Fuck that and fuck Xur. I am so bitter about that let down I could care less who the guy played Xur is. So that’s that. Stay tuned for part 11. I’ll get to it.
Casserole of Disaster 