Where Did You Go? Part 6

I guess it is time for another installment of “Where Did They Go” so I can have an excuse to cruise the world of IMDB and Wikipedia searching for those random few who rarely get the spotlight anymore. It’s part curiosity and part obsessiveness because I don’t want them to be forgotten. I have always been the one to remember the supporting cast or the scene that no one cares about. Really, that’s pretty much the whole theme of this blog; the odd and random that people don’t or shouldn’t think about. And we’re off….

“But i didn’t know you were going to be giving me electric shwocks!”

Steve Tash was the poor student who fell prey to Bill Murray’s experiment on ESP for five bucks and 80 volts. Actually if I’m not mistaken he told Venkman we could keep the five bucks. Regardless, he gets and A + when for the gum being shocked out of his mouth. Besides Ghostbusters, Steve was in a few movies like Stephen King’s/ John Carpenter’s Christine, Beach Balls and Snowballing. (I don’t think I want to know what “snowballing” means.) I am pretty sure you can find Beach Balls and Snowballingon Showtime around 3am. He has even been in a couple episodes of Diff’rent Strokes as the character “Weasle”. But other than that it looks like Steve’s career in acting came to an end. Poor guy didn’t even get a name in Ghostbusters. He was named “male student” in the credits.

I have no idea what happened to Steven Tash after 1988. I mean, he didn’t even get a guest star spot on Murder She Wrote! It seems every actor around that time at least had some part in that show. I don’t even know if this guy is still above ground. Literally! He might be dead. Ghostbusters was 24 years ago and he has to be at least 44. I’m just saying, heart disease is a bitch. So, Steve, if you are still kicking, let us know.

Oh man, it’s Thunder, Lightning and Rain from the movie, Big Trouble In Little China! That movie has always been a favorite of mine and oddly enough it has come up in conversation more than once this week. So that got me wondering what ever happened to these three mystical beings.

I am going to start with “Rain” played by Peter Kwong. He was the sword swinging, long haired bad guy that weirdly enough, didn’t have a Chinese accent. I always think of the battle between him and Wang (Dennis Dun) and that strange moment when Rain was caught looking at Wang’s, uh, wang I guess. Wang responded with an exaggerated eyebrow raise. Check it out the next time you see the movie. I’m not making that up.

Peter has been in a shit load of TV episodes prior and after BTILC (Had to abriviate. That’s such a long movie title.) to include “MaGyver”, “Miami Vice”, “227”, “Tour of Duty”, “Dynasty”, “The A-Team”, “Manimal”, “Amazing Stories”, “Full House”, and on and on and on…. As far as film he was in The Golden Child and others but maybe they were SciFi TV movies. You know the ones like Gator Man or Tyrano Dog. Regardless of what movies he did, Peter Kwong is still cranking out TV show appearences today. He resides in LA and it looks like he is doing better than ever. He teaches Tai Chi at a 24 hour Balley’s gym and serves as Governer of the Preformers Peer Group at the Acadamy of TV, Arts and Sciences. Good job Pete and thank you.

It’s Lightning! This guy was my favorite and I am still unsure how they killed him off in BTILC. The guy who played him is James Pax who, like Peter Kwong, has a few appearances in a lot of well known TV shows like “MaGyver”, “Nash Bridges”, “Tour Of Duty”, “Matlock” and “Scarecrow And Mrs. King”. Makes you wonder if they have the same agent?

Man, James Pax has been a busy man. He was born in Japan, lived in Italy, educated at New York University in International Business, became a professional ballet dancer and master of Kung Fu, sang in South America, was a model in Milan, was on Broadway and currently resides in China working on the Chinese version of “Sex In The City” called “I Just Really Want To Fall in Love”. I guess “Sex In The City” doesn’t translate too well. It’s like the word pool. In China it’s called a “swimming gym”. So anyway, his life just wore out my fingers. Fucking over achiever.

And finally we have Thunder. I didn’t really understand his specialty besides blowing himself up. If that is his power then I thing Lo Pan really fucked up his choice of body guards. I must admit that his few lines were ones to remember. “I con hep yuuu.” Classic!

Carter Wong is a real bad ass in life. BTILC was one of only a couple movies he did in America. Before that he was in real Kung Fu movies to include a few staring roles with the late, great Bruce Lee. He even taught martial arts at the Royal Hong Kong police department. Now that is a dude who can kick your ass six ways to Sunday. I hope Kurt Russel was nice to him. By the way, how many people named Carter come from China? I’m just saying.

“My name is Horace!” Actually it was Brent Chalem who played the tubby kid that was the weenie Monster Squad memeber. But I had to give him props for kicking the Wolfman in the nards. Yes Horace, Wolfmen do have nards.

I found this out from our beloved Mystie who wrote one of the best reviews for the movie Monster Squad that I have ever read. It’s true, Horace is dead. Brent died in 1997 at the age of 22 from Pnemonia in Las Vegas, Nevada. I still can’t believe it. He was working as a legal assistant for a law firm at the time. I guess his career never took off even though he did appear in “Punky Brewster”, “Quantum Leap” and “Mr. Belvedere”. We even have the same birthday too. I’m sorry Brent. We hardly even knew you.

Streaks on the china,
never mattered before,
who cares.When you dropped kicked your jacket
As you came through the door,
No one glared.

But sometimes things get turned around
And no one’s spared.

All hands look out below T
here’s a change in the status quo.
Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival
Life is more than mere survival
We just might live the good life yet.

He sure did live the good life but Mr. Belvedere is dead too. Poor Christopher Hewett died in 2001 from complications with his diabetes in Los Angeles but before he checked out he left us with years of wonderful work to remind us of his talents. He had been acting from the fifties until his death and was in a number of plays and TV shows to include ‘Murder She Wrote” (shocking), “E/R”, “Fantasy Island” and of course the immortal “Mr. Belvedere”. The funny thing is he was really only cast as the “English proper” or “Butler servant”. He wasn’t complaining though. I remember Mr. Belvedere being as big as Alf back in the day.

It’s Tiffany Brissette from the show “Small Wonder”! There aren’t many people who remember this show when I bring it up but if they saw this picture I am sure it would jog the memory. I always feel silly when I describe it. “You know, it’s about this guy who builds a robot named V.I.C.K.I. and everyone treats her like a member of the family. And one time she smoked pot on the show and blew a fuse and acted strange. And another time she fell in the pool and blew a fuse and acted strange. And they had this red headed girl named Harriet and she sucked. Ring a bell? Huh? Huh?……huh.”

I’m not too proud to admit that I had a huge crush on Tiffany Brissette as a kid. I thought she hung the moon and this may sound strange, but when “Small Wonder” was on TV I refused to watch in in my pajamas. I can’t quite explain why but I had to be in my favorite themed sweater and corduroys. I guess I thought there was a chance she could see me through the TV. I was a weird kid.

All though Tiffany was in a lot of TV shows in the 1980’s and early ’90’s like “Webster”, “Teen Win Lose Or Draw”, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” and even the post Return Of The Jedi TV show “The Ewok Adventure”, she left Hollywood and never returned. After getting her degree at Westmont College in California she dedicated her life to helping children and teens as a counselor. She also is a marathon runner and rides horses during her free time. Man, I think I still have a crush on her. It would be nice to see her back on the TV again. Hopefully now I can watch without the need to put on a sweater with a bear on it.

Well, part 6 is done. That’s all I have for now and I can cross off these few from the list that grows exponentially everyday. Hope you had fun.

June 29, 2008 21

Where Did You Go…In Space?

Here I go again. Curiosity has taken the best of me and I find the need to ask what rational people never think about. Today’s “Where Did You Go” theme will be a space one. It’s funny to think that a lot of the movies back in the eighties were based off a magical box called a computer and through that unknown resource of technology anything was possible. Whether it was taking pieces of discarded junk to construct a spaceship, plug in a processor making the magic of space travel possible or start World war 3, computers made any story believable. But I digress. Actually, I don’t know where I was going with that at all. So without further ado, here are some Astronauts from the 80’s.

Joey Cramer from the Disney movie, Flight Of The Navigator. I swear that this was on HBO for 10 years straight when I was growing up. This was the only real notable role for Joey. He played David Scott Freeman, a kid who was abducted by an alien at 12 and returned back to Earth, only it was eight years later and he had not aged a day. For some reason he always struck me as a whiny little dick. “I wanna go back to my family…Jack gets all the attention…..You took me away from my family…but I want a Golden Goose….” Regardless, the one cool thing is the brief appearance of the Foot (Sarah Jessica Parker). I love the scene in reference to Twisted Sister when David asked, “who’s she?” Sarah replied, “It’s not a she it’s a he. Actually it’s a them…”

The Canadian born actor has not done much since Flight of the Navigator besides a few odd movies and a guest appearance on “Murder She Wrote”. He did win the Saturn Award for Flight of the Navigator so I guess that’s pretty cool. Where ever he is, he is 34 and I will not bet my life on it but here is a picture of him from 1996. The only one I could find.

I hope that is him. It’s from some off Broadway play but since then, I got nothin’.

We all know this movie! Like I said in the beginning, anything is possible with a computer and a Tilt-a-Whirl. Most people remember Ethan Hawk and the late River Phoenix but not me. I remember Jason Presson, the lesser known actor but the one I liked the best. Ethan was too much of a windbag in this film and River was plowing a pretty grotesque alien, so the only one left to respect was Jason Presson, (Darren Woods).

I guess Jason took a different road after The Explorers because River Phoenix and Ethan Hawk’s career really shot off. Since then he has stayed primarily with TV and lower budget films. But I do have to give him props for Gremlins 2. He hasn’t done much that I can find since 1997 but I did find a recent picture of him. I hope he goes back to film. We need more Pressons out there.

I remember seeing this movie, but I don’t recall the specifics. All I know is Larry B. Scott was in it. Whether his role was the token character or not, he is one of my favorite actors. I love this guy and I have been a fan since Iron Eagle.

Larry B. Scott played the role of Rudy Tyler, a science geek that fell short of a few essential skills like… understanding it. He was really an entrepreneur who loved french fries and dreamed of one day opening a restaurant in space. We are still waiting, Rudy.

Larry’s resume really stands alone from other recently obscured actors. His films include Iron eagle, Revenge of the Nerds, Karate Kid, Snake eater 2 and his debut movie, A Hero Ain’t Nothin’ But A Sandwich. I challenge anyone to bring that film up in a conversation. I have personally said it 10 times aloud and each time a couldn’t help but laugh. Love ya’ Larry! Here is a recent side shot.

Still a winner so many years later.

Hello Ally Sheedy! Goodness gracious she’s a hottie. I know I am drifting from the space theme but stay with me here. The movie War Games is about two teenagers who play with their computer magic box and the mystical, yet prehistoric Internet when the Web only had a few strings, and almost start a world war. I take the space theme because one, ICBMs go to space and two, I love Ally Sheedy. Two should be a good enough reason.

I think we all know how Ally has been but I just wanted to include her because I haven’t seen her around. Actually since she kicked her sleeping pill addiction I haven’t seen her in anything mainstream. The last project that I remember was when she played the ticket agent in Home Alone 2. That’s no place for a Goddess! Get you act together agents! Right? (crowd response- RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!)

JINX the robot from Space Camp! Well, I can’t find a picture of him for the life of me so I will give you a clip of him in the most unrealistic scenario in cinema history.

Shame on you Tom Skerritt for being in this crap! But anyway, there is JINX. The robot that had a boy crush on Max (Joaquin Phoenix) granting his wish and shooting him into space. To me JINX sounds like a three year old with a trachiotomy. But what ever. If there was any truth to this movie I think we could currently find JINX looking like this:

Oh man, I have rambled through this one. Thanks for putting up with me. Now off to a meeting with Fuck stick One and Fuck Stick Two. Have a stellar weekend!

June 13, 2008 13

Where Did You Go? Part…4?

I think I am going to keep up with my inquiry into obscure actors and actresses that mean a lot to me. It’s fun to poke around the internet and find out that the co-star of a long lost great sitcom now owns a chain of TCBY’s around Delaware. Then again the same search can reveal the actor died from an asphyxiation fetish while jerking off in a Motel 6 off International Blv. in Orlando. Regardless it makes for interesting reading.

Tom Atkins has always been the symbol of masculinity for mid range budget 70’s and 80’s horror movies like The Fog, The Creepshow, Night Of The Creeps and of course the cinematic equivalent to a dump in a jar, Halloween III. He wears a tough exterior as the hero who is never far from the vices that bind him. I don’t think i have seen him in a movie without a drink in one hand and a cowboy killer in the other. If there is ever a reason to drop everything I have worked for in life, grow a mustache, move to Hollywood and pursue a career in acting it’s because of Tom Atkins. It’s Miller time!

Tom is still pretty busy these days. He has a list of movies that are still in post and pre production and has made quite a few TV appearances to include Walker Texas Ranger, The Fall Guy and Xena: Warrior Princess. He still resides in his home state of Pennsylvania and I really hope he’ll make an appearance at Screamfest 2008 in Florida because the chance of meeting him is the only real reason I am going.

This has always puzzled me. What did Jennifer ever see in Cousin Larry? She was way out of his league, don’t you think? Well, regardless the actress who played Jennifer is Melanie Wilson and she cranked my tractor, even when I was only eight. She had a long ride with the show “Perfect Strangers” and was also in a couple of other great shows from the eighties like “Simon And Simon”, “The A-Team” and the spin off “Family Matters”. I think she has been behind the scenes in a few other Hollywood projects but nothing after 2001. Little known fact, she is the daughter of the late “Mr. Whipple” from the old Charmin toilet paper commercials. Sorry for your recent loss, Melanie. Mr. Wilson was one of the greats.

Alice Drummond will always have a place close to my heart from that fateful scene in the beginning of Ghostbusters when she was the New York librarian who encountered that full torso, free floating, non vaporous apparition that made me shit my pants as a child. I still love her interview with Bill Murray which gave us the famous line, “Back off man. I’m a scientist.” She has been in many films and TV shows in her career and is still cranking them out today. It’s kind of funny that she is of grandmother age and shot an episode of “Boston Legal” called Ass Fat Jungle. Oh to be on set when the grip tells her, “scene 4, Boston Legal, Ass Fat Jungle take 2…..action!”

I feel a little bad about this, but until recently I have always known Alex Karras as Webster’s father, George Papadopolis and the dumb guy that punched out a horse in Blazing Saddles. It turns out he was also an All American college football great, an NFL legend for the Detroit Lions, a Monday Night NFL commentator and a professional wrestle. Hrm, who knew? I bet over half the population of America knows Karras as the NFL great and not George. That’s why I write this stuff!

On another point, don’t you find the character names strange in the show “Webster”? George Papadopolis, Katherine Calder-Young Papadopolis, Webster Long, and poor Heather O’Rourke didn’t even have a last name. Just Melanie. I am curious how those names came to be.

This was a pretty lame post, but I couldn’t leave the site on such a sad sack note.

June 9, 2008 27

Just Not The Same

Is it just me or does getting older really ruin all the little things in life. For example, a good friend corrected me when I used the term “conniption fit.” For the longest time I thought it was “connip-shit” and I have been using that for as long as I remember. It’s embarrassing to admit but that’s the truth. So it prompted a hard look at somethings that just aren’t the same anymore.

Ewoks suck. For the longest time I regarded Return Of The Jedi as the greatest Star Wars movie of them all. Now that I look back i just see it as one giant toy revenue stream, which was fine when I was 7 but now I feel a little bored with it. Much like finding out your are really a conservative when you give into corporate America, I require more in a movie than “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” and latex muppets. I consider myself an Empire Strikes Back fan now. Plus, thanks to a picture at Social Pariah, it just dawned on me that Wicket was really the downs syndrome Ewok that tends to wander through Endor. I imagine he lives in the lowest hut at the Ewok Village. He also looks like a smelly. “Yub-Yub”.

Hotels suck. The thrill is gone when it comes to travel. I think I realized this on a trip a few months ago when I was spoiled by a five star room and the next week I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. That drastic change turned me into a snob. Everything about the room annoyed me from the TV only having 20 channels to the air conditioning being too loud. I remember a time when I would drink at the lounge, meet new people, order room service, even go to the pool. Now, I work in bed, read a book and complain in the morning that my back is stiff. I even bring my own pillow case for fear of getting some face disease. What a shit I am.

I will never ride on this. When I was growing up we used to South Jersey for the summer and the days were all the same. During the day we would be at the shore and at night we would ride the rides. It must have been a thrill for my poor folks but I lived for it. Today when I see a fair, all I can think about is the amount of insurance that goes into portable roller coasters. Beside the fact that just looking at them makes my equilibrium off balance I am absolutely positive that I will not be killed on the “Scrambler”. I can see the local news story now. “Local man flung off the Scrambler in a bucket seat. Witnesses said he was making squealing sounds before he landed in the donkey ride. He did not survive.”

Buffets are ruined. I have a hard time eating at Chinese or even American buffets and I think it is because I just think about it too hard. My imagination takes the best of me and all I imagine is sneezey people, grubby kid fingers and flies. I am the jerk that orders off the menu when everyone one else is elbow deep in Lo Mein. However, I do miss eating Kung Pao chicken and corn dogs at the same time.

The excitement of the theater. I actually do miss going to the movies but I just cant find the time to spend two hours anywhere for recreation. The last film I saw was Cloverfield and it was reminiscent of the old movie experience but lately I don’t have the desire. I blame friends that i used to hang out with for that. They were the couple that dressed like the characters of the film. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why people dress up for the opening of a film. As you could imagine I was pretty embarrassed when the last Star Wars movie opened up.

I am sure there plenty of other items in life that I have grown to see differently. It’s hard to think of them right off the top of my head but be sure, I’ll let you know. That reminds me, up until today I have used the term “to no extent”. It is “to some extent” and “to no end”. It’s good that I figured that out at 30.

May 29, 2008 24

Top 10 Movie Scenes

Everyone has their all time favorite movie scenes and I am no different. The other day I was in a deep discussion with a not-so-deep person. The subject of favorite movies came up and I sat there while she listed 27 Dresses, Pretty Woman, Titanic, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, ect… Some of those movies were not a surprise to me but when I listed mine she gave me a look that seemed to say, “that’s sad that you are a geek”. When I recognized the look I asked her what are her favorite scenes from the movies. To that, she didn’t know. All she knew was that the films were pleasing as a whole and that is as deep as she got. So I gave her a look that said, “oh, that is sad she is retarded”.

Loved by many as well as hated by many, the movie Clifford really went down as one of my favorites because of one particular scene. Martin Short plays Clifford, a mischievous 10 year old that is on a quest to go to Dino-World and in doing so, upends his uncle’s (Charles Grodin) life as he knows it. The scene that put this movie on the top ten list is when his uncle (Grodin) asks Clifford to look like a normal person for one minute. Martin Short’s attempt is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. I do this impression when ever I am asked to look at someone when they are talking. Please watch and enjoy. (Is it just me, or does Charles Grodin’s head look weird in that picture above?)

Twilight Zone The Movie caused me to lose my faith in cartoons. It was all because of the chapter about a boy with telekinetic powers who kept his family hostage and slave to his every want and need. That is until he lured a kind hearted woman to his home. The scene that propelled this movie to the 10 list is when his imagination took form in real, not CG, special effects that scared the shit out of me. Even today I get the willies when I see these things. This trumps any scary thing in my nightmares and the folks can thank a hike in their power bill from the hall light being left on thanks to the Twilight Zone.

The “Brownie Incident” in the movie The ‘Burbs will always be etched in my mind as being way too funny for the intended purpose. I have a hard time watching this in public because I wheeze when I see that scene. It can be embarrassing but more times than not, the laughter is contagious and it is cause to rewind and play over and over again. On another note, anything that I drop will always be followed by a “I dropped the goddamn (insert item here)!”

I love this movie. I always have and believe it or not I first saw it on a Catholic retreat weekend in the 80’s. I believe the first scene when Carolann has a conversation with the “TV people” was not only creepy but it was a subtle chill that I deem next to Godliness. Spielberg has a knack for that. He really is underrated, wouldn’t you agree? Plus, the Metro Goldwyn, Mayer lion will forever be the intro, in my mind, to the National Anthem.

Oh the classic! National Lampoon’s Vacation was the greatest film to me and my dad. I couldn’t find the exact clip but when Clark (Chevy Chase) returns from his trek through the desert, I must say, it went down in history as the quote of quotes. “Hey kids, ya’ thirsty?!?!?” Most people don;t find that scene as the pinnacle of the movie but boy I do. Here’s a compilation of one of my favorites and lately, one of TBS’s.

In case you are wondering this is the glorious soundtrack to the movie Iron Eagle. I can pick a few great scenes out but nothing compares to the testing range when Doug says, “Damn it Chappy, I’m doing it my way!” If you haven’t seen this flick you should. Only in the 80’s could there be a film about a kid who steals an Air Force jet from, I don’t know…California, fly to Iran in a few hours, bomb the bag of dicks back to the stone age, rescue the father, fly home and be rewarded by an appointment to the Air Force Academy. Pure genius.

Definitely less fun than the other movies but still I had to include it. The Exorcist was one of those movies that I had seen from the safety of the banister rails when the folks thought I was safe in bed. Little did they know I was scarring myself for years. One of those scenes that did the job was Father Carras’s first dialog with the already possessed Reagan. I can’t tell you why, but I believe this is the scariest thing on American film.

I have a real tough time watching the beginning scene of Saving Private Ryan without shedding a tear. I can’t describe it and I don’t think there are words that could. Please watch.

I love this scene from the movie, There’s Something About Mary, because as many of you know, it’s personal. There are things that are far worse than stepping in dog poop and tracking it in the date’s house. It is hard to pick a scene that is the best from this movie. Every thing from warren’s flip out to the 7 minute abs scene I think this one was strictly by default. The only testicle shot to be seen in the theater that didn’t include bums and extra napkins.

Last but no least we come to the greatest cinema scene to me. This one is shared by many and I believe it to be some of the greatest acting in the world. If the shark wasn’t scary enough the audience gets chilled to the bone by Quint’s tales of how terrifying being eaten alive is. I have read the book and I believe Robert Shaw did it justice.