I have really been slacking on these, haven’t I? Oh well. It’s not like hundreds of people are waiting on an update or anything. Besides, I think if I added to the ‘where did you go’ page every month I may run out of people. Then I’ll have to start getting personal, calling out old elementary school chums like Danny P. who shit himself while playing the game “Red Light Green Light”. Makes you wonder how he turned out?
Lar Park Lincoln (Laurie Jill Park) is one of those actresses that everyone recognizes but few can put their finger on where they know her from. But not me! She was the hottest actress in the late 80’s and even though I thought her name was Ms. Hottie McHot Boobs, her career really flourished as a serious actress. Especially in the big budget but campy horror flicks like House II and Friday the 13th VII. You know that those type of movies impress me.
Lar also had a very busy TV career as well to include her long time role on Knots Landing, Tour of Duty, Hunter, Outlaws, Freddy’s Nightmares and of course…Murder She Wrote. I swear that every actor of the 80’s had to appear in an episode of Murder, She Wrote. In fact, I’m going to temporarily post a new page, just to prove my point.
Lar is still working hard on the Hollywood front in acting, directing and as an author. Sadly, she is currently in a battle with breast cancer so I am sending her good vibes VeggeiMacabre style by burning a picture of what I think cancer looks like.
Aubree Miller? Who is Aubree Miller? Well, if you where a crack level Star Wars addict kid like I was then you are quite aware of who Ms. Miller is. She played Cindel, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Towani in the made for TV movie The Ewok Adventure (1984) and The Battle For Endor (1985). I can remember going out of my mind when finding out there was an extension to the Star Wars saga that I could watch from the comforts of the couch, snuggling with a Hasbro X-Wing and eating 3PO cereal.
To be honest, I haven’t seen these episodes in 20 plus years so I can’t tell you much about them other than what is on IMDB. I can, however, say that Wilford Brimley has a staring role in the second one and that by default makes it worth watching. But poor Aubree’s career never branched from Endor. Her only time in the lime light was the two Ewok mini-movies and you know what? That’s okay. It’s better to burn out than fade away, Aubree. Currently she is making Comic Con like appearances and living a normal life in Chico, Cali. Here she is today and sadly, I’m a year older than her. Goddamn it.
I can’t figure out who the two on the right are. I’m going out on a limb and say fans.
You know this was a long time coming. It’s Josh Saviano who played Paul Pfeifer from one of the greatest suburbia melodramas set in the late 60’s, The Wonder Years. I always had a connection with Paul. Perhaps it was the asthma/allergy open mouth breathing Paul always seemed to be doing. I was the sickly kid in school that was forced to buy apple juice in the milk line you know.
Well, unfortunately Josh didn’t grow up to be Marilyn Manson like I believed up until a year ago. Now I am completely confused by the lyrics in the song, “Dope Show”. I imagined it to be the episode when Kevin and Paul learned about the female reproductive system in gym. I am rambling again. Anyway, Josh is an attorney now in NYC after attending Yale. Although he didn’t act after The Wonder Years, which was 99% of his Hollywood career, Milhouse on the Simpson’s was based off his character and he was on Reading Rainbow. Both pretty amazing, I must say.
I ask people all the time if they can name Bobcat Goldthwiat’s brother in the film, One Crazy Summer. So far, no one. But I can. And the only reason for that is, is for the longest time I thought they cast someone opposite of Bobcat’s character who detracted from his struggling vocal chords and twitchy movements. They needed someone who was…well…slightly “touched” or what they call here in northern Idaho, a “slow-roller”. I really did think that Tom Villard, pictured above, was retarded. But nope! He wasn’t.
Tom was best known from his role in the 1980’s drama,” We’ve Got It Made” but he will always be known to me as Egg Stoke’s brother in the classic, One Crazy Summer. Once you are in an older John Cusack movie, you’ve pretty much made it in my eyes.
I tried finding a current picture of Tom but it turns out he’s dead. I hate finding things out this way. Unfortunately he succumbed to complications from the AID’s virus in 1994 and left us way too early. Sorry I thought you were retarded Tom. 😦
If you want to subject yourself to more, I have a page at the top with 1 through 8.
Holy shit this is a great movie! Sure the more sophisticated summer movie connoisseur would pick Caddy Shack if given the choice of Bill Murray movies but there is something about camp that gets me in the summer mood. It kind of sucks that I am too old even to be a counselor but it brings back so many great memories. Memories like late night practical jokes on other cabins, the nervous tension of being forced to spend a week bunking with kids you don’t know, the sadness of the last campfire, and how we all thought the counselors were so cool and the subject of camp rumors and gossip. I still remember thinking that a blow job was something done to an ear. I want that innocence back.
Rumor has it this kid was in mid-stream when this picture was taken. That’s a lie, but it kind of looks that way, huh? Anyway, I grew up in a neighborhood that didn’t have a community pool so we were forced to jump through the sprinklers or breakout what my Dad called the “yard killer”; the kiddie pool. I remember these plastic pools from K-Mart to be as much fun as they look above. Even for an only child who had an imagination that could keep him entertained for an eternity during Catholic mass, this pool, with floating pine needles and drowned yellow jackets, really sucked. Especially when you have a friend over and the suck is multiplied by two. Ugh! I can still smell the hose water and see the pool toys that were just fancy McDonald Happy Meal boxes in the shape of boats.
The next step up is being invited to the friend’s neighborhood pool. That’s an exciting summer day.
Wow…sharks and minos, underwater tea parties, chicken, handstands, cannonballs, jackknives, and of course my famous 1/3 flip off the diving board. That’s always good for a laugh. I also remember the packed lunch and how Hi-C, peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos and Sunkist Fun Fruits never tasted so good. I tried it the other day and it just isn’t the same without chlorine and uncontrollable shivering.
First off, it’s a place I generally drink beer and read. Those are the two things I didn’t do when I was a kid. Also I rarely go into the water because it is usually occupied by 12 year olds and that age group really pisses me off in recreational environments. It’s just a great time to catch up with a good book, drink a dozen beers and sweat them out while working on a one-sided tan because I hate laying on my stomach. I can never get comfortable. Are you suppose to stick your face between the chair straps?
Anything that comes in one of these is great. If it is served by this guy it will be a minor explosion of amazing.
Pasta salad is the must at all outdoor activities that includes food. If I am present at a picnic and the is no pasta salad expect me to remove the picnic blanket and use it as a cape as I run around and step on the rest of the food. Expect it.
Couple of dogs and a beer. It’s hard to imagine lips, assholes and yeast to be a summer must but it is. Especially at a weekday 1pm Cubbies game when you skip work to go. “Heyyy batta batta, sawingg batta!! He can’t hit he Can’t hit he can’t hit…”
Quarter sliced watermelon that is wrapped in Reynold’s Wrap. Don’t know why but this is summer to me. But every time I eat watermelon I get a dull pain in my tongue from a watermelon eating race gone bad back in 1985. I remember I bit my tongue and lost the race. As I sat there in failure, holding ice wrapped in a paper towel on my tongue, I was awarded a “nice try” gift. It was bubbles. Insult!
Do I really need to expand on this one? It’s part of the reason the Earth tilts on it’s axis, you know. But remember, if you see Megadeth this summer, leave the laser pointer at home. See below. I’m pretty sure the guy in the audience is no longer with us.
Created by a very funny guy over at Revelation XIII, the character Baron Mind, played and written by Mike Revenaugh and filmed/edited by
My whole life I have moved at least every few years but this house you see above has remained a constant when I was growing up. I was here as an infant, every Christmas was spent here, more Nerf boomerangs have been eaten by the roof and more light saber battles have been waged in this backyard than Lucas could ever imagine. It’s hard to believe that there are over 30 years of personal memories here.
To get in the house we will go around back to the covered porch. The only people who come through the front door are deliveries and company. You’re with me so we will go this way. See that cooler over there? It’s always full of beer. There is nothing better than sitting on the porch with the space heater blaring, drinking Yeungling and reading my Grandmothers Parade magazine. I’m not joking. Just looking at this picture I smell the stale cigarette smoke and electric heating coils. *sniffffff……ahhhhhhhh*
From the back porch we get to the kitchen. This is where my love for instant coffee was forged. But this picture is bitter sweet because as I look at the chairs my mind drifts to the days when I was forced to finish my cooked carrots, no matter how long it took. You see, my grandparents grew up during the depression and not finishing your food was as insulting as telling them the Pope is a bag of dicks. So I would sit there and endure a child’s equivalent to water boarding as I would choke down cooked carrots, dry heaving and tearing. I do, however, have a great memory of my Uncle Mark coming to my rescue and scarfing down my carrots when my Grandmother left the room, giving me a wink and a shush finger as he headed out for his night on the town. I love that guy.
Leaving the kitchen we come to the dining room. It’s funny, but this room elicits a little bit of anger from me and it comes from a silly pet peeve. I hate eating in a quiet place and listening to eating noises. This side of the family eats….well…like a G-damn horse. They never have the TV on so all yo hear is crunching, smacking and nose-whistling. I always show up to the table with two forks; one to eat with and one to stab into my leg out of anger.
The living room! This is where we gather to watch TV and I swear, the local news is on at least half the time. To this day, coming home to Grandma’s is not official until I hear the channel 6 theme song, 
My Grandfather passed away a few years ago. Every time I am alone in this house I tend to stare at the old pictures and remember him. He really was the product of the greatest generation. He served in the Navy in WW2, came home, started right to work at GE making rotatory rocket engines for ICBMs, got married and had kids. I constantly think about his work ethic. Every year he worked like a dog to provide for the family and only had the one week vacation at the shore to look forward to. He never complained though and he never quit to find greener pastures. He was tough, selfless and had a heart the size of Gibraltar. But cancer came and took him from us in 2003. God I do miss him.
We are now upstairs. You are looking at the only bathroom in the house. If you look closely at the frame on the right you will notice that it has a slight curve to it. When the weather changes the wood swells and this leads to the door sticking. I can not take a shower without locking the door so that means the door has to be flush with the frame. So, I spend 15 to 20 minutes in the bathroom and 30 minutes prying the door open. Two years ago I pulled the knob straight off.
We are going to skip the other two rooms up here and go right to Uncle Mark’s room. This is where I usually sleep when I visit. Notice the folded cot on the right? Yeah, sleeping in here is a challenge to say the least. I try to beat Uncle Mark to bed because if he falls asleep first, it’s like sleeping in the trombone section of an orchestra. There is nothing worse, besides eating sounds, than trying to fall asleep over super sonic snoring and four-note sleep farts. Try to find your happy place during that!
GAAAA! Don’t forget who sleeps in the next room.
Now we are in the basement and this is the best room in the house. My Uncle Mark has occupied the basement ever since I could form memories. This was the place where I spent most of my time and I know that was a little selfish because I should have spent more time hanging out with my elderly great aunts and eating their blue mints. But seriously though, how could a kid resist cable TV, a bag full of candy next to the recliner, a computer with Duke Nuke ‘Em, and every cool gadget known to man. I mean, I didn’t grow up with cable so HBO and old school Nickelodeon was something you had to take advantage of. I swear I saw the movie The Explores and the show 
The hat collection. This is actually willed to me. I’d like to say I can’t wait but that means somebody has to die. I’ll wait for the hat collect.
Here we are! The vacation fund and it’s full….of dimes…..and there is a lock on it. 
Uncle Mark’s ex-girlfriend was a graphic artist an she designed screen savers. This is one of them. I really hope this was the reason he dumped her because, WTF?!?!
I’ll post my failed pick tomorrow.
Casserole of Disaster 
