Present Self to Future Self

I just wanted to capture this moment and preserve it in a blog so I can look back from the future and say, “wow, that was worth it”. It’s inconceivable at my current state to believe so, but given time, I thing it will happen. Almost as if I am shouting to my future-self saying, “FUTURE-SELF! YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME!” I can feel him reading this now. That smug bastard.

Or wait, what if I am to be future-failure-self and all this is for not? What if I am burning present-self to oblivion and future-self is reading this shouting, “STOP! STOP! I’M A DAIRY FARMER IN SACRAMENTO! YOU DON’T NEED ANY OF THIS!”  To that I say…I need to get back to present-self. Fuck off future-self.

I am sure that future-self hates me right now and I get that. I look at past-self with a semi-satisfactory opinion and I don’t believe that is too out of the ordinary. I mean who doesn’t strive to better each day so there is no way that future-self can be reading this without an eye roll or two. Some of past-self’s actions deserve ball punches with extreme prejudice and I am hoping future-self is not as critical from this point forward. And now I am done writing on this.

I was watching Caddy Shack for the 400th time yesterday and I thought I had just about every line committed to memory until I caught the a subtle interaction between the Judge and his grandson, Spalding. It’s very quick but it is now my new favorite quote.

Spalding (teeing off but doing poorly): “TURDS!”

Judge: “Spalding watch your language!”

Spalding: “Sorry Grandpa.”

(Tries again) “DOUBLE FARTS!”

Well, I managed to cross the 100 mile per week running goal and I think this will be maintained for the foreseeable future. I am really surprised how good I feel, though. There is little soreness, the feet are fine, no knee and back issues and the runs are at a quick pace. The military side of me believes I am not pushing myself hard enough because without pain there is no gain but the 32 year old side of me is knocking on wood while doing the Bartakomous’s, “dance of joy”.  This may culminate catastrophically but really, do I do it any other way?


I was watching Bert the Conqueror last week and I am a huge fan. He reminds me of someone and it is bugging the hell out of me that I can’t think of who. Regardless, this show is great and I highly recommend it. So watch it. That’s an order.

14 thoughts on “Present Self to Future Self

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  1. I’m so glad I’m not going back to school to do whatever it is that you’re doing. I’ll stick to planning lessons based on finger painting in chocolate pudding thank you very much. Congrats on the 100 mile a week run! I’m working on my 1 mile a week run…feeling pretty good about that haha. The show looks awesome, thanks for the heads up.

  2. Congrats on the milestone. I’m just happy to be getting back in the gym. Now I just gotta get my hands on a workout regime.

    Bert looks like a lot of fun. My favorite part:

    “Do you want to hold hands? I don’t care.”

  3. your future self is totally excited about that one day long ago that your present self decided to look at that blog post you supposedly printed out and hung on your wall and your present self thought to yourself, “gawd, i should go check that shit out for myself.” remember when you did that, future billy? that was some fun times.

  4. I’ve been trying to walk a lot more nowadays as with a baby I’m indoors sitting around a lot more. I took a five-mile walk with a buddy and was quite proud–but at 100 milers per week you’ve shamed me! That’s awesome, though, keep it up!

    P.S. – I’ve been digging Bert’s show, too; he was up at Cedar Point on one of the first episodes which is north of me here in Ohio and I desperately need to get around to visiting that park some day.

  5. He reminds me of that guy you see at every party in college. You know the one I am talking about…that guy…you know…he has probably been to your parties too. He actually reminds me of Frank the Tank from “Old School”. Kinda has that Will Farrell aura about him…or maybe it could be Will Ferrell’s character..Chazz Reinhold from “Wedding Crashers”

  6. Will’s Future Self- Holy shit! I can’t believe you’re running 100 miles a week!

    Will’s Present Self- Take that and stick it in your back pocket future self!

    ps. Caddy Shack rocks.

Speak to me, Egor.

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