Sometimes, life can explain itself in such a way you just have to laugh. Since my great “speech” I made a week ago to some of the smartest and most promising young professionals America and Canada has to offer, I have really been reflecting on me as a person. One reason is, well, I should not have been there in the first place and the other is the way I constructed the presentation as whole. you see, the topic was on success and the techniques each person uses to obtain it. I am not a success. Actually, the definition as a whole I find aggravating. Really successful people do not view themselves as a success because there is always more to accomplish. Well, that’s my view anyway.
Instead of lying to the audience of 1500 I took a different approach. I explained how to get up after being knocked down. No one knows disappointment and goal changes like this guy here. I mean, no matter how many times I type it, I will always misspell “briliant”. FUCK! Brilient. Brilliant. See? Marching to one’s owns beat can have it’s lessons so here are some of my Powerpoint topic headliners.
“Walls are only there to keep out those who don’t want it bad enough.”
Man, this is true. When I really want something, it’s as good as done. Unfortunately there are a lot of amazing opportunities that have passed me by for the simple reason that I never looked for ways around the obstacle.Where there is a Will, there is a way. I am Will, by the way.
“It seems in times of great adversity, these are the times that can define us.”
This is everything to me. Everything. It’s why I run as far as I do. It’s why I beat my head against the wall over those who most would normally give up on. And it’s why I look at disappointment as an opportunity. Believe it or not, this is written on a piece of paper and in my wallet at all times.
“I am a dreamer. Live with it.”
You can’t change who you are. I am a dreamer and I always have been. But I think good dreamers are those who have envisioned the product after hard work and sacrifice. Those who dream and don’t include the hard work are more like…bad dreamers. Yeah, I got nothing. But don’t buy a bridge from those type of people! Or an airplane. Anything, really.
There were a number of those motivational bullets but as a whole it really just summed up my life as a “try; try again” event. It went over well and was met with lots of laughs and applause which I find odd. I just told everyone I am not a success, an executive nor young which was the entire subject of the conference. Jokes on them.
But I will say my last two slides gave some great advice and I stand by them.
“In the candy dish of life, don’t be the Blue Raspberry Jolly Rancher or the Lemon Starburst. You will always be last.”
“If your friend drives a Jetta and takes up two spaces in a full church parking lot with tags that read “DSCGOLF”, get rid of him/her. There can not be winners without losers.”
I think I should copywrite those two, what do you think?
Casserole of Disaster 
Excellent speech / presentation. Can you post some of the powerpoint slides? And why do people with shit box cars take up two spaces? You can not fix stupid.
I sure will my friend.
No, stupid is chronic. You as a cop know that better than anyone.
Sounds like the presentation was awesome and no surprise it was so well received.
Awe, thank you! I can’t believe you are in Arkansas. Did you know there is a law that says it’s illegal to mispronounce “Arkansas”? True!
Haha Good thing the law doesn’t say anything about misspelling it or the jails would be full. j/k…ok that was lame and a cheap shot
Those last two quotes are classic! EWW….to blue raspberry jolly ranchers! By the way, I would pay to have you give a talk about life/success, because inspiration and hilarity are your two cornerstones 😉
Can you invite me to your big Book sign? I will talk to ya. 🙂
Too bad there’s not a video. I would have liked to have seen/heard that.
Call me crazy, but I actually love blue raspberry jolly ranchers…