This hasn’t happened to me for a while but the other day I was cruising around a very quirky gift store and had the scare of a life time. If you have read my previous posts it is clear that have issues with/puppets that lack a sense of humor. Well, right when I walked in I heard a rattling sound and right to my right hand side stood this…
‘ Jesus, what is that?!?! I leaped right out of my shoes and headed for the door making some noise that made me question my manhood. By the time I got to the door I looked back to see if the old lady had a hold on my collar. Then the brain kicked in and I began to realize it was not a satanic Grandma but a robotic, vibrating . The worker at the shop came around the corner (amused, I’m sure) and gave warning that her husband is also in the store. With my heart in my throat I thanked her for the heads up and walked cautiously through the over stocked shop.
I was on guard and I must had looked like I was on patrol in Vietnam. There is one thing I hate and that is life size-looking that move. I had to find this guy before he found me because shitting myself as a 30 year old guy in a chick store is a great way to kill any self esteem I had left.
Found him. It still made my heart jump but there he was. I can rest a little easier that there was no more surprise encounters withgrandpa and grandma. I did feel a little silly inching up to take a closer picture by stepping one foot at a time while remaining at the ready to sprint in the opposite direction should he make any sudden movements. But seriously, look at this guy.
Why? Why would anyone need this? A six and a half foot, moving butler? If I was little and I came to this particular store I would still be awake today. There is nothing funny or cute about this and I tip my hat to the girl who locks up at night.
I was still keyed up and even this dog caught me off guard. I didn’t make girl noises but he made me ball a fist in defense. I guess this type of stuff is just wasted on me. There must be some repressed memory that elicits such an irrational response. I know that these things are rubber and metal but it doesn’t lessen the fact that being trapped in a small place with one would definitely make me squeeze my hamburger.