Another Proud Moment


This hasn’t happened to me for a while but the other day I was cruising around a very quirky gift store and had the scare of a life time. If you have read my previous posts it is clear that have issues with muppets/puppets that lack a sense of humor. Well, right when I walked in I heard a rattling sound and right to my right hand side stood this…

Jumpin‘ Jesus, what is that?!?! I leaped right out of my shoes and headed for the door making some noise that made me question my manhood. By the time I got to the door I looked back to see if the old lady had a hold on my collar. Then the brain kicked in and I began to realize it was not a satanic Grandma but a robotic, vibrating mannequin. The worker at the novelty shop came around the corner (amused, I’m sure) and gave warning that her husband is also in the store. With my heart in my throat I thanked her for the heads up and walked cautiously through the over stocked shop.

I was on guard and I must had looked like I was on patrol in Vietnam. There is one thing I hate and that is life size muppet-looking mannequins that move. I had to find this guy before he found me because shitting myself as a 30 year old guy in a chick store is a great way to kill any self esteem I had left.

Found him. It still made my heart jump but there he was. I can rest a little easier that there was no more surprise encounters with robo grandpa and grandma. I did feel a little silly inching up to take a closer picture by stepping one foot at a time while remaining at the ready to sprint in the opposite direction should he make any sudden movements. But seriously, look at this guy.

Why? Why would anyone need this? A six and a half foot, moving butler? If I was little and I came to this particular store I would still be awake today. There is nothing funny or cute about this and I tip my hat to the girl who locks up at night.

I was still keyed up and even this dog caught me off guard. I didn’t make girl noises but he made me ball a fist in defense. I guess this type of stuff is just wasted on me. There must be some repressed memory that elicits such an irrational response. I know that these things are rubber and metal but it doesn’t lessen the fact that being trapped in a small place with one would definitely make me squeeze my hamburger.

11 thoughts on “Another Proud Moment

  1. Ha you poor thing. I think that butler guy is cool but I can imagine his gears cranking are almost as loud as him talking. I have seen those full sized santa’s dancing and so I know how loud those gears can be. It takes away from the novelty for sure.

    And I think “he squeezed his hamburger” should be a new expression for he just shit his pants. Maybe that didn’t need to be said.

    Hey one more thing, I watched fright night last night! It was on the encore channel so I DVR’ed it. It was ok, it reminded me of the lost boys. It did get my heart racing at the end though. And boobies always helps a movie out. I kept on thinking “is that the girl from empty nest?” then I kept on thinking to myself that can’t be right! I just looked it up on imdb (thank GOODNESS for that site) Marcy from Married with Children. I’m an idiot. Everytime she talked I thought that is a unforgettable voice.

  2. I love that video.
    I cannot think of why you would need fake rubber people standing around your home either, but for taking photos of for your blog they are a necessity.

  3. What I don’t understand is why gramps is wearing a tux (Carnation in his label and all) and grandma appears to wearing a schlumpy vest. Tsk, tsk. When the cat’s away…

  4. Oh my sweet babboo, so full of adorable little quirks.

    For some reason the evil old tuxedo man reminds me of Sam, the night watchman on Today’s Special. Did you ever watch that one? It was an old Nick show about a department store mannequin that comes to life at night.

  5. kristiane I don’t know about the old woman but I know the Butler is supposed to be at your front door to greet people. Like those creepy butlers in scary movies. May I get you a drink Madam? May I take your coat? Your looking lovely this evening!! And so on.

  6. Actually, I would LOVE to stock my house with stuff like that. My goal when people visit my place is to constantly find new ways to scare them. Love the video. That was hilarious.

    jdevore, Fright Night is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. It still stands up to this day. No matter how many times I watch it, it never gets old. Long live Evil Ed.

    “Dinner…is IN the OVEN!”

  7. Yes DJ D Will insisted i watch it for him and your sake in one of the ‘where are they now?” blogs. BTW I am Goob from X-E if you haven’t figured it out yet.

  8. battle…

    I had a feeling you didn’t know. We all have our moments. My real name is Jodi and I wanted my blog to be, professional?

    One last thing about Fright Night, Evil Ed said a phrase I’ll try to use in my vocabulary.

    “I never turn down a fool’s money” or something along those lines 🙂

  9. Yeah, I’m a big fan of “Oh, you’re so COOL, Brewster!” I use it whenever one of my friends does something that just makes them look like a total jackass. Partly because it’s just funny and partly just to test to see if anyone around me is so cool that they might actually know what I’m talking about. Sadly, few of them ever do.

Speak to me, Egor.

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