The 2008 Fall Beer Review

Well, I guess it is that time of the year again. The weather has changed from warm and humid to cool and crisp. The sweaters are pulled from the Tupperware containers under the bed and the leaves on the trees begin to show off bright reds and oranges as a sign of their yearly demise. Kids are back at school, college football has begun and the Fall prime time shows are in full swing giving the perfect excuse to dip out of a lame date.  But most importantly, the Autumn beers are out so lets go drink some beer!!!

This is the 2nd Annual Beer Review for Veggiemacabre and I think I will continue it from now on. I have fun doing it and oddly enough it is one of the bigger Google hits on the stat counter. Tonight I am going to start with two beers that I am familiar with. Unlike last year I think I will review a few more but for my liver’s sake and your ability to understand what I am writing sake, I will start with two. So let’s begin.

So here are the first two beers of the season. On the left we have the ol’ standby Harvest Moon from the infamous Blue Moon Co. and on the right we have Broken Rake from the Pyramid Brewing Co. When I saw these at the Wal-Mart in Spokane (*shudders*) they were sitting on a pallet far removed from the open cooler. I am pretty sure these two six packs were meant for display but no matter. They went in the basket and and I tore out of there like I was stealing diapers and baby formula. I think I’ll begin with Harvest Moon. And yes, I am writing in real time.

I love Blue Moon and really, as far as “heavy” beers go, this is as heavy as I drink at a restaurant. It is a great summer time beer and the fact that an orange slice compliments it so well you just have to love it. Nothing in the world will make me more disappointed than a bartender who neglects the orange. It’s as big of a faux pas as forgetting the lime in a Dos X. We are lucky to live in such a forgiving country because a forgetful mistake anywhere else could result in cane lashings or an amputated pinky.

The Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale selection is very different than the summery Blue Moon in many ways. The body is much heavier and the taste is more along the line of an IPA. For those not familiar with an IPA it has a little bit of a bitter bite to it. (say that three times fast) Just a swig and my palate transports me to corn mazes and pumpkin patches. I think it might be the cinnamon which is really noticeable. Unlike the Blue Moon, there isn’t a fruit in mind that will compliment this so you can be free of the snide comments in public about drinking a ‘fruity’ beer. I give this a ‘B minus’ only because I have ruined my beer taste on Michelob Ultra and I have no right to even write a beer review. I speak the truth.

Damn I have some E.T. looking fingers in that picture. “Ooooooouuuuch.”

Anyway, this was a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t expecting much since I am unfamiliar to Northwestern beer companies but man, this was awesome. Broken Rake’s Amber Ale far exceeded my expectations and in comparison to the Harvest Moon, it kicked them in the balls. The amber was same in color and body to the Moon but the taste was sweeter and oddly enough lighter in body. A plus! This calls for a celebration in happy beer surprise. (insert Chinese accent there) Let’s carve something!

I tell you what, if you are in a Wal-Mart and you are buying two six packs of beer, a pound of pretzels and a whole pineapple, you are going to get looks. Whatever, I had a mission to accomplish. Originally I was going to carve a potato thanks to the suggestion of Mystie but seeing how I would be drinking and playing with knives, I needed to keep the target a little larger. So this is what I will be hacking up.

I don’t know why a pumpkin has always been the autumn tradition for carving? I have to be honest, pineapples are much easier to carve, you can eat the insides right away and above all else, it doesn’t smell like an old folks home. Yes, I have been to an old folks home that smelled like an inside of a pumpkin. Anyway, I think this will ward off evil spirits just as well and it provides a healthy amount of vitamin C while you are carving.

Awesome! Ruthless Toothless Paul the Pineapple in all his glory. Perhaps I should find this sad that it is a weekend and I am drinking alone while carving fruit. Nah, what else would I be doing? I think I have given these two beers a fair shake and I have to say that I recommend them to anyone who wants to put some buzz into the season. I guess I should put a disclaimer that states not to drink and drive or operate knives and stabbing weapons like I just did. So there you go. Next week I will be reviewing two more and these are my favorites so stay tuned. But for now I will go throw pineapple out in the woods for the wild turkeys or Bigfoot and sit in front of the fire as I finish off the rest of the Broken Rakes.

The X-E Halloween Countdown

I am so sorry things have been so nuts here in Idaho and I haven’t really posted very much. There I go again, apologizing about something no one probably even notices. But anyway, I think most of my friends and family have become resolve to the fact I have been eaten by something by indigenous to the Idaho forests since I haven’t been able to talk on a regular basis. Soooooo, hello. I am still alive.

(I actually found this picture. No, I didn’t make this. In case you are wondering)

That being said I wanted to take a quick second to tell all my blog pals about the 6th annual Halloween Countdown at X-Entertainment.com that Matt Caracappa puts on. It is very entertaining (hence the name) and he is the only one I know who can write 3,000 words about wax vampire lips and teeth and make you generally excited about it. He posts everyday from now until October 31st so please stop by and say hello. I can’t imagine the fall without it.

Halloween Party

Every year I look forward to Halloween and I really don’t know why. I get geared up way too early, burn out around mid October and on the actual day all I really want to do is start the Christmas season. But this year I planned to combat the poorly timed holiday spirit by actually having something to do on Halloween day. This year we threw a party.

So the night before Halloween I finally carved this years pumpkin. Every year I do the same face. It’s more like a retro design but I like it. It reminds me of the back of Charlie Browns head when that bitch Lucy and her even bitchier friend fool him into modeling for their jack-o-lantern. Next year will be same and there is comfort in that. Martha Stewart can F’ing hang.

Here I am. I didn’t intend to be Jason this year. Actually I really wanted to be Angus Young but because I am me, I waited until Halloween afternoon to find all 20 accessories necessary to pull off the rocking outfit. So, I used a flight suit from my prior military career and dropped $6.99 on a hockey mask at exactly 4:30 that afternoon. That’s a plus for the costume but it’s tough to drink 10 beers through a hockey mask. I almost cut a hole in the mouth region but there is a thin line between beer drinking genius and a weird S&M mistaken identity.

Well the decorations were up, the costumes were on and the food was out. Now all we needed were the people to show up and complete the circuit. I will admit that last night I had a few awkward moments very reminiscent of junior high and high school. The party began at 7pm and soon it was 7:30 and we sat on the couch staring out the window while X-Entertainment’s Halloween Jukebox blared Alice Cooper. Just Jason Voorhees and a cowgirl staring pathetically staring out the window. That’s a site from the street.

Then there was a knock! It was the guests and everyone hit a home run on the costumes. Now I was four beers ahead so my friendliness was amplified because everyone received a hug from the slasher of Friday the13th. That was a high point of the night but like all hosts experience, parties have peaks and valleys. Enter the babies.

Don’t get me wrong, I like kids. I think they are cute in small doses and on TV but after a while I’m done. I’m sure that will change if I ever have one of my own but I don’t and I relish in the freedom to leave the scene and change the channel. But they were there and I felt it was necessary to put away the hockey mask and explain all night that I am not a top Gun pilot, damn it.

Ninety five percent of the guests were Tara’s work friends. She is a news anchor so everyone in the news world was at the apartment. So right when the babies and new parents arrived so did my friend Johnathan. He was a priest with a Raggedy Andy doll pinned to his crotch. I thought it was spot on. Spot on, man.

There was definitely a lull taking place about half way through the party. None of the people at the news station were really making an effort to talk with my friends and I was busy making sure no one was cutting through the bedrooms because the babies were sleeping and making sure that people tried the dip. Then one of the quests showed up with Guitar Hero for the Playstation and it was a home run. I don’t go ape shit over video games but that one was pretty cool and it was sort of a bridge that made people mingle. I even rocked Dio’s “Holy Diver” and damn near kicked the TV over with excitement.

This is the point when the festivities are now driven by the alcohol consumption. My friends felt a little neglected and jumped ship before midnight. That sucked for me because the news people talk about one thing and that is work. They also throw people who aren’t present under the bus and that is a real sore spot with me. I’m sure i do it too but i definitely don’t do it in public. That’s really the death rattle of the party when everyone is in the kitchen talking shop and me and the one girl who works in Atlanta watch Nightmare On Elm Street 3. I’m sure she didn’t like it but it was that or do that awkward, stand in the corner and fake laugh thing. It was even weird for me to go to the fridge to get my 16th beer. I felt like the car that disturbed the street hockey game. I could have sworn I heard “game on” when I walked back to the couch.

All parties, good or bad, come to an end and this one did too. I said my good byes and I was pretty proud I didn’t make an ass out of myself. I didn’t fall off the roof or throw up in my hockey mask so I was a head of the game. Right up to the point when the new parents were walking out the door with their sleeping baby. Then I tried to make a funny and it went over like a fart in church. “Thanks for coming and thanks for bringing the little guy. I must admit that I was a little disappointed we couldn’t eat him……ahem….right?” At least they faked a laugh.

You didn’t think I could let Halloween go without me making a little slip did you?

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