Tag: bowling

I’m Here

Good grief I am sorry for the long absence. It seems that life gets crazier and crazier everytime I turn around and before I can stick my head out to see what is going on, the sun has not only set, but done so four or five times. So let me catch you up if you were curious.

  • I’m older. I turned 29 on Saturday. That sucks.
  • Damned near killed myself while driving through Washington. And by damned near, I mean I saw my life flash after my tire blew. These are a few of the images.

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  • 000kg3yqesb_21bmulletI have officially declared snow and ice to be the worst part of Mother Nature. Snow rhymes with blow and ice rhymes with shitty-fuckfuck.
  • This is big news. I am officially down to two cups of coffee a day. If you don’t think that is a big deal than you should have heard me a few weeks ago on two pots a day. “HIMYNAMEISWILL! ILIKEFOOD, DOYOULIKEFOOD? GOOD! LET’SGOGETSOMEFOODANDEATIT! BECAUSEIT’SFOOD!”
  • I saw the movie, The Wrestler a while ago and it’s an amazing  movie. Loved every minute of it. But it’s definitely not a date movie.
  • I’m on a bowling league. I am also the worst one on the league. That really sucks too because there are two ladies who bowl with both hands. But if I am going to be bad at something, being a bad bowler doesn’t really bother me.
  • Apparently I am “King Treadmill”. I’m too big of a wuss to run outside.

Well, that’s all. As you can see, I’m not dead or missing. For the next couple of hours I will be catching up on everyone else’s blogs and I hope I haven’t missed anything huge. If I did, please tell me. I’ll make you a card out of construction paper and glitter-glue.

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Karaoke, Beer and Bowling

I have to admit that even though I rip on the culture here in Idaho it has really increased my desire to write about some of the absurdities as if I was Crusoe keeping a journal. My phone is full of various pictures and notes that have to be seen to be believed. I actually sat next to an older couple the other night and the lady took out her teeth to smoke a cigarette. She told the bartender that she just soaked them before they came out and she wanted to keep them white. Fuck a duck! To be honest, they did look pretty white on a bevnap sitting on the bar. Had I been drinking more I probably would have put them in her ashtray when no one was looking because, well, I’m an asshole like that.

I know the picture above is blurry but this is where I was on Wednesday night. It was karaoke night at the bowling alley and more importantly it was “no smoking night” so I could give my jeans and shirts a break from having to practically burn them when I get home from the wreak of smoke. Notice that it is a David Allen Coe song? Yep, that little ditty was played no more than 30 times. And no one appreciated KISS’s “Strutter” either.

All in all there are some pretty good singers here in Idaho. HA! I can’t even type that with a straight face. The whole night sounded like a third grade trumpet recital. If I didn’t no better I would believe a gaggle of geese where circling over head confused on whether to fly south or mate on the cars in the parking lot. The real funny part is watching all the people support one another as each person butchered the song of their choice. I witnessed a few standing ovations and some “I just want to thank my Mama” speeches.

I really wished there was a Milo there.

By the way, what do you think he has in his pockets? My theory is Milo is packing dinner rolls from the “Singles Potluck/Karaoke Night”. It is plausible.

Anyway, did you know that zucchini grows larger here too? The bartender showed me her award winning zucchini and I have to tell you, i now feel a little inadequate.

Make sure you come back because this weekend I am doing my 2nd annual Fall Beer Review. It’s a great excuse to get loaded, carve something and possibly go to the emergency room. I’ll be back tomorrow. Me with 10 toes and 9 fingers.

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