Finally having a clean car because I am moving off this fucking mountain!
Reading Calvin and Hobbes at age 31.
Living in a town of higher learning. (I’m a liberal guy at heart)
Coming to the resolution that I can not count down the days of my life but rather appreciate the one I’m on. No more working for the weekend.
Organic almonds. I swear they taste 10x better. Maybe it’s the organic spray?
Finding the perfect coffee shop with free WiFi. Fuck Starbucks. Fuck…Starbucks.
This dog
Went running the other day and spotted two girls taking my picture with their cellphones. That’s a little creepy but come on, how can one not like that?
College town art in small businesses.
Door knockers. Just dig ’em. It’s a lost art that I really want to bring back.
I don’t know how it happens but every so often in life I stray off the path and get a little lost. I lose the big picture and the priority of people who should mean the most. I basically lose my map on where to go from here.
Sure there are my own theories for these times of discombobulation but one has to ask, why? Am I running toward something or running away? What are my true fears in life; failing or being alone? Is there really something more to all this?
I guess I am just reaching for perspective and inspiration.
I sent this poem to a dear friend of mine. These immortal words were written by the ALS warrior, Jon Blais. I keep this poem in my wallet and read it whenever I need to center my thoughts.
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living,
I want to know what you paid for.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are,
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams,
For the adventure of being a live.
I want to know if you can live with failure,
Yours and mine,
And still shout at the edges of a lake, river or mountain,
Yes, I am a warrior.
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have,
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
Warry and bruised to the bone,
To do what needs to be done for someone you love,
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
And truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments of your life
And remember me,
Your friend.”
It never ceases to amaze me how people confuse kindness and love for weakness. I guess nice guys do finish last but I didn’t know we were racing. George, you said it best.
“What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other.”
-George Eliot
You need to be with people who get you. To be able to accept someone through faults, imperfections and quirky little peccadilloes with no thoughts of selfish gains is what life should be about. It’s tough to put your honest self out there and minuscule imperfections weigh heavy on people you care about. That’s a great sign to pack the car and head for better abodes. Life is too short for that.
See? Life is short and every time you think it’s hard or dull remember, there are people who see it end every single second of the day. I saw this video the other day and it brought me right back to Bosnia and other war experiences I have had. These images change you and they should. Good people in your life understand that and are sensitive to it. These images should invoke passion about ending violence or at least touch something in you other that chalking it up to a buzz-kill. Be with those who know and care where you have been. RIP Neda.
I guess this post was a little more self absorbed than I wanted it to be. There are times I believe we all stray and need to realign in both body and mind. I do believe that happiness is a choice but man, it’s choice that hides in the most odd places. Judas Priest said you don’t have to be old to be wise. I believe that and strive for it each day. Even on days when I need a nudge from the Blazeman.
This is how I choose to live my life.
Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.
True strength is hard to quantify. It is invisible physically but it shows when it counts and everyone will see it.
Ask for a shoulder and don’t hold back on giving one.
Honesty is never regrettable. It is when people love you for someone who you are not. Be you. God made you and last time I checked He was perfect… or something like that.
Tell people you love them. And do it often.
Don’t dwell on what should have been, concentrate on what can be.
Apathy sucks. Be passionate because it inspires.
Run like you are not planning a return trip. Always look ahead.
Don’t use those around you for gain unless you can give it back to them.
Compassion is why we are alive. Truly, it is the only reason we are breathing right this very minute. So don’t hold back on giving it.
Complacency, rejection and even major hurts happen. Don’t let it harden you and don’t let it weaken you. This too shall pass.
Never drink milk before or after an intense cardio session. They lied. It does a body no good.
Hold out your hand if you need to. Someone will grab it. I believe in that.
Smile at people.
It is true that there are few people that have your best interest in mind. That’s no reason to be a dick.
Never be ashamed of being you and don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just try to do better each day.
Call your parents. And if you can not, pray to them. They love you no matter where they are.
Admit to being wrong and never hold back an apology.
Share.
Ok, that was a preachy list. But I felt I needed to write that. Life is a series of choices. Those are mine. Love ya.
When I was asked to write this article a couple of weeks ago I really didn’t put much thought into what the reasoning was behind it. I assumed that in preparation for this summer’s blockbusters it would be relevant to highlight a past mega buster of a movie and contrast it to today’s features. But as I sat on this assignment the cogs in the head began to turn (hard to imagine, I know) and I understood the premise of this article.
In 1973 the world was introduced to a film that not only shocked audiences but had such a visceral effect that it provoked questions of faith, the church and even the tangible struggle between what is good and what is evil. This film is The Exorcist and still to this date it is known to be one of the scariest movies ever made.
Based on a true story in the late 1940’s about a boy would was supposedly possessed and given the rite of exorcism while it was documented in The Washington Post, Author William Blatty decided to turn this horrific story into a world best seller after recalling reading about it as a teen. While he understood the subject matter was terrifying to many, he never intended it to be a horror novel. Instead, his intentions were focused on the questions of faith, if there is an absolute good or an absolute evil and above all, what is man’s role in that struggle. I believe Mr. Blatty was even more surprised by the reaction when his novel was made into a movie that shattered not only the fiscal record of any movie of previous date but turned audiences into born again church-goers.
But here’s the question. Does it still have that same effect in 2009 that it did in 1973? Movies,music and TV and even the somewhat new addition of video games have come a long way in pushing the envelope to what will cause a gasp among viewers. I mean, Fox has busted down some of the late George Carlin’s 7 no-no’s on TV language by green lighting the words “shit”, “bitch”, “asshole” “dick sucker” and “Goddamn it”. Well, I know those aren’t the exact ones but hell if you can keep your kids from repeating it in the most awkward of places. My point is, I don’t think that the shock in cinema has very much punch anymore. But the brilliance that Blatty’s novel and William Friedkin film, The Exorcist, has is that while the younger audiences may not blink an eye at the split pea soup vomit or the head spin, they will always feel the internal turmoil of their own beliefs in faith.
So, I decided to find someone who is in their early to mid twenties that has not seen this said film. Low and behold I found a person that was closer to me than I thought. This assignment was starting to be easier than I thought. But then again she hasn’t seen The Godfather or Rocky or even Star Wars (the original I think). She considers these to be old movies and from that I gathered, not as relevant or even as engaging as newer films. It almost reminds me of the people in the audience of The Blair Witch Project that were visibly disappointed the witch was never seen. I guess they can’t all be movie dorks like me.
Actually this person is one of the smartest people I have met here in the great northern state of Idaho so it was a real treat interviewing her before and after the first introduction to the film The Exorcist. But, beforeI just popped in the DVD I asked a few questions to see where her mindset stood.
Have you ever heard of The Exorcist?
Yes.
Ok. Now we are going somewhere.
Where?
Every where really…friends, other movies… Always had a curiosity. Seen parts but never really got into it. Pretty much a girl goes crazy on a bed and throws up.
Girl goes crazy in bed and throws up. Hrm…probably shouldn’t touch on that. Are you sure we are talking about the same movie?
Let’s see, spiders, clowns and dolls. Yep, that covers quite a bit of most fears.
What are you fears?
Spiders. Intruders, death, horrific death
I like how spiders have a running theme. Personally, I can’t stand them either.
What are your religious beliefs?
I believe in a higher power. No specific beliefs but you have control of your own destiny. I don’t believe in a predisposed destiny.
I think I am in the same boat too. I never liked the term, “things happen for a reason”.
Do you believe in evil vs. good?
No.
Interesting…
What is scarier; Blair or Scream?
Blair. The setting is scarier.
Absolutely. Camping has never been so fun since.
Do you think 1970, 1980 or present movies are scarier?
Don’t know. Not exposed
And this is why you are a great canidit.
Alright. So now that I have a pretty good idea of where her mind is at we can start the movie. I must say that I have personally seen it 666 times, and it keeps getting funnier every time I see it. But I doubt she will have the same opinion.
I think I will save you the minute by minute observations I made so I will just sum it up. Now, she is pretty tough and I wasn’t surprised that it didn’t have much of an impact. She did however admit it to being scary and there were a few squeezes and gasps through out the film. That in and of itself made me smile a little. Maybe these “old” movies still got it.
All in all I expected this. It’s not like I was hoping she would stay up for nights on end and trigger a bed-wetting disorder. I expected a few creep out moments and maybe a little trepidation of going to sleep after the credits rolled but nothing more. Like I said, she is very quick witted and well-rounded but what was a life changing in 1973 is not even pulse changing now. I might be bias because I did see this as a little kid and the closet light stayed on until I left for college.
We now live in a society that demands entertainment to have bigger explosions, louder screams, more F bombs, and gorier death scenes while removing thought and deep personal emotion. Perhaps it could be focused on the political front as Americans move toward a secular Euro mindset, slowly nudging religion out of everyday society? Maybe the current news around the country and the world has been so stressing that it tops even the most shocking scenes any movie can produce? Or maybe, and I believe this, that we now live in a time that is so fast paced, every thing needs to be digested in an instant? Whether it’s Tevo-ing The Hills or Twittering the fact you have a headache for thousands to know, we have in fact almost fully removed the brain and imagination from entertainment. If you can’t understand the theme in 1.5 seconds, people will turn to the 1,000 other choices.
Well, since then I have talked with her and it turns out the fact that the film didn’t scare her…scared her. How do you like that twist? It made her question why she was not reflective on her own internal struggle with religion and good and evil. I guess that is a new angle on this old film and it still can creep in your soul without making you hide behind a pillow.
I apologized and said I will be using her again. This time for the movie Who’s Harry Crumb?.
I have unintentionally labeled myself a pontificating mouth around the department. Whether it is giving advise about personal problems that I have no business giving or sharing stories about past military experiences that usually end with “and that’s why you don’t stick your finger in this”, I am now the go-to guy for all non-essential advise and knowledge. Don’t believe me? Well I came onto shift today and found a dry erase board with the title, “Will-dom Of The Day” on it. My job is to write wise sayings, directed by order of the Chief. Me and my big feed hole.
So, I guess I better practice my Will-dom here so you can see what I am passing on to our men and women of the fire service. Be prepared for enlightenment.
If you have a black light throw it away. Unless you want to know how much dander your friends have.
Never trust a guy that 1) shaves his sideburns totally off 2) wears a charmed necklace on the outside of his shirt 3) orders milk with dinner at a fancy restaurant 4) says words “practically” “anyways” and “you know” in every other statement 5) wears a visor upside down and sideways. Actually number five qualifies as a ‘never talk to’.
Most girls will never see eye to eye with guys when it comes to Star Wars, The Godfather movies, watching golf on TV, that beer qualifies as an appetizer, and large malls should only be visited on December 24th. Just accept this, love them for who they are and the things you share and know deep down in your heart, that they are wrong.
Cross dressers are people too. It’s ok to laugh just don’t make eye contact with them when you do it. They don’t follow a guy code and have the prerogative to kick you in the balls.
Like the advice above, if you do feel a laugh coming on, don’t fake a yawn to cover it because it comes across that you are having a stroke and you fool no one.
Don’t be afraid to express yourself. Unless you have a dolphin obsession and feel the need to wear an airbrushed dolphin shirt from your 1989 Daytona Beach trip.
When monkeys attack they go for the face, thumbs and genitals first. Still think Virgil from Project X is cute? Yeah, he is. Him and his alligator.
Try not to make up your own exclamation sayings. Most will never catch on and the shock of the situation will be interrupted by your peers asking, “what the hell did you just say?”. ex.”What the Frippin’ Froop?!?!?” and “Mother Bitch!”.
Golf is not a sport; it’s a game. I am hard pressed to believe a 230 pound fat guy playing golf while eating a hot dog, drinking beer and smoking a cigar is actively engaged in a sport. Anyone one who disagrees with this notion is welcome to a slap contest at 3:00.
I have never heard of anyone beating their loved ones while high on pot. At worst someone probably received an angry hug. Why is it still illegal I ask you?
Why do people put election stickers on their automobiles? How bad would it suck to drive a car with a Gore ’04 sticker on the bumper? I am a firm believer in magnetic bumper signs.
When you fake a phone call to get out of a situation or conversation, always remember to turn the ringer off.
So what do you think? I say the people the fire department a getting sound words of wisdom free of charge. I think this is a promotable service. I am sucking IQ points straight out their heads and they don’t even know it. Mmwa hahahaha!
I trust everyone had a happy and safe Halloween? I hope so because I did. Actually it was the best one yet. Anyway I am going to post a blog that I have been giving great thought about over the years. You see, I am the type of person to really beat a nonsensical notion to death. One of notion is this odd idea I have of the afterlife. I don’t believe that we will be living on clouds with wings and halos because, to be honest, I am far from deserving a halo. But what I am hoping for is an abundance of the Earthly pleasures we enjoy here and now, without the consequences. Here is an example.
I die. Let’s say I am pissing and drying my hair at the same time because I really want to go out in style. Regardless, I cease to live and I find myself on an escalator to the great beyond. (I do believe there is an escalator of some sort) Once I get to where I am going there will be a door. That door will have a sliding eye-hole and behind it is a guy who asks for the password. (I hope it’s a cartoon ape, I hope it’s a cartoon ape) And some how I know it. I don’t know how I know it, but I do.
Now this idea I have is so wacky that I think many religions are started this way so if you watch CNN in a few years and see me in a compound, you can say you knew me when. Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, so the password will determine whether you get in or go to Hell. In my world, Hell is standing for an eternity on the waiting list for IHOP on a Sunday morning. So be good for goodness sake!
Of course I will say the right one. And beyond the door will be a smoke free English pub with every TV on VH1 Classic, ESPN Classic Bowling 1979-’84, Alf, DOG The Bounty Hunter, and To Catch A Predator (We can poke fun of the people that will be waiting at IHOP forever). I will have a seat at the bar and the seat to my right will be vacant. When I ask the bartender (who is Ernie Pantusso from Cheers) what is new, he will know my name and my drink and say, “Will, it hasn’t been the same without you”. Then he will hand me a menu.
The menu is a list of everyone I have ever wanted to meet and have a drink with. All I have to do is pick a name and they will stroll up, have a seat next to me and order a drink. And then I can strike up a conversation and ask all the questions I have ever wanted to know and listen to the stories that I have always wanted to hear. That would be Heaven for me. Good drink, good conversation and Coach as my bartender. These are my picks for my first day in heaven.
“Romell, you magnificent bastard, I read your BOOOOOK!” God, I would love to hang out with George C. Scott. That guy was one of the greatest actors of our time. Can you imagine the stories this guy had? The parties of Hollywood elite when it was good to be elite. Today the Hollywood elite is equivalent to a dump in a Smucker’s jar but back then, that was acting. And I think our conversation would be quite intriguing.
I wonder what his drink of choice would be? I peg him for a Dwars and a splash guy. In his later years he wasn’t the pillar of health so I imagine that Dwars to be accompanied by a fine cigar and a plate of cream cheese finger sandwiches. I know that my Heaven pub is smoke free but it’s freakin’ George C. Scott, man! Even in the afterlife there are exceptions.
Keith Moon! Can this guy party or what? If you are unfamiliar with Keith, he was the late drummer of The Who, who set the standard on how to be a reckless partying rock star. If there was alcohol, he drank it. If there was something to be snorted, he sniffed it. If there was a hotel room to be destroyed, he not only destroyed the room but the entire hotel. In fact the Holiday Inn still has a ban on The Who today.
He and I would drink a few shots and I would ask him about diving into an empty swimming pool as we have a laugh. To be in the presence of the guy who named Led Zeppelin, inspired Beatle songs, the first to use on stage pyrotechnics, and beyond all else his work with The Who would be fascinating. Now that is a slice of fried gold! Oh yeah, did you know Keith died in the same room Mama Cass from The Mamas and the Papas died in? She didn’t really die choking on a ham sandwich, did she?
As for Keith’s drink I bet that he would drink……everything. And chase it with a bar mat strained shot. For those unfamiliar with that it’s all the spilled alcohol that is collected at the end of the night. I call it a “OH MY FUCKING HELL WHY WOULD YOU DRINK THAT” shot.
“Well in the words of Harry S. Truman, if it’s too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook.” I would love to hang out for a few hours Archie Bunker. Not Carroll O’Connor but the character Archie. Hey, when I’m dead and gone I believe this will be possible. I also believe I will drink with Hobbes too so go with me on this one.
The real reason I want to rock out with Archie is so he can call me a Meathead. Is that so wrong to want to be called a Meathead from an American icon? I don’t think so and if I’m good all year, put out cookies and leave a thank you note by the chimney, I think it is only fair that I can be accosted by Archie Bunker. Wait…I think I am confused.
This guy! Who wouldn’t like to tip a few back with Ted Knight? Especially when he does his “Pigs In Space” voice which I am sure would come out right after our third Bullshot. Oh! And ol’ Billy Barool! “Oh Billy Billy Billy Billy Billy.” I say this to myself every time I’m in an odd predicament.
John Candy. Oh geeze. If there is one person I would want to hang around for a while it would be John Candy. I was so sad when he passed away and even today I have a hard time watching certain scenes in his movies. Especially this one:
Ho man! Every time that part of the movie comes, depending on the company, I have to go to the kitchen or do push ups. Something! It’s pathetic to see a grown man whimper over a John Hughes movie.
Well, I bet we would have a blast! He’d reenact that classic scene in Uncle Buck when he flips a quarter to that principal and told her to have a rat chew that thing off her face. Uncle Melanoma head. We’d finish a bottle or two and toss some darts. Oh yeah, that aint purgatory!
The man, the legend. Bernie Mac is definition of cool for me. God, I still can’t believe he is not here with us. But I have faith I will be able to shake his hand someday. And you know what? This is one dude I don’t mind hogging the Holy Jukebox.
I imagine he would be sipping a snifter of VSO and chewing on a Cuban. Me? I would be chugging a Pabst Blue and catching Goldfish crackers in my mouth. And we could be completely happy with that. Damn, I miss Bernie Mac.
I know I am not alone on this one. Who wouldn’t want to spend some quality time with George Carlin? Who? I bet it would be a one sided conversation because I wouldn’t even know where to begin. He seemed like the type that could carry on without much of topic. I doubt he would get old but I could see myself wondering, “I wonder if Gallagher is dead?”
So that is my list. But don’t get me wrong, when I kick the bucket my first priority will still be spending eternity with loved ones. Like how I presume I will be going to Heaven?
Don’t worry! I won’t be buying the big dirt box condo yet. You are stuck with me and my gibberish for your reading-at-work pleasure. Hey! Why are you reading this at work anyway? 😉
Priorities and where they are.
You need to be with people who get you. To be able to accept someone through faults, imperfections and quirky little peccadilloes with no thoughts of selfish gains is what life should be about. It’s tough to put your honest self out there and minuscule imperfections weigh heavy on people you care about. That’s a great sign to pack the car and head for better abodes. Life is too short for that.
See? Life is short and every time you think it’s hard or dull remember, there are people who see it end every single second of the day. I saw this video the other day and it brought me right back to Bosnia and other war experiences I have had. These images change you and they should. Good people in your life understand that and are sensitive to it. These images should invoke passion about ending violence or at least touch something in you other that chalking it up to a buzz-kill. Be with those who know and care where you have been. RIP Neda.
The man, the legend. Bernie Mac is definition of cool for me. God, I still can’t believe he is not here with us. But I have faith I will be able to shake his hand someday. And you know what? This is one dude I don’t mind hogging the Holy Jukebox.
I know I am not alone on this one. Who wouldn’t want to spend some quality time with George Carlin? Who? I bet it would be a one sided conversation because I wouldn’t even know where to begin. He seemed like the type that could carry on without much of topic. I doubt he would get old but I could see myself wondering, “I wonder if Gallagher is dead?”
Casserole of Disaster 