I Need A List

Of pure joy and happiness. Let’s see….

New shoe smell
Season one through five of the Simpson’s.
Drinking Perrier outside after a long, hard run.
Chinese food at midnight
Connecting with people even though you have never met them in person
Noticing Malcolm In The Middle is now on Nick@Nite.
Moving the fuck off this goshdarn mountain.

Priorities and where they are.
Being read to sleep. Still love it.
Playing Cat Stevens on guitar and singing in private. In private.
Finding out by our fire engine has a touch of Optimus Prime in it.

Throwing down a business card and saying “no…you call me”. I’m kidding. Or am I? No, I am. Maybe.
A few of my favorite things.
Finally having a clean car because I am moving off this fucking mountain!
Reading Calvin and Hobbes at age 31.

Living in a town of higher learning. (I’m a liberal guy at heart)
Coming to the resolution that I can not count down the days of my life but rather appreciate the one I’m on. No more working for the weekend.
Organic almonds. I swear they taste 10x better. Maybe it’s the organic spray?
Finding the perfect coffee shop with free WiFi. Fuck Starbucks. Fuck…Starbucks.
This dog

Went running the other day and spotted two girls taking my picture with their cellphones. That’s a little creepy but come on, how can one not like that?
College town art in small businesses.
Door knockers. Just dig ’em. It’s a lost art that I really want to bring back.

My many, many good friends. Wow am I blessed.
oh! And this Macy’s Day Parade review from Matt. It just does the trick sometimes.
And of course people who read my nonsense. you are awesome. Yeah, you right there.

July 15, 2009 39

Learned Something

Did you know those plastic thingies on the end of your shoelaces are called aglets? I didn’t but now I do.

Thanks shoe dude at Sports Authority. I am now a richer person for knowing this.

July 6, 2009 29

Dirt Napping

Man, what a month it has been! Can you believe in just a couple of weeks we have seen not one but four celebrities pass away? I know a couple were circling the drain but the other two, wow, out of nowhere. Well, let’s give them a shout out.

Ed McMahon lived the life, didn’t he? He always struck me as a guy who liked his drinks a particular way as well as his women. I could be wrong but neckerchiefs and gold bracelets never lie. At 86 one would say that’s a good long run but I did feel a little bad about his homes going into foreclosure right before he died. I think Donald Trump bailed him out but still, that sucks something fierce at that age with the legacy he had. I hope he is up in heaven having a bullshot with Phil Hartman.

I think we all knew Farrah’s time was soon but still, an icon like this going down is still hard to swallow.( That sounded dirty and I am sorry.) Even as a young kid I remember looking at this exact poster in my Uncle Brett’s room and thinking, “I don’t know what is happening but I like it.” She blazed the trail by empowering women to embrace their beauty and use it rather than feel ashamed and hide it. At least that’s how I perceived her intentions. Her passing really brings to light the fact that cancer is terrifying and no matter who you are or what status you hold, it can still get you even after years of battle.

Ok, I did not see this one coming. Not at all. I know he lived a life of mystery and bizarre behavior to include a total face transplant, having a monkey, living in Neverland, napping with kids and naming his kid Blanket but I never imagined him passing so young. I remember when Thriller came out and that video terrified me as a kid. Those monsters were far more scary and disturbing than any rated R movie at the time. I can still close my eyes and think of Vincent Price’s part in the song and walking at a fast pace to my parents room for a safe night of slumber in their bed.

I will be honest, the man was a genius. He seemed to defy gravity when dancing and his albums were nothing less than perfection. I have yet to meet a person that didn’t like something he did. I bet even the Taliban has a little love in their hearts for Moon Walker.

As Scooby Doo would say, “Rut the Ruck?” Billy Mays died? Are you serious? I have always had a fascination with the man and it wasn’t for his ability to sell you shit you would not normally buy on TV but rather his high decibel voice. The man had no indoor voice and I wrote about that almost two years ago. You can find that here. Well Billy, I am sorry you were silenced so early. Your voice will forever be in my head saying, “Billy Mays here!”.

You know what else died? My favorite bar in Idaho. It is true, my home away from home is gone forever. I know that including a bar in a blog about dead people is a little insensitive but I really feel like I lost a lot of friends.

When I moved to Idaho I knew no one. I mean really no one at all. I was living out of a hotel until I could find a place to live and my only real means of social interaction was the gym and the local pub next door called Paddy’s 2. That very day I first stepped in there I was taken under-wing by the bartender, met a nice lady would allowed me to to stay in her basement until I found myself a permanent pad and went on to forge many friendships that I still have today. It is sad when such an establishment goes under and you have only memories. And with a bar they are usually foggy ones.

Happy trails, Dougie. Until we meet again.

On a happier note, you are looking at, er, reading at(?) the proud member of probably the last 100% VHS rental store in America. Yup, it just proves that Idaho is still hanging in the 80’s. Of course I rented Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The ‘Burbs because that is how they were intended to be seen. Oh VCR don’t fail me now, we have work to do.

Oh, and somehow I caught pink eye. Jokes on me.

June 29, 2009 40

Perspective And Inspiration

I don’t know how it happens but every so often in life I stray off the path and get a little lost. I lose the big picture and the priority of people who should mean the most. I basically lose my map on where to go from here.

Sure there are my own theories for these times of discombobulation but one has to ask, why? Am I running toward something or running away? What are my true fears in life; failing or being alone? Is there really something more to all this?

I guess I am just reaching for perspective and inspiration.

I sent this poem to a dear friend of mine. These immortal words were written by the ALS warrior, Jon Blais. I keep this poem in my wallet and read it whenever I need to center my thoughts.

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living,
I want to know what you paid for.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are,
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams,
For the adventure of being a live.

I want to know if you can live with failure,
Yours and mine,
And still shout at the edges of a lake, river or mountain,
Yes, I am a warrior.

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have,
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,
Warry and bruised to the bone,
To do what needs to be done for someone you love,

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
And truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments of your life
And remember me,
Your friend.”

It never ceases to amaze me how people confuse kindness and love for weakness. I guess nice guys do finish last but I didn’t know we were racing. George, you said it best.

“What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other.”

-George Eliot

You need to be with people who get you. To be able to accept someone through faults, imperfections and quirky little peccadilloes with no thoughts of selfish gains is what life should be about. It’s tough to put your honest self out there and minuscule imperfections weigh heavy on people you care about. That’s a great sign to pack the car and head for better abodes. Life is too short for that.

See? Life is short and every time you think it’s hard or dull remember, there are people who see it end every single second of the day. I saw this video the other day and it brought me right back to Bosnia and other war experiences I have had. These images change you and they should. Good people in your life understand that and are sensitive to it. These images should invoke passion about ending violence or at least touch something in you other that chalking it up to a buzz-kill. Be with those who know and care where you have been. RIP Neda.

I guess this post was a little more self absorbed than I wanted it to be. There are times I believe we all stray and need to realign in both body and mind. I do believe that happiness is a choice but man, it’s choice that hides in the most odd places. Judas Priest said you don’t have to be old to be wise. I believe that and strive for it each day. Even on days when I need a nudge from the Blazeman.

This is how I choose to live my life.

Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.
True strength is hard to quantify. It is invisible physically but it shows when it counts and everyone will see it.
Ask for a shoulder and don’t hold back on giving one.
Honesty is never regrettable. It is when people love you for someone who you are not. Be you. God made you and last time I checked He was perfect… or something like that.
Tell people you love them. And do it often.
Don’t dwell on what should have been, concentrate on what can be.
Apathy sucks. Be passionate because it inspires.
Run like you are not planning a return trip. Always look ahead.
Don’t use those around you for gain unless you can give it back to them.
Compassion is why we are alive. Truly, it is the only reason we are breathing right this very minute. So don’t hold back on giving it.
Complacency, rejection and even major hurts happen. Don’t let it harden you and don’t let it weaken you. This too shall pass.
Never drink milk before or after an intense cardio session. They lied. It does a body no good.
Hold out your hand if you need to. Someone will grab it. I believe in that.
Smile at people.
It is true that there are few people that have your best interest in mind. That’s no reason to be a dick.
Never be ashamed of being you and don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just try to do better each day.
Call your parents. And if you can not, pray to them. They love you no matter where they are.
Admit to being wrong and never hold back an apology.
Share.

Ok, that was a preachy list. But I felt I needed to write that. Life is a series of choices. Those are mine. Love ya.

June 23, 2009 32

I Wish…

That Monday night’s NBC line up was still Alf at 8:00 followed by Amazing Stories.
That I could still pick prizes out of the treasure chest in the dentist’s office.
My Honda wasn’t referred to as a mini van last week. It’s an Element fuck-o.
I could stop dropping my phone. It only has a few drops left in it.
I could run like I did when I was 7 rather than this frothing, gasping run I do now.
They would have changed the name asthma to something without the word “ass” in it. I had it when I was a kid and always felt a little embarrassed by that.
That there was something other than golf we could do for meetings. I am all about bumped boats or flip cup.
They would make a Jaws 5. One that makes up for 3 and 4.
I was in a huge field with one of these.

That I lived in a state that had people who could spell salad correctly.

I could eat my weight in Thai food and be better for it. And smarter.
I was spending Father’s Day with my Dad.
I had more time to read books.
I didn’t tear up during the movie, UP. There is no way that a 31 year old male can live that down. My “allergy” didn’t fool anyone.
Beer gave me the super power of flight.