Found A Value In The Village

So, I have been gone for a while. So much has happened I don’t really no where to start. Actually, nothing exciting but between work, traveling and course study, there hasn’t been very much time for yacking on the blog. And I am sorry. BUT, I did manage to find some winning apparel that only you would appreciate. I found it at the Value Village.

img_0320A blog friend of mine made me aware of the infamous Value Village but I believed it only to be of myth. However, on a hunt to find the perfect tacky Christmas sweater for an upcoming party I drove by the sign and it really does exist! I made an illegal u-turn and only killed one person. It’s cool, she was old.

Value Village was everything I had imagined and more. Like any discount clothing stores, the presentation is not the important part. I find that the 3rd grade organization is both endearing and, well, easy for me. I hit my head a few years ago and ever since then I have been a fan of straight forward signage like “Pants” or “Shirts”. Don’t tell me name brands, just tell me what they are. Corn. Unicorn. Unicorn on the cob.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find a sweater worthy enough to rock the Christmas party. The tacky level must be at least a 10 out 10 on the “Nice sweater; Who shot the couch?” scale. But check out the loot I did find!

img_0323T-shirts! Oh I am a sucker for odd t-shirts and I found the mother load! Here is the first one. It’s a peanut. Like I have to explain…

img_0324Looking closer we see this particular peanut is from Spokane. I live about 25 miles from Spokane so I feel I should represent. Plus, the peanut has “nut” tattooed on both arms. If I ever get the balls to have a sleeve done, I will include “nut” somewhere in the mix.

img_03261I guess it’s pretty chick to exploit Jesus for comedic relief nowadays, and to me it gets pretty old. Even if you don’t have a religion, the guy wasn’t that bad. He cured people’s diseases, preached peace and tolerance and oh yeah, he was tortured to death for mankind’s salvation. The jokes on him fall a little short with me. UNLESS, it is done by the religious right themselves. Here we see Jesus Christ advertised like Coke. Really, this shirt makes no sense but it doesn’t have to. It’s Jesus.

img_0327-1I don’t know how I feel about wearing K. Kraut’s shirt but for $0.99, why not?

img_0325I don’t think you can find a shirt like this on purpose. You would probably have to go to a print shop and face the embarrassment of saying you want a shirt reading “it’s all good”. Luckily for me, there is Value Village.

I am a little nervous to wear this. My life is full of ironic events and I am pretty sure that if a die in a catostrophic way like a plane crash or explosion, it will be in a shirt like this. Moving on…

img_0330Holy Hell! A tribute to Dimebag Darrell, the late guitarist from Pantera! Who would ever part ways with such a shirt? Who ever they are, may they get a rash every time “Cowboys From Hell” is on the radio. Regardless, I own it and I am a little saddened that I already met Phil and Rex a few weeks ago and missed the opportunity to rub Darrell in their face. Kittymao knows what I am talking about.

img_0329I had to get this one. One of my best friends is named Vicki. There is no stronger gesture of affection that says you care like wearing your friends name around.

img_03311Yeah, I know it’s tacky but I appreciate the humor. I think I may wear this to work for, you know, the irony of it all. That’s a stretch.

img_0321Yes I bought a Garth Brooks shirt. And yes, I made small talk with the cashier and claimed that I own everyone of his albums. I even turned the bullshit nob up one notch by saying we went fishing ’93. I gave her some made up FYI stuff like he only drinks warm beer and smokes cloves. She was mesmerized.

img_0322It has a back too! The question is where would one wear this? I know I live in North Idaho and I could walk into a grocery and people would compliment me but I make statements. Perhaps I should wear this and no pants? It’s not like I am trying to make Garth Brooks fan friends. Look at this guy! Awkward…

Now here is my favorite shirt. It speaks volumes of what Idaho is to me.

img_0332Animal art shirt! I don’t think there are words to express my feeling when I found this. I think I blurted out a word that infused fuck, God, Oreo, dolphin, and bike. Regardless, I scared a lady in a wheelchair and she made a skid mark trying to clear the aisle. I love this shirt and tonight I wasted no time in donning it. Is it as cool as I think it is?

img_0335Oh yeah. That’s where it’s at.

27 thoughts on “Found A Value In The Village

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  1. “I think I blurted out a word that infused fuck, God, Oreo, dolphin, and bike.”

    I had missed you. (smile)

    Welcome back and welcome all those fine fine T-shirts into the life and madness of team Billy.

    For whatever reason, that peanut one is really speaking to me. The marshmallows are delightfully sadistic and the animal art with the beard has a mountain-man sort of magic to it…

    Glad “Chez V V” worked out so well for you.

    Missed you too! You know, the Peanut spoke to me too. I think that’s why we get along. Peanuts speak to us.

  2. Hoho! That shirt with the marshmallow dudes is hilarious. I want it now! TO AMAZON!

    Hazard, like I said, I didn’t appreciate it near as much as I do now. Thanks to you guys!

  3. Holy shit…’s even sexier than I had ever imagined. Fucking wolves…….I’m dying. Muuaaahhhhh!

    Sexy. I can dig it!

  4. The marshmallow shirt is available from hipster t-shirt websites like Noisebot. I’m surprised you found it at Value Village.

    That last picture could be in the dictionary next to “shit-eating grin”.

    Glad you’re back.

    I’ve been smiling like this for a day now. I’m getting some beers after work tonight and this will be rocked. I pray people will get the joke.

  5. Hey, my best friend’s name is Victoria…I need that Vic shirt to give her for her birthday! Awesome finds!

    I have so many blogs to catch up on. You are first.

  6. It’s true. Peanuts just get me. Cashews are, I think, better conversationalists in general but have a tendency to be a bit esoteric… In general I’d say that Almonds definitely think they are better than us. Whatever the next Walnut you meet says about me, just don’t you believe it – that hammer wasn’t mine – and the last time I tried to talk to a Brazil nut it just got ugly so….. Yeah, peanuts are definitely my type. Maybe it’s cuz they grow in the ground and not a tree? More earthy?

    I love how you classified the nuts. You are right. Almonds; who do you think you are?

  7. Holy crap I love them all! Like you, I love t-shirts with odd things written on them. The peanut one is my favorite I think. My best friend lives there and that would be totally awesome to have in her honor. Nice finds!

    If you ever come to Spokane and don’t let me know I will be curt to you via internet. Very curt.

  8. At first I thought I was in love with the Peanut t-shirt, but then I fell madly in love with the marshallows roasting “one of their own” t-shirt..HAHAHA….cruel cannibalism, I love it! 🙂

    I didn’t really put too much thought into the marshmallow shirt until you said that. And now I think I love it a bit more. 😉

  9. This was awesome. I can’t believe the Value you found! Shine on Darrell, shine on.

    Shine on indeed. Shine on.

  10. Dime… My brother in law has that shirt! Practically lives in it.

    And indeed, may the fiend who let it go loose get him some nasty hemmorhoids.

    I find the peanut shirt pretty hip too. I like the jesus one, but the NAME ON THE COLLAR skeeves me out somethign fierce. That one’s all you.

    You know, I think I may cut out the picture on Kruas’s shirt and sew it on the back of a jean jacket. What do you think?

  11. Wow, too many good ones to choose a favorite! I’m leaning toward “It’s all good.” Simple, unpretentious, elegant, understated. I want an “I love lamp” shirt. Be on the lookout, would ‘ya?

    If I find it, I promise I will mail it to you.

  12. I think you know this about me by now but I love thrift stores. I really do. Most of the experience is just seeing what they have but I would never buy. I also love things that are so random (like that peanut shirt) that it probably has an in depth back story that if you did a little research online you could figure it out.

    One thing I don’t like is at least the Goodwill I go to has shirts and jackets that look like they are part of a uniform. I have an awful feeling that people go into thrift stores and buy those to do some awful criminal acts. Not just on the premise of those jobs but acting like they work for UPS or some shit and go and knock on people’s doors. I read a fictional story once where a guy bought a red polo shirt and a pair of khakis to a woman’s house saying he was a pizza delivery guy. Well I am not going to tell you what happened 🙂 I do have a shirt that the delivery guys wear that work for Coke. The grey one with the white pin stripes. I think it’s cool but I don’t wear it. Maybe I should someday.

    I hate most country music but I love Garth Brooks. I think I told you that before. Yes I did. In the early 90’s my oldest sister had a concert tape of his and we rewatched it so many times. If I ever got one of his shirts which I doubt I would it would be from that time.

    The last time I went to Goodwill a couple of weeks ago I saw a bed sheet that was black with stars and planets with I think a horse or some other animal and I thought I bet Bill would love that!! lol!! That wilderness shirt looks really good on you. I usually see older women wear shirts like that. Even though I think I see men wear shirts like that but with Elk on them.

  13. Nice haul! That must be the “wolf-art” t-shirt you were telling me about. Now I see why you thought of me when you bought it…oh wait. Nope. Nope, I still don’t see it.

    Now, if you’d landed a shirt with a giant roll of shiny tape on it that said something like “Nerds do it too. They just do it with duct tape…”, THEN I could see the connection.

  14. I type all that shit and I still have more to say lol. I am so glad you love my long ass comments. You can get shirts on cafepress that you can type pretty much anything you want on them. They aren’t embroidered like that one appears to be it’s just printed. I have an online friend that bought a shirt from them that was white with pink letters that says I’m just sayin’ because she says that all the time. Just the thought of you having a shirt like that makes me smile. I love the silly stupid grin you have on your face in the picture you took. I have that same grin on my face during certain things. Like watching Cute with Chris every Monday.

    This is a video that I adore. I have watched it so many times. It’s Nikki and Ross going tacky Christmas shopping last year. They started at the salvation army but then went to JC Penney and found what they were looking for.

    Everyone should watch this. It is awesome times a billion. Everyone should subscribe to him.

  15. Yay! Glad you’re back. I was starting to think you had forgotten about us.

    The photo of you with the wolf shirt is eerily familiar. My fiance received a similar wolf t-shirt for Christmas last year, and I have a photo of him with the exact same expression on his face. I think he loves that thing more than he loves me. If you find yourself in possession of such a shirt, and if you have a lucky lady, be sure to make it clear to her where your affections truly lie.

    By the by, I’m digging the beard.

  16. Marshmellow shirt is FTW.

    I used to wear wolf shirts and sweaters like mad when I was in middle school. I was the only one and thought I was being really original and cool. I absolutely loved them, and not in a funny ironic way. I don’t know if I was just ahead of the curve or weird, but I still stand by it.

    Man, I SO want to have a tacky Christams sweater party, but unfortunately my friends aren’t near as cool as you, so no one would actually show up.

    Buncha losers.

  17. I adore those tshirts! I adore fun tshirts in general. Unforch I was looking at one that said “IT’S MOTHERFUCKING BOOZE TIME!” but it was sold out. Maybe a good thing, because it might encourage me to drink away my rent check. And don’t you love getting good stuff for .99? I got a whole sweater once (as opposed to the less popular half-a-sweaters). We’ve got Honest Eds here in Toronto – it doesn’t always have funky tshirts like that (but I do believe there are some Value Villages still around, or failing that, the Goodwill ‘Buy the Pound’ outlet where you can buy clothes by the pound) but you can get Value Village prices on pretty much everything else. Like kites and meat grinders and pick-axes, oh my!


    Do you get to pick your pound?

    Or is it like a bag of stuff and you kind of look through the pre-made bag, trying to see the contents without tearing it open?

    I used to do that at thrift stores… be all like… “well, three shitty toys and two okay toys- ah, the crap to gold ratio isn’t worth it” and look through another baggie.

    Cause if I could pick a pound of awesome T-Shirts… dood… just…

    that would be… Awesome.

  19. I’m slightly jealous of that last shirt… it looks like something you’d pick up in New Mexico at a rest stop.

    I just went to an ugly sweater party.. but I decided to go to Goodwill day of… around 4 p.m. Bad decision! Everyone from WSU and U of I was there attempting to find the ugliest sweater. We did luck out and find a sweater that had a pony on it, and its mane and tail were both made of yarn. It was quite fantastic. However, this older women saw friends carrying it around and went to ask if they were actually going to purchase it. She seemed genuinely interested. She was probably going to give it to her granddaughter who loves horses and dreams of living on a farm in Moscow, ID. haha— long story short we felt guilty and decided to give the older women the sweater. Stupid conscious!

    In the end, my sweater wasn’t too atrocious. But it wasn’t appealing. It was 2x.. I wore it as a dress. Classy, I know- you don’t have to tell me. 🙂

  20. I dunno about wearing thrift store stuff….unless its like super awesome designer stuff, like Armani or seven for all man kind or true religion….otherwise I dunno.

    That Garth Brooks shirt made me smile. My Aunt and Uncle saw him back in 92…and had the sweat shirts. I love me some Garth. I had a Taszmanian Devil shirt with him dressed like Garth. it was awesome!

Speak to me, Egor.

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