FLTO: Taco Bell Sriracha Taco

My great pal, Brian from Review The World, shot me a message informing me that Taco Bell has a limited item featuring three burritos with varying level of heat. Now I haven’t been to a Taco Bell since I don’t know when but I have heard when it comes to spicy food, they actually keep the heat real. Also, I use the term “food” loosely. It’s probably healthier to eat a handful of Legos.

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Called the Dare Devil, these are chipotle, habanero and the dreaded ghost pepper burritos and I knew I had to follow-up the ghost pepper fries with this. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) these have not made it to North Carolina. So, I had to rely on the lame-o limited time Sriracha taco to review on this rainy Saturday afternoon. I waited almost twenty minutes in the drive thru so I need to get something out of that adventure.

Imagine a regular taco with Sriracha sauce on it. There you go! Good night folks!

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It’s actually a little more interesting than just that. I was on the fence with a taco and an asian spicy sauce because I’ve never gotten why sriracha is such a popular thing. Other than the witty Oatmeal cartoons, it’s always been a ‘meh’ condiment to me. But, surprisingly, it compliments a shitty taco pretty well. Maybe that was the secret to bring Sriracha around for me.

I’ll still keep an eye out for the mysterious ghost pepper Dare Devil Grillers or whatever they are called. They will definitely be reviewed and added to the FLTO section because I need to have gastro-disastro and remember it forever. There are more than a few benefits to having a blog about stupid things.

I need to at least get 300 words and now I almost have. Done!

Epic Bars. Epic Failure

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Holy cats, I am back! Can you believe it? I can’t. Anyway, a few months back I had the crew over for a fun weekend full of horror movies, beers and food challenges. It is a rare thing to have a group of people who all nerd-out over the same things. You know Ben, Brian and Dave (DJ D). They have been on here before.

On this episode of “what were we thinking”, Ben introduced us to Epic Bars; the bars made of grass-fed, organic, paleo friendly, gluten-free beef and turkey. Let’s just say we had a time trying these bars. A trying time.

The beef Epic bar was the first taste test and wait until you hear our opinions. Watch and learn!

Next we try the Turkey Epic bar. While not quite as offensive as the beef, it still brought fear and panic. It’s a wonder how as you chew these bars, they become dryer leading to a dissolving dust. This one also led to the hashtag, “Gone Full Franklin”.

Watch and be entertained by our contorted faces and repeated thoughts of poop.

So there you have it. If you want to be paleo/gluten-free/organic/grass-fed/low glycemic/humane then prepare to eat bars that have already been digested. But take my advice, just eat a steak.

RtW, Ben and Two Pickled Eggs

I am finally posting videos of the most excellent visit from Ben (Juggernaut Cave), Brian (Review the World) and Dave DJ D (Retro Ghouls and Shocks). We had an awesome weekend full of beer, movies and outings which led to a life full of fantastic memories. A man is only rich through the people he shares company with. I am very wealthy.

In the first episode, Ben and Brian just came in and I take no time in trying to kill them with pickled eggs. Have you ever had pickled eggs? Since moving to NC, I see them in every convenient store, bar and grocery store and I finally tried one a few years ago. Since that day, I kept my opinions to myself in hope that I can trick people into eating them on video. This visit, my hopes came to fruition.

Watch and laugh. Oh yeah, the squealing girl has a story too. TOAD!

Skyline Chili With Review the World

Some time ago I was wandering aimlessly through the frozen food selection of the grocery store and happened upon something curious. It was what I thought to be a box of frozen spaghetti but a closer look revealed it to be chili. Chili topped spaghetti. And cheese. It took me aback just to comprehend such a mix and I immediately tweeted my findings. Then it hit me. Skyline Chili from Cincinnati? Who do I know from that area?

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Why it is none other that the famous Brian from Review the World and he happens to be very familiar with Skyline Chili and the numerous different ways it can be served. I learned much and am richer for it. Here are our takes on the chili; me with the frozen selection and Brian with the original fresh. Let’s see what Cincinnati chili is all about!

Sorry my freezer looks like a disaster. There are many packages of lima beans.

Dollar Store Challenge

It’s all downhill from here, folks. I have finally been able to participate in a joint project with the two of the greatest bloggers, writers and just all around good people; Matt from Dinosaur Dracula (former X-Entertainment) and Brian from Review the World. In comparison, I really don’t belong but Matt and Brian were cool enough to let me in on this great idea. I feel kind of like the kid brother who gets to tag along with his older brother and friends for a boat ride. Then a shark shows up and they get stranded on Cable Junction until Dad comes and electrocutes the shark. What? Where was I?

Anyway, we decided on a $5 limit for a shopping spree to the local Dollar Store/Tree/Mart. From there we would bring our findings home and in real-time, post a video reviewing our prized finds. I knew from the beginning that Matt and Brian’s would be spectacular. And they are.

Brian from Review the World! It is absolutely impossible to watch anything that Brian does and not instantly be in a better mood. His attitude and positivity makes this planet that much better to be on. Spend the day watching some of his past adventures. You’ll love ’em.

Matt from Dinosaur Dracula! He’s the star, no doubt. His videos are about the damn funniest eight minutes on the entire internet. His sincerity and hilarious view-point is something that can not be matched. I try and fail miserably…often. Get lost over at Dinosaur Dracula. It’s a great place to be!

Dippy me!

I am so flattered to be apart of this. I have been a fan of Matt and Brian for years and the chance to work (not really work) with them is cooler to me than fishing with Robert DeNiro. Please take time to watch their videos and join the DinoDrac community. Amazing people over there.

It’s nice to have awesome friends like those guys.

Thanks for stopping by!

It’s A Cheap Cat Christmas Countdown!

It took me a whole day to post this horrible video on Youtube and between that and WordPress failing me again with their awful Videopress that I paid mucho dinero for, it’s truly a Christmas miracle that I didn’t set fire to a Walgreens.

I told myself the day that my videos would be about cat ornaments it was time to take up fire-hangliding. Well, that day has arrived because for $1.79, there was no way “FUBAR” the cat was not coming home with me. In addition to a random cat ornament I also received quite a lot of trivia about the cat species on the back of his box. Go ahead and ask me how many teeth a cat has. Go ahead!

So, here is the video and I love how through the whole thing I failed to notice the top of my head is cut off. Whatever, my videos are always a bit dumb. Okay, very dumb.

Cheap Christmas Countdown: Day 9

Brian rules. Let’s get that out-of-the-way.

Okay, so this is kind of a lame one for the beginning of the “Cheap Christmas Countdown” but I can assure you this is worth it. If you require light, heat, and fragrance then you require a Yankee candle. Well, at least fragrance.

I was at Big Lots the other day and I stumbled on the candle section and I knew this had to be reviewed. Partly because I had just recently bought a $30 Yankee candle and wanted to make sure I wasn’t stupid for spending that amount just to pretend I am in a forest.

Oh boy, the generic candles went right for the holiday throat and waxed the season into a “Winter Spruce” candle! Sorry for the doodling, I didn’t think about the backdrop when I took this.

The big difference between this Big Lots candle and a Yankee candle is $26…at first glance. I also bought Happy Gilmore for $4.99 on DVD the same day and I know I paid over $20 for that movie in 1998. Why is this relevant? Well, these type of stores sell on the premiss that one man’s junk is another’s treasure. Shooter McGavern eats shit for breakfast and I bought a candle. Vagina-boob.

Shut up.

So let’s test this candle! I never expect much from any candle not Yankee because to me, Yankee candles are the Jelly Belly of all “smell-stuff”. They can mimic any fragrance known to man so I am grateful Spencer’s Gifts hasn’t bought significant stock and have a line of “Sweaty Emo Girl” and “1998 Saturn Seat” to plague studio apartments across the globe.

I had no other way to test this other than lighting the candle and leaving it in the guest bathroom for an hour.

Smelled like a $4.00 candle. No trace of pine or winter spruce. It didn’t smell bad but the indifference was the offense.

I hate it. I hate it worse that my toilet won’t stop running now that I sat on the top part of it from the picture above. I also need to confess I was out with my coworkers and may have had a bit much to drink. Is this where I confess? I guess. I need to go punch the top of the toilet. I think that is what people do.

CHECK IN FOR THE NEXT REVIEW OVER AT REVIEW THE WORLD!!!!

 

10 Days Of Cheap Christmas With RtW!!!

So it begins.

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Brian from Review the World and I have created a joint project where we bring you a ten day countdown for cheap ways to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. I have been a huge fan of Brian’s site for years so this is a great thing for me. Please click the cat and read Day 1 of the countdown and tomorrow ( really late tonight) check back here for my review!

This will be fun. SO HAVE FUN, DAMN IT!

CLICK ON TOMO THE CAT!

 

The Halloween That Wasn’t

This year Halloween fell a bit flat. I had such grand plans and a few of them actually came to fruition but life in my field of work doesn’t heed the spooky season need. But I will say that the bright spots really shown even though I failed at turning them into quirky blog posts. Let me share with you:

  • Spent the night in a couple haunted hotels. While I didn’t bump into a restless specter I did find out that my “sleep number” is 32.
  • Drank at least 100 pumpkin ales and I really have become so fond of these beverages that I might shed a tear when they are off the shelves until next late August.
  • I have seen Halloween 5 at least 5 times and Pet Semetery 2 at least 20. I think AMC has an agreement with the directors of these two movies because that is the only reason they air these abortions so often.
  • We did carve a pumpkin! It was the first time I used those sticker-trace thinks that you buy in the singular Halloween aisle at the grocery store. First time and last time.
  • Bought eight different varieties of pumpkin shaped candy this year. They tasted the same as the originals even though they were pumpkin shaped. Disappointment.
  • Found great new Halloween websites like Freddy In Space, 3-D Monster, and of course the launch of Dinosaur Dracula and Matt’s always amazing ‘Halloween Countdown”. Truly a marvel to be enjoyed by all. 
  • Went to an amazing Halloween party with some of my favorite people in the world. And we watched horrible VHS all night and the commentary is better than any episode of Mystery Science Theatre.
  • Finally was able to send Halloween goodies to Tim and Brian for the “Brain and Tim Show” over at Review the World TV. We got to see Tim eat an entire pack of Goulaid pack sans water. 

So tonight, on Halloween, I am supposed to go to a friend’s house to pass out candy but with a tsunami of work due tomorrow I think tonight will be spent on the couch with laptop on lap, The Great Pumpkin on TV, and a few Snikers down the gullet. It’s an end to the 2012 Halloween season and it wasn’t so bad. I’ll still dress up though.

This year I’m going as an asshole.

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