Are you ready for the summer?
Are you ready for the good times?
Are you ready for the birds and bees,
The apple trees,
And a whole lot of fooling’ around.
–Meatballs
Summer is here ladies and gentlemen so apply that sunblock, put on the shades and kick back at the pool taking short breaks to yell “no running” every few minutes to kids you don’t know. It’s a fun little game I like to call “getting to not know your neighbors”.
Above all the great sweating that you will probably do this season, we are gifted with a couple new limited time only sodas from the great people over at Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew and…Taco Bell. I’ll explain in a minute.
Ba-Boom! I present to you the summer edition of Mt. Dew Baja Blast and Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float, both cans which scream beach balls and top-of-feet-sunburn. The quiet rumblings on Twitter were only confirmed when I was running into the grocery store for sandwich bags only to be stopped dead in my tracks by a tower of mixed twelve packs accompanied by beach chairs and Banana Boat lotions. I walked out two twelve packs richer and no sandwich bags. I still need sandwich bags. Shit.
That is the color of paradise, no? It quite honestly is a Crayola Fiji and if that’s not a thing, I think they should jump on that. Mt. Dew Baja Blast was originally a Taco Bell exclusive and the only way to drink it was when you demanded to have diarrhea at 2am. By that I mean, the only way to get a Baja Blast Dew was dining in or out of a Taco Bell. Since summer hit across the US, we are now safely able to consume Baja Blast minus a blast.
As far as taste goes, I really don’t have a good barometer for Mt. Dew since the sugar and caffeine are turned up to eleven, it all is the same to this 36-year-old. However, if I shut my eyes just at first sip, my brain conjures up tropical fruit snacks from the late eighties. That with a hint of soap. The color far outweighs the soapy after taste so if you can push the thoughts of Dial out of your mind, this drink should be your go-to thirst quencher.
Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float? Sure, why not since there are other variations of the Dr. Pepper like Cherry Dr. Pepper, Diet Cherry Dr.Pepper, 10 Calorie Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper, Double Diet Semi-Cherry 10 Calorie Dr. Pepper and so on. The Vanilla Float, as far as I know, doesn’t have a third cousin.
This one left a little to be desired. I like Dr. Pepper. I like vanilla floats. But a strange thing happens when you combine them. Have you ever heard that if you put a wooden spoon on top of a boiling pot it prevents the contents from boiling over? (Seriously, it works) Kind of the same thing. These two flavors take the carbonation out of the drink within seconds. I don’t get it, but damn if it doesn’t flatten faster than a dog sneeze. It’s fast. The flavor is exactly what you would expect; sweet vanilla with sweeter Dr. Pepper. It’s sweet.
The real bonus is the can itself. I’m a sucker for the packaging and this can is what makes summer in the grand ol’ USA great. I know, it’s nothing more than clip art but what the hell, I love it so much I reserved a can for my soda collection. I just started that odd collection last year which makes this my fifth can. At this rate, I should have enough for a case by forty-five. And at forty-five, having a soda collection should solidify my single lifestyle. No woman in her right mind would stand for closet full of expired soda. Or maybe she would be the best woman in the world? Hmm, new standards forming.
So, there you have it! We have started out summer in high gear with two great summer beverages or at least one great soda color and another great soda can. You can’t expect to have your cake and throw it too.
If you want to find out first hand about Baja Blast, my boy Brian from Reviewtheworld.com was able acquire a cup through questionable motives. 😉 Watch and have fun.
Holy shit this is a great movie! Sure the more sophisticated summer movie connoisseur would pick Caddy Shack if given the choice of Bill Murray movies but there is something about camp that gets me in the summer mood. It kind of sucks that I am too old even to be a counselor but it brings back so many great memories. Memories like late night practical jokes on other cabins, the nervous tension of being forced to spend a week bunking with kids you don’t know, the sadness of the last campfire, and how we all thought the counselors were so cool and the subject of camp rumors and gossip. I still remember thinking that a blow job was something done to an ear. I want that innocence back.
Rumor has it this kid was in mid-stream when this picture was taken. That’s a lie, but it kind of looks that way, huh? Anyway, I grew up in a neighborhood that didn’t have a community pool so we were forced to jump through the sprinklers or breakout what my Dad called the “yard killer”; the kiddie pool. I remember these plastic pools from K-Mart to be as much fun as they look above. Even for an only child who had an imagination that could keep him entertained for an eternity during Catholic mass, this pool, with floating pine needles and drowned yellow jackets, really sucked. Especially when you have a friend over and the suck is multiplied by two. Ugh! I can still smell the hose water and see the pool toys that were just fancy McDonald Happy Meal boxes in the shape of boats.
The next step up is being invited to the friend’s neighborhood pool. That’s an exciting summer day.
Wow…sharks and minos, underwater tea parties, chicken, handstands, cannonballs, jackknives, and of course my famous 1/3 flip off the diving board. That’s always good for a laugh. I also remember the packed lunch and how Hi-C, peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos and Sunkist Fun Fruits never tasted so good. I tried it the other day and it just isn’t the same without chlorine and uncontrollable shivering.
First off, it’s a place I generally drink beer and read. Those are the two things I didn’t do when I was a kid. Also I rarely go into the water because it is usually occupied by 12 year olds and that age group really pisses me off in recreational environments. It’s just a great time to catch up with a good book, drink a dozen beers and sweat them out while working on a one-sided tan because I hate laying on my stomach. I can never get comfortable. Are you suppose to stick your face between the chair straps?
Anything that comes in one of these is great. If it is served by this guy it will be a minor explosion of amazing.
Pasta salad is the must at all outdoor activities that includes food. If I am present at a picnic and the is no pasta salad expect me to remove the picnic blanket and use it as a cape as I run around and step on the rest of the food. Expect it.
Couple of dogs and a beer. It’s hard to imagine lips, assholes and yeast to be a summer must but it is. Especially at a weekday 1pm Cubbies game when you skip work to go. “Heyyy batta batta, sawingg batta!! He can’t hit he Can’t hit he can’t hit…”
Quarter sliced watermelon that is wrapped in Reynold’s Wrap. Don’t know why but this is summer to me. But every time I eat watermelon I get a dull pain in my tongue from a watermelon eating race gone bad back in 1985. I remember I bit my tongue and lost the race. As I sat there in failure, holding ice wrapped in a paper towel on my tongue, I was awarded a “nice try” gift. It was bubbles. Insult!
Do I really need to expand on this one? It’s part of the reason the Earth tilts on it’s axis, you know. But remember, if you see Megadeth this summer, leave the laser pointer at home. See below. I’m pretty sure the guy in the audience is no longer with us.
Casserole of Disaster 