Category: Random

Top 10 Movie Scenes

Everyone has their all time favorite movie scenes and I am no different. The other day I was in a deep discussion with a not-so-deep person. The subject of favorite movies came up and I sat there while she listed 27 Dresses, Pretty Woman, Titanic, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, ect… Some of those movies were not a surprise to me but when I listed mine she gave me a look that seemed to say, “that’s sad that you are a geek”. When I recognized the look I asked her what are her favorite scenes from the movies. To that, she didn’t know. All she knew was that the films were pleasing as a whole and that is as deep as she got. So I gave her a look that said, “oh, that is sad she is retarded”.

Loved by many as well as hated by many, the movie Clifford really went down as one of my favorites because of one particular scene. Martin Short plays Clifford, a mischievous 10 year old that is on a quest to go to Dino-World and in doing so, upends his uncle’s (Charles Grodin) life as he knows it. The scene that put this movie on the top ten list is when his uncle (Grodin) asks Clifford to look like a normal person for one minute. Martin Short’s attempt is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. I do this impression when ever I am asked to look at someone when they are talking. Please watch and enjoy. (Is it just me, or does Charles Grodin’s head look weird in that picture above?)

Twilight Zone The Movie caused me to lose my faith in cartoons. It was all because of the chapter about a boy with telekinetic powers who kept his family hostage and slave to his every want and need. That is until he lured a kind hearted woman to his home. The scene that propelled this movie to the 10 list is when his imagination took form in real, not CG, special effects that scared the shit out of me. Even today I get the willies when I see these things. This trumps any scary thing in my nightmares and the folks can thank a hike in their power bill from the hall light being left on thanks to the Twilight Zone.

The “Brownie Incident” in the movie The ‘Burbs will always be etched in my mind as being way too funny for the intended purpose. I have a hard time watching this in public because I wheeze when I see that scene. It can be embarrassing but more times than not, the laughter is contagious and it is cause to rewind and play over and over again. On another note, anything that I drop will always be followed by a “I dropped the goddamn (insert item here)!”

I love this movie. I always have and believe it or not I first saw it on a Catholic retreat weekend in the 80’s. I believe the first scene when Carolann has a conversation with the “TV people” was not only creepy but it was a subtle chill that I deem next to Godliness. Spielberg has a knack for that. He really is underrated, wouldn’t you agree? Plus, the Metro Goldwyn, Mayer lion will forever be the intro, in my mind, to the National Anthem.

Oh the classic! National Lampoon’s Vacation was the greatest film to me and my dad. I couldn’t find the exact clip but when Clark (Chevy Chase) returns from his trek through the desert, I must say, it went down in history as the quote of quotes. “Hey kids, ya’ thirsty?!?!?” Most people don;t find that scene as the pinnacle of the movie but boy I do. Here’s a compilation of one of my favorites and lately, one of TBS’s.

In case you are wondering this is the glorious soundtrack to the movie Iron Eagle. I can pick a few great scenes out but nothing compares to the testing range when Doug says, “Damn it Chappy, I’m doing it my way!” If you haven’t seen this flick you should. Only in the 80’s could there be a film about a kid who steals an Air Force jet from, I don’t know…California, fly to Iran in a few hours, bomb the bag of dicks back to the stone age, rescue the father, fly home and be rewarded by an appointment to the Air Force Academy.  Pure genius.

Definitely less fun than the other movies but still I had to include it. The Exorcist was one of those movies that I had seen from the safety of the banister rails when the folks thought I was safe in bed. Little did they know I was scarring myself for years. One of those scenes that did the job was Father Carras’s first dialog with the already possessed Reagan. I can’t tell you why, but I believe this is the scariest thing on American film.

I have a real tough time watching the beginning scene of Saving Private Ryan without shedding a tear. I can’t describe it and I don’t think there are words that could. Please watch.

I love this scene from the movie, There’s Something About Mary, because as many of you know, it’s personal. There are things that are far worse than stepping in dog poop and tracking it in the date’s house. It is hard to pick a scene that is the best from this movie. Every thing from warren’s flip out to the 7 minute abs scene I think this one was strictly by default. The only testicle shot to be seen in the theater that didn’t include bums and extra napkins.

Last but no least we come to the greatest cinema scene to me. This one is shared by many and I believe it to be some of the greatest acting in the world. If the shark wasn’t scary enough the audience gets chilled to the bone by Quint’s tales of how terrifying being eaten alive is. I have read the book and I believe Robert Shaw did it justice.

So that is the top 10. I bet next week it will change but for now, there you go.

Bonus! The worst scene!

Tim Cappello!

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Showbiz Pizza And The Rock-Afire Explosion

I believe Showbiz Pizza for me as a child was much like an opium tent for Ralph Dunning. When I was there time flew by so fast because it was like a system overload. It was just too much for a 7 year old to digest when placed in an environment that had pizza, video games (they were new back then), a pool of plastic balls, skee-ball, and tickets to trade for things like this. There was, however, an animatronic band that I was less than enthused about. The Rock-Afire Explosion.

I can remember a specific birthday party and sitting at the table closest to the stage. While all the kids were busy drinking cups of suicide soda and shoving pizza in their face I was keeping a suspicious eye on the animatronic rock band. Perhaps I was too close to the stage because I heard less music and more of hydraulic hissings and the metallic hurks and jerks. The smell of the electronic heat from the cyborg-like apes and bears over powered the smell of pizza and sweaty kid. After the ten minute show was over and the curtain closed, curiosity over powered me and I crept to the stage to peer behind the curtain to make sure they weren’t taking a five minute smoke break. But what I saw was just eerie.

Behind the curtain the band stood silent with their eyes open, staring straight a head at the closed curtain. The dim lighting and the motionlessness of the characters gave me an uneasy feeling much like sleeping in a room with a three foot doll. In the background the sounds of screaming kids and the bells and whistles of the games were heard but I was fixed on the duality of life and death represented between what happens when the curtain opens and closes. Then it happened.

Before the curtain opens the band starts to move. While I was deep in thought about the eeriness of the lifeless band the hydraulics kicked in with the “pfffftts, screeeeee, weeeng” and they began to move. I can’t recall how it happened but before I knew it I found myself in the ball-pit with my shoes on. This terrified me to no extent and I didn’t even mind getting yelled at for wearing my Keds a “no shoe zone”. For the rest of the day I stayed close to the front, skipping the birthday cake and present opening. At the end I grabbed my parting gift bag and was all too happy to leave.

That night I had a terrible nightmare that Fatz Geronimo, the ape keyboardist, jumped over his keyboard and chased me around Showbiz.

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Insanity Has A Face: 2

I don’t know if many of you have read my first post about the much beloved Norma Lee so here is a refresher. Many moons ago I was a working stiff that spent at least three hours a day in Atlanta traffic. To pass the time and keep my sanity there was a morning radio show called The Regular Guys on 96 Rock. Every so often they would hit a home run with musical guests but none quite as unique as Norma Lee. From the very first note she sang, she had my heart. It may sound as if I am making fun but really I do have a lot of respect for her ability to be who she is. I present to you again, Norma Lee.

Norma starts off playing us a tune written and produced by Barney. Who Barney is we are left to wonder but regardless, it’s catchy and yes, I did hum along. There isn’t a congruent theme but I was able to take a couple of key points. One, Norma doesn’t have freckles. She claims sandpaper works better than cow manure at removing them but if you want my advice I would opt to stay out of the sun. Two, don’t spit on the worms, because you might get germs. But then there is a contradiction. Right after her song she claims it attracts more fish. I’m confused. So, do you spit on the worms or not?

I really like the multiple themes in the Norma Lee Show. This one starts by providing us a quick guide to healthy dental hygiene. I can’t lie, when she began talking about baking soda I thought she said bacon soda. Is it wrong that I made that assumption? Well, after the lesson on how to brush and floss she sings us the song, “Honey, You Married Me,” thanks to the help of the producer. Is it me, or did that song make you a little sad? I hope that wasn’t about Mr. Lee.

Wait a minute. Didn’t we just get advice on how to maintain healthy teeth and gums from Norma Lee? And now we find out Norma doesn’t even have teeth? I feel like I was just sold shoes from an amputee. Whatever. I ain’t mad at ya’ Norma. The University of Kentucky would be lucky to have you. I dig your offensive skills but you might want to take a look at your face paint. The “K” is backwards.

I think this one may be my favorite. It’s not because of the pantyhose over Norma’s head or the attempt of humor, but we get a quick shot behind the scenes of the Norma Lee Show. At the end Norma takes off the hose and gives a gesture as if to say “Good enough?”. It makes you wonder who is the creative mastermind, Norma or whoever is behind the camera? I hope it is all Norma because this would be very creepy.

If you look closely you can see Harley the dog blink in morse code, “S-P-C-A”. Am I the only one that had to stand up and scream, “give him the dang nab cookie!”? I doubt it. That was a little embarrassing since I was at work, though.

I can’t express how happy the Norma Lee Show makes me. She is a free spirit in every sense of the expression and I hope that one day she can come back to Atlanta to play live. Reading some of the comments on YouTube it’s apparent there are some rude assholes in the world but never you mind them, Norma. Keep singing and know there are fans everywhere you turn. God Bless ya.

Make sure to send her some love on her website. I leave you with this.

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Things I Know To Be True

  • I’m a 10CC, Seals and Crofts, and Gary Wright fan. Deal with it.
  • I love bad horror movies and I force them on my friends.  They hate me for that.
  • I’m cocky when it comes to cinema history, rock/metal history, military history, darts, beer drinking, flying and project management issues. Everything else, I am a little intimidated by.
  • Given the choice of style, I always go with the style of ’73.
  • I snore but if I roll over, I stop.
  • I’m a shoe freak, thanks to a certain someone.
  • The best live show I have ever seen was Foreigner. I know, I still can’t believe it. They rocked.
  • “Drive”by the Cars is the greatest make out song of all time.
  • I’d rather eat hamburgers than anything else.
  • Every time I go to the beach I sing “Take On Me” by Ah HA.         No idea.
  • I hate eating in public.
  • I spent 6 years in the military and spend everyday in guilt for not being back active.
  • I like naps, but hate waking up sweaty with something stuck to my face.
  • Two tattoos. Used to have two pierced nipples. Don’t judge me.
  • I am closer to Dad than Mom. I feel bad but it is what it is.
  • The prettiest thing I have ever heard is Vicki’s singing voice.
  • I get freaked out when I stand next to skyscrapers. I tend to crouch.
  • I think Dick Ducommun is the coolest person in the world.
  • My metal roots were planted by Heart
  • My turn offs are ignorance, racism, and sexism. You’ll never recover from that with me.
  • I love golf but don’t like the people who play it. Story to come later.
  • Wine makes me randy, beer makes me drunk and liquor makes me “that guy”.
  • I have seen What About Bob three hundred times and it keeps getting funnier, every time I see it.
  • The bend of the arm and knee and that soft part of the neck gives me the willies.
  • I like wallpaper over paint.
  • I have been arrested.  It was dropped but I still have a mugshot. It was over a traffic ticket that I paid but was never, I don’t know, sent to the magic land of driver license ticket already paid file. I hate them all.
  • I met Kevin Costner. When we met he said “I won’t sign an autograph but I’ll let you shake my hand.” My college roommate said, “Bullshit…you can shake mine.” I always looked up to that dude.
  • I will get into “Sex In The City” kicking and screaming. It is inevitable but I am giving the good fight. Sarah J. Parker does look like a foot.
  • I want what I can’t have.
  • I have been awake for the sunrise hundreds of times. I want to see it someday.
  • Lacey is turning 27 this weekend.
  • I used to throw a perfect spiral. It’s gone.
  • Kids who go to bed hungry make me stay awake at night.
  • I fart on escalators on purpose.
  • I tend to confuse escalators and elevators.
  • I miss my grandmother on my Dad’s side and my Granddad on my mom’s.
  • I think spinach was found to be edible on accident.
  • I want to be a dad
  • I don’t like to be touched by people I don’t know.
  • I’m waiting for the mustache to come back.
  • I want my best friend to know I am sorry.
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Decline Of My Civilization: Part 1

This is a shitty intro to this post. Here are some of my favorite songs from an era when I had pajamas with feet and slept with the hall light on.

There is something about true British names that I dig. XTC’s “Making Plans For Nigel” has been one of my all time favorites for years. Between the drums on phase effect and the over simplified guitar riffs it is hard not to hum this for everyone to enjoy. I do it a lot in the office. If I ever have kids I think the first born male will be Nigel. I’d raise him completely oblivious to his English name so when asked if he is from Great Britain he will roll his eyes and say, “no idiot, I’m from Georgia.”

God I love The Buzzcocks. I bought my first Buzzcock album in ’88 when forced to decide between that and Queen; Live At Wembly. It was a good choice because this song “Every body’s Happy Nowadays” was the theme of that summer. When most kids were rocking Beastie Boys and Winger I was forming my roots as a British Punk fan for life. I finally saw The Buzzcocks in’04 and I’ll be honest, Pete Shelly didn’t age as well as others. They still ruled though.

Gang Of Four can be tough for many to take. Personally I think they are brilliant and this song “He’d Send In The Army” was featured on the documentary Decline of Western Civilization: Part 1. I can best describe Gang Of Four as if someone swallowed a hand full of Alphabits, threw them back up and then tried to read what they spelled out. I attribute Radioheads success to what Gang Of Four started.

The Jam is the most underrated band in the United States. They were pretty big in the UK but for some reason they never really impacted the States like they should have. Paul Weller is my favorite front man and if you ever read his lyrics it is pure poetry. Bruce Foxton on base, well, listen and try to argue he isn’t the greatest post punk era bassist ever. His master of the base even makes up for his mullet.

Hang the DJ D! Just kidding pal. I am a Smith’s fan all the way but sometimes there can be too much Morrissey. I listen to “Panic” and it takes me back to 1996, sitting on the steps of the Cotton Club in Atlanta between shows smoking Camels and drawing pen art on my Doc Martins. Oh, I need to pick up smoking again.

The Godfathers really broke it down with the song “Birth School Work Death”. I think if I was ever to be in a band it would be like The Godfathers. They save money to produce amazing albums by only budgeting $100 for the videos. There is no need to be flashy when the band already kicks ass. Axel Rose missed that lesson. (Ok, you are going to have to look this one up on YouTube. Apparently the guy who posted this didn’t want to share. And I think he may be in the band. Get a life, man. I already bought your albums and now I’m kissing your coin purse. Take the compliment. Double negative.)

Midnight Oil are angry Aussie’s aren’t they? Actually it’s mostly the singer, Peter Garrett who, for the longest time as a child, I mistook for Michael Berryman. And please watch the full video to see Garrett’s dance moves. He dances just like my Great Uncle Mel, except Uncle Mel wasn’t dancing. He was having a seizure at a family reunion. It took the full song of the Electric Slide before we knew he wasn’t dancing at all. (That story is slightly exaggerated. I forgot what the song was.)

See? Very similar.

It’s true. I have had and have a huge thing for Kim Deal. I would love to be sung to sleep to “Gigantic” while I have my head petted. Somehow I think Kim would probably just lick her finger, stick it in my ear and spit in my eye. A guy can dream I suppose. The Pixies are never more than a CD case away on road trips. I even have a tattered Pixie t-shirt that has been banned by many a friend. I wear it proudly as I drink beer……alone. Sad Panda.

The Misfits are mostest bestest thing that ever happened to a skinny, bifocal-ed, themed sweater wearing nerd in middle school. To others I may have been little Billy but in my heart I was Glenn. “Astro Zomies” was on repeat in my head and one fateful day a few lines slipped out and was quickly recognized by the metal loving ostracized kid of the sixth grade. Soon we were like peas and carrots and out went the themed sweaters. Being a Misfit’s fan does have it’s advantages, right Kittymao?

Well, that is part one of my decline of civilization. I hope there are a few songs you like and maybe some you have never heard. It is true that many people believe I am a music snob. I don’t believe that. Unless you ask me about Shania Twain. Then I may get angry. You wouldn’t like me if I was angry…

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