Category: Random

I Have a Question

It has been a little bit of a hiatus since my last post here on the 2013 Halloween Countdown and I am so sorry for that. Work is one of those inescapable plagues of adulthood that sucks creativity away and replaces it with money. The great conundrum of life. But do not be troubled, I am back and full of Halloween vigor.

I’ll be right back with a very scary recap of a killer show from the late 1980’s and 90’s which had Halloween episodes few can rival. It is close to my heart and I dreamed of someone like Matt doing a recap but requests like that can be annoying so I figured it should at least be attempted by me. Hint: He has a felony record for drugs.

Hope all is going well and I will have this up soon. Until then, I need a question answered. What was the one scene in a movie or TV show that turned you into someone who loves the spooky side of life? Me, it is a tie between the original trailer to The Creepshow and the librarian in the movie Ghostbusters.

I remember the trailer more than the movie we saw in 1982. It was Empire Strikes Back but the only true memory I have is the horrific grim reaper peering through a bedroom window at the beginning and it has haunted my nights so much so that I still sleep with the blinds closed. Today it’s just out of habit.

The Ghostbuster’s librarian just made me piss the theater seat. I can’t rationalize it but for some reason in 1984, I was under the odd assumption that Ghostbusters was a movie about a motorcycle gang. I guess that’s how a six-year-old’s brain works, or at least how mine did. I never claimed to be bright as a child.

So, I have a clear memory sitting in my seat, completely terrified when books started floating and those damn New York library lions accompanied by the icon opening theme, but when the free-floating vaporous apparition transformed into a demon-monkey, trauma set in and I have never been the same since. I love demon-monkey for that.

So, what was your turning moment? We all have them so lay it on me! Comment below, on Twitter or on the Facebook page which I KNOW YOU ARE ALL FOLLOWING.

 

16

Mystery and My Nostalgia

I think a few people might share my memory of this PBS show, Mystery. I remember watching the McNeil/Lehrer News Hour with my Dad every night and at some point into the programing came a show which had an intro that mesmerized me. I was just a little kid but the animation was so spooky, it has never left my mind.

The show, which was a British drama, always disappointed me. I am sure it was a fine program but that animated intro hooked me into thinking the whole show was this eerie black and white cartoon. But no, it was a foggy lens British drama that lost my attention faster than a book about the women’s suffrage movement of the 1920’s. I was eight.

It’s fun to look at Edward Gorey’s art now. Not as creepy now that I am an old dude but I love the style. And when I was at work people thought I was watching porno thanks to the moaning lady. That’s a sex sound which would be a deal breaker.

Do you remember this? If so, tell me!

6

I Bought Death. He Was A Bargain.

Last night I went on a Halloween hunt for anything that the stores are willing to put out for this, the first week of September, 2013AD. It is hard to have much luck here in Winston-Salem because it seems anything new first appears in larger cities. I have been eying the loot my buddies like Molly and Cliff (Holidaze) with envy. But yesterday I hit gold. Fifty dollar gold but still gold, none the less. I bought Death.

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I was shopping at CVS earlier in the day for something. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what it was because when I strolled down a meek Halloween display I saw this huge box, boasting it’s a $90 value for only $49.99. A six-foot Grim Reaper that was a bargain too?!?! How can one not? But I was still in a suit and leaving out of a CVS during the work day carrying a $50 grim reaper was not in the cards. So I left to change and come back. I’m weird about such things.

 

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I bought the big bastard and proudly marched it out of the CVS while passing snickering customers and clerks. I don’t care. Such joy is oblivious to “normals”. I had a six-foot pillar of death and I found him at a drug store. Everything is right about that and no one can take that from us.

When I got him home I couldn’t take the time to take the dogs out because I was too excited to construct this guy. They would have to hold it a little while. But when I opened the box and saw this mess of bones, pipes and wires, I got their leashes out. This would be a process.

 

 

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What’s the movie where a ball of mess comes crashing through a window and it slowly morphs to a terrific monster? Is it Bram Stoker’s Dracula? I don’t think it is but it’s close. Regardless, this is what this ball of mess on the office bed looked like. (Damn that’s a dumb filler)

EDIT: It was the original Salem’s Lot!

By the time I had this all straightened out I was more confused than when I had begun. You might ask, “Will/Bill, where are the directions?” And I would answer, “Rump roast”.

I don’t read directions.

 

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But I will say, this was a bit confusing to get to the skull and see a giant spring sticking out the back. I almost was about to drill a whole in the wall and have a bouncing skull for my “wall of dread” that makes so many guests uncomfortable, but we are so close, why deviate from the goal now?

 

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The body was just a bunch of tubes with a large electronic shoulder/torso that is constantly twisted in a death shroud. I hate fabric and trying to untangle it. That’s why I don’t sail. But with patience and perseverance, it started to take shape.

 

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I figured out that the spring goes directly into the shoulder-hole, giving the head a constant bounce or “bobble-head” look like the box advertised. It didn’t seem like it would work but now that the head is one, this creature of death is most agreeable. He even likes my shirt no matter how I posed the question. Always a yes-man, I guess.

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Finally! Oh wow, that is great. I now know how the father in The Christmas Story felt when looking at his major award for mind power. I just want to sit and Instagram him holding various items and signs like the shaming photos of dogs. “I ate a pillow and pooped in the hallway.” That could not do anything except gain friendship around the world.

So that is how I put him together but what else does Grim do? He moves and talks! I found this out while trying to find the “on” switch and simultaneously connecting the skull wires. It was a surprise which caused me to somehow miracle myself into the den. He’s really loud.

I’m just going to have to show you a video. Words can fail when describing such things.

He says quite a bit more when you set him to “sound activated” but when you press his hand, it’s only the one line. That’s okay with me. I love him no matter what he says.

Wow, when viewing this little video I found my missing Powerade!

 

 

6

Spooky North Carolina: The Devil’s Tramping Ground

Welcome to my first web series, “Spooky North Carolina”, for the Halloween Countdown here at VeggieMacabre. This has been an ongoing project that has tried and failed for a couple of years but not this time. I have finally managed to go to enough places, include enough people and get the proper equipment to make this a success that I hope can continue for Halloween seasons to come.

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The first episode we go to the infamous, Devil’s Tramping Ground, located in Chathum County, NC.  Just about everyone around this state knows about the spot where the Devil himself is said to appear and walk the Earth. It is a perfect circle about 30 feet in diameter with absolutely no vegetation within the circumference.

Well, most would ask, what is the big deal? There are ton’s of lawns that have that problem.

True but it is a pretty strange to have a spot that is surrounded by plenty of vegetation right up to a perfect circle. Many believe it’s a true vortex rather than the Devil’s thinking spot which is very odd and has been documented for hundreds of years, baffling scientists and attracting plenty who worship the occult.

Over all, it’s a fun urban legend whether you believe or not.

Enjoy!

 

3

I Love The Smell Of Fall In The Morning

It’s a tough time of the season when you want all of the Halloween stuff out right now but most retailers (looking at you Target) are more concerned with backpacks and *enter boy band here* covered Trapperkeepers. It’s a tease. We are at the 10:20am mark before the menu switches and everyone is fully committed, so you have to kinda take what you get until then. That’s why this morning I am writing about smells of the demonic. Or maybe just Fall.

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Searching Target in vain for anything spooky I settled on their mild nod to the season in the Fall scent aisle. They have a few purely Fall titled sprays between Glade and good ol’ Febreze. If you are not into spays because you think the Ozone still has a sunroof, don’t worry your hippy hair, they make them all in both candles and plug-ins. I picked up the sprays because I need a limited example of each. I can’t smell up each room in my house for this review.

Actually, that would have been pretty cool. Double Shits!

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First on the list we have “Salted Caramel” from Glade, an SC Johnson product. At first glance I thought this to be both amazing and totally Halloween. At first smell, however, I thought this was more “Midnight Cowboy” from CVS. It’s a heavy scent that really doesn’t leave one area. By that I mean there is no permeation but a solid mass that waits for unsuspecting people to walk through it, sticking to their face like a spider web or swarm of mosquitos. You won’t get it out of the back of your throat no matter how many pumpkin beers you gargle with.

The description states it has a “…pop of salty and sweet caramel fragrance.” which is odd. I have smelled sweet things but I can’t recall an account of smelling salty things. Maybe the ocean. I don’t know. C-.

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Switching from candy to leaves, Febrese Air Effects has a their “Falling Leaves” limited edition spray. I was immediately attracted to this for some reason. I think it is just specific memories of cool mornings walking home from a Friday night bash, smelling the wet leaves and cursing the 6am Saturday runners. It’s a distant memory but still an effective one.

But this can does not capture that olfactory sense at all. I think they captured Great Aunt Ann rather than anything Fall. You know the smell; make-up and sixty year old perfume? Yeah, you do. This is another air spray that is better suited to kill any offensive oder by masking it with a different but equally offensive oder. It smells and hangs heavy in the air like an invisible bag of piss, waiting for an unsuspecting passer-by who will most likely have their mouth open. D.

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Here is another SC Johnson product from Glade and this is interesting. “Hayride”? I never knew a Hayride was an attractive smell. If memory serves me right it’s a mix of allergic attack and either horse poop or tractor exhaust depending on which mode of pull the farm chooses. It’s like their “Salted Caramel” idea, I just hope it’s not executed the same.

I like it! It’s really interesting and it does remind me of a Fall scene. It’s not quiet Hayride but it smells a lot like the first day of school. I can’t explain it but taking a huff off this can I am walking into Mt. Bethel Elementary with a backpack larger than my torso and velcro shoes. It’s really incredible! I love it and this is going in the den rather than the last two who are banished to the bathrooms. A-. (The minus is only because it’s not Hayride. That might be a good thing.)

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Finally we come to another Glade spray and while this one isn’t original what so ever, I do believe my saturated nose will enjoy this. “Orchard Apple Cinnamon” can not not smell amazing. It just can’t!

Oh wow. Wow that smells a lot like one of those 365 days a year Christmas shops. When I take a whiff from this I am surrounded by thirty fake and tacky Christmas trees with tacky decor while fat tourists wearing fanny packs slowly meander through the narrow aisles eating soft serve out of a cup. THIS IS NOT HALLOWEEN! WAIT YOUR TURN SPRAY! C. (Will be an A when November first arrives.)

So there you have it. None of these scream Halloween and only one really has something to be proud of. Go to Target and spray these around to see..er…smell for yourself. I am fairly certain “Hayride” will be in your cart. The other three can be used to kill spiders.

Sorry the countdown hasn’t been totally wheels up since my job is not sympathetic to my demon worshiping self but hang on, shit’s about to get real.

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OH! And guess who started their Halloween Countdown? Matt from Dinosaur Dracula started his chainsaw and it’s amazing. Please go there now. NOW! (Click the header)

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