Category: movies

Where Did You Go? Part 17: Return of the Living Dead

Holy cats! It’s been a bit since I have done one of these and to be honest, I kind of miss searching out obscure actors that only matter to me and seeing what they are up to today? I hope no one has died since I have been writing these though. I hate editing, as you can tell from hundreds of poorly written posts. So lets light some fires and kick some poodles, it’s time for another fun ride on the ever lasting blog of…

As you can see I am trying to be more creative with my look. Is it working for you? Oh…be quiet.

I am going to start this little gem off with Miguel A. Nunez Jr. because he has always been one of my favorites and whenever I am flipping through the five million channels and I see him, I stop. Even if it happens to be Juwanna Mann. 

Miguel has been in a lot of movies and television shows since the early eighties. And when I say a lot, I mean he rivals the IMDb list of guest appearances on Murder She Wrote. But of all these television shows and movies, Miguel had mostly minor roles or at best a secondary character that made only a few episodes as “tough guy #2” or “rough punk” so it seemed he had a bit of a type cast issue until, really, his three-year running with the Vietnam War series, Tour of Duty in the mid-eighties as SGT Marcus Taylor and his starring role as Juwanna Mann in the movie Juwanna Mann. But of all these minor roles he will always be Demon in Friday the 13th: Part 5 and Spider in the ever famous and personal favorite, Return of the Living Dead.

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So what is Miguel up to nowadays? To be honest, it looks like he is doing the same thing he has been doing for the past thirty years and that is cranking out roles and minor appearances in television shows with the latest one in 20012. What can you say? The guy’s a pro and clearly one of my all time favorites. Miguel has also produced a few films like Homeboys In Outer Space (not to be confused with his role in leprechaun 4: In Space which he was in too) and even directed a film. Like I said, he’s a pro!

I will say there is no actor out there with a better list of character names. Here are a few:

JoJo, Biscuit, Blackie, Demon, Spider, Sticks, Royal Jackson, Juwanna Man, Chico, C, Delicious, Tiger, Mo Bitches, Maxey Sparks, Goldie, and Jammin’.

While we are on a theme involving Return of the Living Dead, why not include an actor who has helped me annoy anyone around when I watch a ridiculous movie that is “based on a true story” because I tend to yell “YOU MEAN THE MOVIE LIED?!?!”. Thanks to this guy, Thom Mathews, I have had a plenty of guacamole tossed my way.

Thom is an American born actor who I believe was intended to be named Tom but is appears his parents had a lisp. Thom grew up in LA and it seemed natural that a good-looking kid would end up in the Hollywood trade and he had some pretty amazing roles. And by amazing that means I think they are amazing. I also thing hanging tomato gardens are amazing so take that with a grain of salt.

Thom will always be Freddy, the kid who is poisoned with noxious military gas that turns most anything into a brain-craving zombie in the film,  Return of the Living Dead and also as an adult Tommy Garvis who is tormented by Jason in Friday the 13th: Part 6. Both roles make him a legend to me. But after that he seemed to just have minor roles like Miguel Nunez Jr through the rest of the eighties, nineties and his latest role was in 2009.

Don’t you dare laugh

Thom is a lot like many horror actors of twenty to thirty years ago and that he appears in horror cons and sci-fi cons, keeping one foot in Hollywood and the other in his private life. In the real world he is the owner of a construction company in California. His looks are still there though a bit more debonair because we guys can age well. (That last sentence was a filler) I am curious to see if he is still best buddies with George Clooney that is boasted on most data sites about him. It seems George is the kind of guy that would forget the people who were there on the way up. Either that or it’s just me hating him.

You know what? Fuck it. Let’s run with this theme since there are soooo many awesome people in Return of the Living Dead. Linnea Quigley is absolutely wonderful for many reasons. The most notable one is her character Trash who fantasizes about being felt-up to death by old men and finally strips into a full nude scene in ROTLD. (Sorry, that became repetitive to type). Little did Trash know that is exactly what would happen to her. It’s an awesome character who annoys her boyfriend, Suicide, into stating another great line, “you think this is a fucking costume? This is a way of life!”. But Linnea had other great characters besides Trash and went on to become quite the “scream queen” of that 80’s horror genre.

Growing up in Davenport, Iowa, she moved to LA in the late 1970’s and quickly started into her sexploitation role by becoming a Playboy Flasher Girl and blending into a horror scream queen character starting with Silent Night, Deadly Night and then ROTLD. After that it seemed her path was clear and some of her films after that were Sorority Babes in the Slimerball Bowl-O-Rama, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Night of the Demons, Blood Church, and Spring Break Massacre. One of my personal favorites is a horror workout video from 1990 and wouldn’t you know it, it’s available on YouTube but I have to warn you it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!! BE WARNED. But it is awesome.

Well what is the Scream Queen of my dreams up to today?

Well, Quigley is still being awesome and acting as a scream queen. I love that ! In fact she has three films in post-production right now that should be released in DVD format this year (2013). It’s so refreshing to see someone love what they do and still do it well, even though it has been thirty years of screaming and being slashed by chainsaw wielding zombies. It’s truly what I consider a master of their craft. I think I’m in love.

So the green hand is pointing to the great actor, John Philbin, whose character is the nerdy hipster, Chuck, who couldn’t get laid in a female prison with a fist full of pardons. Growing up his role was easily over-looked with so many other prominent characters but as I learn about him as a grownup (take that lightly) I see he was also a pro surfer and I believe on the set he was anything but a nerd.

His list of movie roles are much like the others which are not really a main character but as a co-starring character. ROTLD was not his first horror movie but his second with Children of the Corn coming in just a year before. Fast forward a couple of years later and John got to imitate real life as a surfer in films like North Shore and Point Break. He also was a cowboy in a personal favorite of mine, Tombstone. I think he is killed in the OK Corral shootout but I could be wrong. Wait, or was he hit over the head with a pistol handle by Sam Elliott? Either way, that’s a pretty cool resume boost.

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John still acts from time to time and if you pay attention you might see him in a random Law and Order show or an episode of SVU…what ever that means. But the coolest thing is John lives in Pacific Palisades California today and runs a surfing school. He’s doing exactly what he loves and does it well. Oh, and when he was at UC Santa Barbra he was on their surf team. THEY HAVE SURF TEAMS IN COLLEGE??? WHY DID I GO TO MARYLAND?!?!

I think I will end this on a high but low note. Suicide is an iconic punk character in ROTLD and everyone loves him. With classic lines like “You think this is a fuckin’ costume? This is a way of life.” and “Hey, fuck you, ballbuster!”, how can one not? Played by actor Mark Venturini, he was like the missing member of the Misfits. He also, like Thom Mathews, was in Friday the 13th: Part 6 as some psycho who was chopping wood but ends up chopping up a retarded fat kid over a chocolate bar. I really liked that scene. Maybe a bit too much?

Kind of a bummer but there are no current pictures or information about Mark because at the age of 35 he passed away from Leukemia. Way too soon for such a great talent. I hate finding out the death of such a great actor that I have been quoting since I was in high school but that is part of writing “where did they go?”. Sometimes you find out sad news.

Thanks for reading part 17 that ended up having a Return of the Living Dead theme. It wasn’t planned but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. Now go watch it! I am.

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The Shining Of The East Coast

I have been walking around my living room jumping up and down and swinging knockout blows in air because for the life of me I can not figure this new Panasonic camera out to download movies to iMovie. Apparently there are a million ways to do it and I am the only guy who believes in magical conversion. I have no patience I guess so until I get the video that I wanted to put on here, I present to you a crappy slideshow with fuzzy pictures from an iPhone of the Grove Park hotel located in Asheville, North Carolina. Enjoy!

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It’s the Great Pumpkin Board Game

Recently my parents returned from a long vacation in Italy. Every time they take these trips I get the pleasure of not only hearing about the adventure but they bring me back something nice, no matter how I insist that they do not need so. Regardless, I do like having neat little items from around the globe so I can impress the three visitors I get a year.

This year they brought me back a hand-carved chess set that is so beautiful, I am nervous to even display it. (Visitor #2 is a shifty one. He’s a dog) But when I put it together, I knew it needed to have a permanent spot on the coffee table. And then it dawned on me; I have never learned how to place chess.

Well, not knowing exactly how to play is the first issue. The second is that I am by myself. I did manage to get the gist of the game thanks to YouTube and an animated frog playing a rabbit but I still didn’t quite grasp the game well enough to play myself. It’s a battle of wits, math and the ability to think three moves ahead in an ancient simulated battle between armies and when it comes down to it, I live in America: the inventor of the…

A-bomb!

No, I need something a bit more my standard and with the Halloween season well underway, what better time to break out a board game to challenge my multiple personalities. I present to you “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” board game for ages five and up.

Now anyone who knows me or has ever read this blog will know my true love for all things Great Pumpkin. It really is a nostalgic link that I share with my Dad and no matter what is going on in life, when The Great Pumpkin is on ABC that last week of October, I am there. So, it is no mystery why I would choose to review this, rather than battle an imaginary Big Blue over chess. LET THE GAMES BEGIN, BLOCKHEAD!

Alright, let’s see what we gots. There are eight characters which upon closer inspection are really only four because the others are in costume. I’ll cover that in a second. Also there is a stack of cards, a spinner-thing and the board itself. Here are the rules:

“The game is to get your character in costume and be the first to return back to the pumpkin patch to tell Linus he is a retard when the Great Pumpkin doesn’t show up.”

I have to admit, it is a pretty neat looking board. I may just hang this on the wall if I end up beating myself. And looking a little closer I see Snoopy’s brother Spike. It’s nice he paid a visit from his home in Needles, California. Know how I know that? From Dad. I still can’t believe I even remember that detail.

The cards dictate the fate of the characters or at least how quickly they can get in their costume and get back to the pumpkin patch. The various cards are: one invitation to the Halloween party (the mother of all cards and the character goes right into costume), twenty candy (collect five and change to costume), seven quaaludes (to spike the punch at the Halloween party), and seven rocks (draw one and the character surrenders a candy card).

Hrm…apparently the quaalude card is really quarters. You can use this card to either spin again or buy candy from another character. Quaaludes would have been more fun but this is a kids’ game.

And a waaaaaay we go! Spin the wheel around and around, where it lands…nobody…round…I hate rhyming. Anyway, Charlie Brown is in a race with Snoopy, Lucy and Sally to change into costume, trick r treat and be the first to meet Linus back at his most sincere pumpkin patch. Who will win? I don’t know because they are being moved by my alter egos; Phil, Gil,and Jill. I am Bill. And Bill will always root for Charlie.

The first few minutes of the game were a bit frustrating because we all landed on the “move back one space” and drew rocks. Then we all drew candy. It seemed a bit redundant and it occurred to me that Gil never shuffled the deck! I would have but I can’t shuffle. Take a look.

So after that shuffle method of “pick up off the floor” we again resumed play and eventually all players were out of the patch and roaming the neighborhood. For the first time in Charles’ life he drew an invitation card and rocketed to the Trick r Treat spot to change into his holy ghost costume. His luck is changing, says me!

I don’t think I will bore you with play-by-play action of how many spaces Lucy moved or the fact Jill was hiding quarter cards up her sleeve so we will skip to the final few moments.

At this point it really could have been anyone’s game. The path was mined with plenty of “move back 2 spaces” and there were plenty of quarter cards remaining now that I smacked Jill in her cheater mouth. I know it’s not morally right to place money on a child’s game but I raised the stakes with a cool fifty bucks. We were all in except Phil. He was a tad light but we struck a deal for barter and he has to do the winner’s laundry for a week and reenact “Camp Town Ladies” at a random wake.

Oh my god I am the winner! And so is Mr. Brown. It really is refreshing to see him finally get one over on Lucy. Sure it’s no football field goal but when it’s a chance to give Lucy the middle finger, any opportunity is the right one. This one is for you Chuck.

To the victor goes the spoils! Enjoy it Charlie Brown. It has to be better than the crap you got along the trick r treat journey.

This is a great game if for nothing more than to roll around in Halloween nostalgia. Perfect on a Friday game night with kids to teach them how awesome It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is. It’s an important part of American culture and I embrace it every year, if only to relive the thirty minutes some twenty-five years ago with Dad, carving pumpkins and laughing hysterically over Snoopy’s gaff when he howls over Shroeder’s piano. I give it a solid A.

 

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Frick

I am currently wrestling between iMovie and WordPress Video, neither of which will take my video that was shot a while ago. I am about to punch them in their computer faces. Especially since I have spent much cheddar insuring that enough space and editing software is made available. If I see another “HTTP ERROR” or  YouTube Time-out I…I will just lose my shit. So until a little later tonight, I will entertain you with three creepy movie moments for me. Hopefully YouTube will not deactivate the videos before the end of the Samhain season.

UGH! There are so many great scenes in the 1979’s The Brood, but this particular scene makes the hairs standup and pretty much fall out. I think it’s how the music dies out and not only the teacher but the children are completely like “what the fuckin’ heck?”. It’s a brilliant scene and even though it seems a stretch that Fisher Price hammers could kill a person, the little devils in snowsuits remain high on the creepy list.

Okay, so this isn’t in English. That’s not the point of this particular scene in the 1997 creeper, The Blair Witch Project. I challenge anyone to turn off the lights, turn up the volume and watch this part of the movie without admitting a slight discomfort. Little dead kids laughing and making guttural sounds in the woods, miles away from any help, is enough to rename Captain Badass to Private Peepants. I especially love the foggy camera lens and the feeling of damp cold as the victims awake to a nightmare. Amazing.

The Exorcist will always go down as the movie to end all movies in my little world. There are numerous scenes that make you cringe or look away but when it comes to a creepy scene that only recently was introduced through the help of computers, the spider crawl really spooked me. I am not usually one to “add-to” a classic movie (GEORGE LUCAS) but if it’s a scene that causes me to wince in fright, I love it.

So, there are the three creepy scenes that will tide you over until I choke WordPress or iMovie. Whoever’s fault this is. I’ll be right back.

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Hey Punk’n! It’s Pumpkin Beer!

It’s approaching that season and whether we like it or not, it’s time to start talking about Fall beers and what to buy and what to laugh at in the grocery store. Who am I kidding though, “like it or not”? Of course we like it or other wise I wouldn’t be writing and you wouldn’t be reading. So let’s get on with the dance and let me introduce to you the first official “pumpkin” beer of the Fall season 2012, Punk’n by Uintas Brewing Company out of Salt Lake City, Utah.

There is a reason that this beer hits such high marks with me and I’m not going to tell you because it’s in my stupid video. Okay, I will. I love the orange, brown and yellow packaging. I also love the fact it’s a milder pumpkin ale that doesn’t destroy the palate with nutmeg and cinnamon just to shout “I’M SEASONAL! HEAR ME ROAR!” It’s light, not over bearing and when you swallow it, it’s gone. Everything that I deem holy in a craft beverage.

For the specificities of this beer click here for more info. I don’t have the energy to write ABV percentages or the fact that it has cloves from space. All you care about is taste and all I care about is posting a video to make VeggieMacabre’s theme song worth the money I spent on it.

So go out and grab a six-pack of this and relax while watching Friday the 13th part VII. It’s a personal favorite of mine. You know I would never steer you wrong. Well, not intentionally.

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