Here is a little thought provoking question while I finish up this review of an awesome and spooky bar in NYC I visited while on business.
Would it not make Friday the 13th Part VII better if Lar Larkin’s mom was digitally replaced with Karg from the movie Masters of the Universe? I think this could happen. Nay, I think this should happen.
I have been a huge fan of John’s site, Freddy In Space, for quite sometime and if you want to know anything horror or related to that genre, this is where you go. He’s a great writer and a good blog-buddy. So after you read this, please pop over and take a gander at an awesome site.
So, John always has great ideas when it comes to joint blog-ventures and this one is a topic that I just can’t pass up. Back in the mid-eighties a great movie introduced me to Universal monsters in the film, Monster Squad. I could go into the plot of the film but for this project we only need to look at their treehouse.
I think every kid had a dream of starting a secret club and building an awesome fort for meetings and sleep overs. John asked the question, what mandatory ten items would you have in your Monster Squad Treehouse? So here are mine.
The horror House Target Set
I am a huge sucker for vintage horror memorabilia. I don’t know if I would ever taken this out of the box if I owned it but as a kid I am sure this set would have slowly disappeared from poor marksmanship. But it is fun to have an initiation where you have to kill at least four monsters to join.
Lucio Fulci Movie Posters!
These posters and VHS box art used to terrify me as a child when we would rent movies at the local rental store but after around the age of nine, my fear turned to fascination. Pretty soon I was that kid from Salem’s Lot who had an entire room full of macabre items and for a bit my parents thought I was Satan’s minion. It would have been nice to have a club house where I could enjoy these pleasures only with fellow weirdos.
Duke Nukem: The Shining Edition
Of course my Monster Squad Treehouse would have power and with that power would come the ability to play scary video games. My absolute favorite right now is The Shining version of Duke Nukem. I don’t think any haunted hotel and axe murdering psychopaths would be a big deal with a shotgun. Groovy. I like to image my buddies playing this for hours and talking in their best Duke Nukem voice.
See? How can you not get into this? Sure “Ghosts & Goblins” is fun to play but when it comes to my club, only gratuitous sex and violence. Thanks Duke!
Nudie Magazines
It’s a boys club. Sorry, no girls allowed.
Every club house should have a proper amount of nudie magazines and my Monster Squad Treehouse will have a double secret hiding space where our stash will be hidden. This is as good as any currency between like club houses. I still have a really shitty Freddy Krueger glove from such a trade. It went like this:
Me- “What will you take for Freddy’s glove?”
Kid- “Whadda ya got?”
Me- “I have a rookie Mark McGuire card in a case?”
Kid- “How about a nudie mag?”
Me-“Banana Boobs for a Freddy Glove? Deal!”
Masks!
Oh we would need masks! I love these rubber and latex art. It would be a trip to read Famous Monster Magazines in these masks and eat our weight in Twizzlers. And after that we would sneak down and scare my buddy’s sister.
I don’t have a whole lot to say about masks but if I had a Monster Squad style Treehouse without a Frankenstein’s monster mask, I might as well call it a Rainbow Brite Festivity Club. Cause only Sally would join.
The Exorcist
This is a must for all club members. It’s a test of courage for any ten-year old who has an eye for monsters, ghosts and creepy things. I remember when I first watched the whole thing as a kid and really hated watching the sun go down for fear of heading to bed. It’s a much better film to watch with your gang during a sleepover. And it’s fun to watch new members squirm during the famous needle in the neck scene.
Candy Candy Candy Candy
If I had a Monster Squad style treehouse Halloween candy would be available year round. Of course if this was back when I was ten, I probably would not have opted for candy corn since that’s more of a nostalgic treat for me today. I probably would have had quite a bit of Bonkers candy, instead. Remember those? Why the fuck did those disappear but we still have Peeps? This world confuses me at times.
Just looked up Bonkers and they are coming back for Halloween 2013! And the day just became brighter!
Legos!
I don’t think Legos had a specific model back in the mid-eighties but if they did, the haunted mansion would be a mandatory decoration in the club. What a cool item to have for kids to piece together. There is no doubt that this would be in a million pieces after it gets put together but I think on a fun friday night in the club house, this would be a cool project.
Toben’s Spirit Guide from Ghostbusters
This is a real thing, right? Gosh I hope so because these would be definite for the treehouse. Imagine the hours of fun it would be to look up ancient spirits from the movie and cartoon like Samhain and the Sandman. Sheesh, even as an adult, the Sandman still is a bit creepy. Am I right?
And Finally…What Ever the Fuck This Thing Is
I saw this on weirdotoys.com and this would have been in a prominent spot in the Treehouse. New members would have to leave offering gifts at its feet. All would respect it and nonmembers would never be allowed to see it.
I will be honest, it’s disturbing to look at. Kinda reminds me of Victor Crowley from the movie Hatchet. I mean really, he’s wielding a hatchet while eerie music plays to his distorting face. Absolute perfection to a club that worships the strange and unusual. Because I, myself, am strange and unusual.
So that is what would be in my Monster Squad Treehouse. This is a great idea Freddy In Space!
Be sure to check him out and all those who have participated in this fun little post.
It has been a little while since I posted but being a working chump doesn’t leave too much time for writing about nonsense and beer. This time I was able to shave off an hour from the grind to talk a little bit about Blue Point’s Toxic Sludge Black IPA. The second I laid eyes on this can I knew it was destined for a star spot on VeggieMacabre. It is one part Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, one part Ghostbusters and three parts Toxic Avenger all equalling one brilliant design that makes you want to stare at it but definitely not consume it.
The cool thing about Toxic Sludge is that Blue Point Brewery donates a portion of its profits to a bird sanctuary to rehabilitate birds affected by the BP oil spill. It’s a funny design for such a tragic accident but let’s not ruin that with seriousness. Watch the video featuring me, Toxi the Toxic Avenger, that melted guy in Robocop and my buddies at Lost Story Studios, Bo and Brockton.
Sorry for the attire. I told you work has been a bitch.
I can tell a very busy work week is about to hit me between the eyes so before I get knocked stupid by F-stick 1 and F-stick 2 who can’t understand the difference between a print driver and a golf driver, I better get this writing bug out of the system. I have a couple of items that need to be shared and it’s a great way to break my horror movie constant that I have been on for the past couple of months. I am sorry about that. But before I go into the randomly ridiculous, I need to take a second out to thank my buddy Grover who is the marketing director at The Hub channel. We were school chums and he is proof that success did come from my educational institution. Such a great guy.
Whaaaat? I came home from work this evening to find an unexpected package at the door and when I saw the Hub logo on the box I knew it was from Michael. A whole box of The Hub channel swag and he sent it just because he’s a great person. I love that channel and every Thursday night I am having an ALF attack. Now I can say I know someone on the inside.
If you don’t have The Hub network I really feel for you. Take a good percentage of this blog’s history and make it into a channel and there is The Hub. There is something very special about airing Gremlins 2: A New Batch and following it up with G.I Joe on a Sunday afternoon. Especially when you are working on budget reports and drinking beer. It’s all such a weird mix.
On a recent trip to Bed Bath and Beyond, I spied this canister of UNC baby blue…hot chocolate??? I live in North Carolina and no matter where you turn there is some UNC this or NC State that or Wake Forest this or Duke that. If you are a transplant, like myself, and went to a different undergrad university in another state, it’s fairly annoying. It’s as if no one really graduated and moved on. Well, as far as me not caring about UNC, I can’t pass on blue hot cocoa. I am thinking about just removing the label and writing “Blue Hot Cocoa” just for great cupboard effect. I need to have guests exclaim, “YOU HAVE BLUE COCOA!?!?” I spent $5 on this so I think I am entitled to at least one of those.
Okay, this was not what I was hoping for when I opened the lid. I really wanted to see blue powder. But that magical Blue #1 requires science in order to turn from anthrax to a baby blue hue. It is a tad boring but acceptable.
Add water for magic! I must say I am impressed and it was exactly what I imagined it to be. It reminded me of the Judy Bloom book I was forced to read as a small kid and before I was aware that Judy Bloom books were for girls. The story is about a kid who pukes in class and how yarfing in class is something most kids will do. Thoughts of blue oatmeal plagued her until she finally spewed. From then on, any food item that was unnaturally blue reminded me of that. As a 35-year-old today, it’s still my first reaction. Damn it, Judy Bloom!
So, the color is wacky but how about the taste?
Not great. It’s like white chocolate and in my opinion, that’s not chocolate. Now that I said that, I am prepared for a fight.
The overall concept is great and that is what I need to remember. But I refuse to think that this is UNC hot chocolate. Oh no. In my mind this is Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen’s blue drink.
I recently picked up this little gem mainly out curiosity. It’s the movie The Exorcist which is synced to Black Sabbath’s album, “Black Sabbath”. I’ve seen plenty of movies dubbed over with psychedelic music in hipster bars but this was something that peaked my curiosity. I get it mostly, but I never put much stock that the music follows the storyline of the film. Sure we all know the Wizard of Oz/Pink Floyd theory but with a enough weed and low IQ, Pink Floyd could match perfectly to four episodes of Dora the Explorer.
Reading the reviews of De Ville’s musically synched movie, The Ozzorcist, people are generally impressed by how well the lyrics match the scenes. I guess lyrics can be interperated most anyway and Black Sabbath isn’t much of a stretch in relation to a movie that had people believing they were possessed in ’73. To me, this is a match made in Heaven.
Shut up, I have no real jokes anymore.
Here is a quick compilation I made so see what you think?
Casserole of Disaster 