Back In 100

I am updating this at about 11:30pm in the back of my Honda Element, snug in a sleeping bag with a huge thunderstorm pounding away. Why am I in the back of my car, you ask? Great question.
Tomorrow I am running the Xterra 100 race to the sea relay that started in NY. I just have to do the 100 mile portion.
So, here I sit in Bend, Oregon (greatest place in the world) trying to sleep and thinking of you.
I hope I survive this but should I not, it has been a pleasure. Please feed my cat.

Peace and love,

Will VM

Everything But…

So I had some bad news after completing last weeks race. It turns out I ran the race on a broken heel and further aggravated my injury causing a calcaneus fracture. It sucks and now I have to train for my 100 mile Xterra race that is in a month by doing everything except running. So I have turned to my long time fitness mentor, prior Navy SEAL Lt. Stew Smith for advice on not being an idiot. And what do you think a SEAL would suggest? Of course….swimming.

This past week I have done everything except running to include spinning, biking, swimming, cross training, heavy low set weights and hypoxic walking (walking while holding your breath and controlling heart beats). I will tell you, all this fails in comparison to running. Perhaps I am bias, but there is nothing that will torture, challenge and push one’s mind to the brink like long distance running. And maybe that’s because I am not a talented runner and a bit weak-minded but to me, it’s on the running trail that I know who I am.

So if you see a guy walking around in a “Japanese Jumpboot” holding his breath or in the pool practicing 50 meter underwater drills, it might be me. Wave but keep your distance. I have a tendency to throw up while doing hypoxic training.

See? Weak minded.

Nothing Is Ever Easy

Well, I survived the race to Spokane and I think that is really saying something because three people were hit by cars and one died. I still have to say that out loud because doing something so fun with such amazing people, death shouldn’t be a factor and it is hard for me to believe that happened. But, in a 185 mile race over a 24 hour period, there is an element of danger. But this really put a dark cloud over our celebration at the finish.

So, I will talk about the race later. It was a lot of fun and my team comprised some of the most talented and insanely fast runners I have seen. They made 7 mile stretches seem like a 500 yard dash and that’s being modest. I really wish I could have been quicker but sadly I had to run on a stress fractured heel and I just couldn’t get out of second gear. I am still Pissy McPissface about it.

On another note, have you ever noticed when you are in a rush, nothing will work in your favor? It happened to me in a Target yesterday. Now I was still a little tired from the weekend but this five-minute errand turned into a whopping thirty minute campaign I like to call Operation “Losing My Shit”. All I needed was wrapping paper, a card and tape. Sounds easy. It was not.

This seemed like a one-stop-shop aisle where all my needs should be fulfilled. Well, not really. I guess I was in such a rush I just couldn’t seem to find anything anywhere and that, for some reason, pissed me off. And I never get pissed about such things so I don’t understand why I went so Incredible-Hulk-on-shirt about this. Perhaps it was because finding tape under five bucks was like finding Bigfoot.

Well, this is turning into a pretty lame story so I will get to the part that made me want to write this in the first place and take pictures of tape.

No matter what, in the grocery store, I will always be in line behind the old lady who has a coupon for everything in her cart, needs price checks on generic canned cat food and after an agonizing wait, she will reveal her checkbook and demonstrate her cursive writing skills. This doesn’t bother me. Not in the least. But when you chose a line because you have wandered through the gift wrap aisle like a paraplegic in a game of “Marco Polo” and the phone is going berserk from people wondering why you are late, you try to pick the shortest line available. But that proves futile if the person infront of you is this guy.

For the sake of anonymity, just in case this is a reader’s Uncle Lou, I put an LOL cat over his face. Man, this guy could not figure how to pay with the credit card machine. If President James K. Polk was flung from his time to present day and told to pay for this detergent, I am pretty sure he could have figured it out before this guy did. It was tough to watch and that is when my patients waned and got the best of me. On his tenth attempt to not press the giant red ‘CANCEL TRANSACTION’ button, I blurted “jumpin’ Jesus on skates”. He looked at me with a defeated face and said, “I’m sorry”.

There aren’t many times I truly feel like a total asshole (though that may shock a few people) but when it happens I hate myself. I hated myself right then and there.

So, the moral of the story is be excellent to each other. Even if you can’t find cheap tape.

Gone Runnin’

So tomorrow I’ll be running a 24 hour race and I’m pretty sure it will kick my ass 6 ways to Sunday. Is that right? Or is it 7 ways to Sunday? Saturday? I don’t know, the point is, I won’t be able to wish you a Happy David Bowie Day because I will be delirious and possibly believing we are  not in August but rather grape.

Now I know it has been changed from the original date but I had to because I forgot. Damn the truth sucks. So make sure on Saturday you sing “Ashes to Ashes” in the car and wave to a Chinese girl. I am currently looking for a Bowie remix to run to.

And on David Bowie day, this is not to be talked about AT ALL! I just watched the whole thing and it broke my Gay-dar. Now I need to go all the way to Boise to find a Sharper Image and replace it. Damn. It’s all Mick Jagger’s fault.

I’m Three!

Well, before August gets here I suppose I should post something or suffer the fate of July 2010 being the first month I missed sharing my thoughts, random obscure trivia and death pools like how long will Brian Dennehy be circling the drain for.  Yeah, this blog has never been one to accumulate mass amounts of good karma points but I digress. Tonight I finally have time to catch everyone up. All three of you. There is no work that is pressing at the office, my research has finally gotten to a manageable cluster and I decided to rest and not run another race tomorrow.  I am currently staring at six more marathons and an ultra relay before October’s end. So with this free time, where to begin?

Living in Moscow Idaho is like living in the DOS prompt of America. There is really nothing here and if you leave this town you will drive through miles of rolling hills, blue sky and occasional farms only to arrive in another town that looks just like the one you came from. It’s a lot like living in a flash program. It will never change and does not end. Kind of like this.

I think my neuro research has effected my brain. Irony! I have spent so much time in the lab, hospital and library, I think I am socially inept. Yesterday I was at the local Co Op (hippy grocery) and the check out girl asked me what color my eyes were. I told her I wasn’t sure because I can’t see them. In my mind I was trying to be funny playing off the fact that I see with them and was unable to…you get it. But I came across like a dick-nerd. The worst kind! Being a nerd is bad enough but when a dick lable is added, that makes my fists itch. But I regained and thanked her for her compliments and the promptly spilled my change on the floor. I’m going to buy my fruit somewhere else for a while.

I witnessed my cat eat a fly today. It wasn’t good enough that she licks her butt but now eats flies. Just thought you needed to know.

This blog turns three years old in a couple of days. I don’t trust myself to post on the exact day so I’ll just say it now. Weee! A lot has happened in the past three years and I wouldn’t do anything different. Well, probably quit tequila sooner. I don’t miss making this face anymore.

I missed motherfucking David Bowie Day! Dag rabbit! Okay, since it was my brain child to begin with I think I reserve the right to change the date. It will now be David Bowie Day on August 14th. Mark it on your calendar. Do what you have to do and when you do, you’ll know what to do. Remember that.

So here is to another three years of nonsense! Thanks for tagging along and all the great people I have met on the way. Seriously, it’s amazing how many friends I have just because I decided one day to start this WordPress page. I love you all. So, I guess it’s back to the path. See ya on the way!

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