Category: entertainment

A Little Help From My Freinds

I have been meaning to do this for some time so here it goes. It never ceases to amaze me that people read this stuff on VeggieMacabre. More over, people who actually have a common bond with my topics. Really, I think the most fun I have is reading other blogs. There is something to be said for people who can express emotion whether it be humorous or of the serious nature and make one feel through written words. I believe that is a gift and I want to share some people on my blogroll that have that.

The Pilver (Kristiane) : I’ve known Kristiane for a couple of years now. Many people who visit this site know her so it comes as no surprise when I say that she an amazing writer, Mom, multi-tasker and over all good person. The Pilver is one of the funniest, honest and most heartfelt sites on the Internet and if you have not been there, go! I am pretty sure we are somehow related because there is now way two people can operate on the same frequency like KB and I do. Trust me, it’s weird.

Laurie Kendrick : Laurie and I are good friends and I am a little bit smitten by that. Her blog is read by hundreds of thousands and there is great reason for that. She is funny. You can not read this in public because something will come out of your nose. I promise, I now know what coffee feels like in my nasal cavity. Her years in TV and radio have shaped her humor and wit to that of a God like skill. I hope that one day I can write as well as her.

The Evolution Of Me (Essaytch) : This is another funny girl that writes about the daily grind and my days feel a little less complete without checking in to read her hilarious letters to Mr. Manager, Paul Allen, or even WordPress itself. I also think Pippen the cat is just aces. There is something about Essaytch that makes you want to take her out to get drunk and then go see a live performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Maybe it’s the Seattle in her?

That’s What She Blogged (Allison) : I’m not sure how I found Allison on here but I am glad I did. Her daily events, 80’s and 90’s nostalgia, story’s of the “Imp” and stretch pants will keep you reading for hours. This is a must go to, because I believe everyone can find something in common on here. Whether it’s about being a parent, corporate work, funny dogs, The Office, or New Kids On The Block, trust me, it is worth reading. Her husband Matt is really funny too. It’s a double win.

Kittymao: It’s a breath of fresh air to have a friend that is honest, artistic and loves metal. She is a fellow Maiden fan and for that alone she has a place close to my heart. She also sent me this kick ass artwork she did that will be hung up in the den as soon as I get it back fro the matting store.

Shuanfu : A fellow X-E’er, Shuan and I have known each other for a while. I think it started when I gave him advice on women showing that I really have no idea how they work. I think I told him to run in zig zags and when in doubt play dead. It turns out that was advice for bear attacks. Regardless, if you want honest reviews for movies, collector items, or Wii games, go there. He’s a smart guy.

Furry Chocolates : If you couldn’t tell by now, I mostly have blog buddies that are funny. This one is no exception because if you don’t laugh from this Canadian, I think your laugh thingy is broken. Also, her husband is a very talented photographer as well as her cook book, also listed on Furry Chocolates.

Pammy-Girl : Oh, the very popular Pammy Shep in all her blogging goodness. She is the left-coast rep for VeggieMacabre and a great insight to the world of girls. I try to keep a distance from knowing too much but she is so talented with her writing and wit, I find myself reading on without a care that I may know too much. It’s nice to find open, honest, very educated people that can still admit to tripping into an elevator.

2 Lazy Dogs : I just recently found this thanks to Allison’s blog. I have to admit, she is a really talented artist. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but one of her paintings she posted left me speechless (which is quite a feat) and I stared at it for a good 10 minutes before sharing it with the entire office. Stop by, feel inspired and read the 101 page. Guaranteed to find at least 50 things in common.

Pistol Pete : Do you ever get down, need guidance, or just want to be lifted a little? Go here. I’m not the most religious guy but man, I read this almost daily just to refocus and it works. It works well. I am the type of person who goes to church, the entire time I daydream about everything not “church like” and yell at drivers leaving the parking lot. He brings it back to living a fruitful life and does it in a way that you would never know. If my computer was ever stolen, this would be one of the top 10 things that would force me to replace it that day.

jdevore : It’s Goob! Jodi is a great friend and I’m richer in life to know her. She has a great perspective on life and keeps the little things sacred which is a lesson most missed in life. If it wasn’t for the that, I would be lost in life.

Hopping In Puddles : You have to read some of these letters on here. Talk about heart felt! I wish I could find the words at times but clearly Micheal has.

Dohopoki : Have you ever met someone and you just know from a brief interaction that their IQ is probably 180. That’s doho. He is hilarious but the witty comebacks in his responses is where the magic is. It’s a great look into the mind that borders genius and insanity, and that’s a compliment. I’m glad he has recently decided to join the blogging community because it’s just too good not to read.

Kirbyann : Read the poems. Most of the time poems are over my head, and many English college courses have confirmed that. These are wonderful and at times will give you goosebumps.

Vonnegut’s Asshole (Eric Spitznagel) : One of the most famous people on this site, he is an accomplished novelist, magazine contributor and one of the funniest bloggers I have read. Some day I hope I can write like this guy. I have read his books but really lucked out to find his site. I still can’t believe it is for free.

Squee : It’s hard not to love Squee from X-E. She as been a rock in the comment section on X-Entertainment for years and I was ecstatic when she commented on one of my posts. I felt like I had a visit from the Queen or something.

Keywork : Much like Doho, this is a smart guy. He is cleaver, funny and if you don’t agree with him politically, watch out. He can hold his own. I pop in regularly as a lurker. I learn a lot.

MaryJane : Amy pops in from time to time but each time is like Christmas. You have to love the way she writes and topics of choice. She is a fellow X-E’er and it’s worth stopping by to listen to her mixed tape from 1996.

Crown Combo : Misty has been and still is an inspiration to me. If you ever want to find out about girl nostalgia go here. She is funny, brilliant and here blogs as well as her articles are more of an adventure than anything else. I don’t think a day has gone by without me checking in to see what she has gotten into. It really is a fun site and she is a good, good friend.

Social Pariah : I am not sure how I was found but I am glad she did. I have read every post and it is so funny. Go there right now and look at the midget in the leprechaun mask with the guy smoking a bong. It still haunts my dreams.

X-Entertainment : And of course, Matt Caracappa’s site. This is the reason I started writing. If you have never been there please go. Then you will understand where VeggieMacabre came from. Every post is quality, every topic will keep you interested and before you know it you will be assimilated into the X-E’er club. Actually it’s more of a cult. Matt is by far the most talented writer I have ever read. He can spark your interest in things you normally would never care about. His humor is dry and but never over your head. I don’t know if this is a sad thing, but if I left this world early, X-Entertainment would be one of the things I would miss the most. It is that good. There is no were else that you could travel back in time from the safety of your desk and relive the most innocent chapters of your life. Thanks for the Matt.

Well, that’s my shout out. I thoroughly enjoy reading everything on my blogroll. I usually don’t add many to it unless it meets my standards of humor, intelligence and over all non offensiveness in nature. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your personal thoughts, memories and life lessons. My job in life keeps the stress levels high but you guys bring me down to reality like nothing else. Keep the great posts coming.

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A Tribute To Richard Condie

I have been meaning to do this one for quite some time. After my tribute to the artist Stephen Gammell, there has been so many hits on it I figured I should branch out to other artists I really like. So today I will be tipping the hat for Richard Condie, an artist who not only had a unique animation style but really captured the art of humanity. Growing up I would catch these cartoons from time to time and the absurdity of the characters kept my attention but it wasn’t until recently did I get the sociological lessons not only the characters played but the plot and setting too. They are smart, funny and at times bizarre but never dull.

Condie, a resident Canadian graduated from the University of Manitoba with a Bachelor of Arts degree and worked as an accomplished sociologist, musician and performer for a number of years. It wasn’t until 1971 when he was “fooling around” did he find his artistic outlet in the form of animation. Soon he made the short, Oh Sure thanks to a grant from the Canadian Counsel and it was later purchased by the National Film Board Of Canada. I’d say that was an ego boost to have your first film picked up.

I’m going to share some of my favorite shorts that Condie created. You have to keep an open mind because they are a little far out but that’s the magic. I’m so tired of the message of the story being handed to you. It always means more to me when it is hidden behind sentence fragments, strange voiced sound effects and characters that had to be created through drugs. Here’s the first one which is a later creation Richard did in 1991. The Apprentice:

I’m going to honest with you, I have no clue what that was about. But I do know I like it and that is all that matters. How often do you get to watch a cartoon and see a dragon burp up a dude’s head? Not often my friends and that is where the magic comes to life.

Condie’s creative animations also found a spot advertising for the Canadian Customs and Exercise Department warning travelers not to smuggle opera singing bird/gerbils. Now if the US government would get on board with ads like this I promise that the amount of smuggling, embezzlement, and international law bending would come to a halt. At least I would stop.

This one is my absolute favorite and the most memorable. It’s a great message about the absurdity of nuclear war, loving your spouse and sawing your cat. I love this to know extent and is the main reason I wanted to share Richard’s work with anyone who may have missed it. Here it is, The Big Snit:

“Always shaking your eyes!”

Since 1971, Richard Condie really has put Canada on the map for animation. His awards and accolades over the years have been in the hundreds and he has even been nominated for an Oscar and a Genie as well as many international film fest awards. There is no doubt he is one of the greats and once again, Canada has provided America with true comedy.

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Sausages!

I have to admit, I have become pretty desensitized to what is funny in our current state of pop culture. Maybe it is the fact that the last season of The Office was a little drab. Or perhaps I am still holding a very bitter animosity towards Fox for canceling Arrested Development. What ever the case is, I very rarely have laugh out loud moments when it comes to television. To be fair I rarely watch enough of it to be a critic but still, the few shows I see that are prime time get little more than a smirk. That is why I focus on commercials because they can hit a home run when TV can barely get a base hit.

Bud Light commercials have to be the greatest dead space filler since Billy Mays made his infomercial debut. The cleaver campaign has touched the hearts of many 22 to 35 year old guys and can make even the most pedantic and culture asshole chuckle. I would love to see the think-tank at the corporate advertisement office. I imagine it is a room full of Nerf hoops, air hockey tables and dart boards with a kegerator in the corner and the ad execs ranged from 24 to 30 year old dudes. The dress code would be little more than no jean shorts and if you wore a polo, the collar had to be down. An environment like that would be perfect to give us a gem like this.

It’s nice to see that laundry detergents and stain removal products are not only targeting women. It’s true that most all the guys I know, including myself, do their own laundry. I even use dryer sheets and (gasp) iron from time to time. I still have a hard time figuring out how to get some stains out and normally I would just turn to the black magic of the local Korean dry cleaners but thanks to Tide’s stain stick I have some magic of my own. To be perfectly honest, it was this commercial that made me stop in the aisle at the grocery store. To this day I still have this in my head when I see someone with a stain.

I am old enough to remember the day when Snickers candy bars were target to be a quick alternative to lunch. It was the “pick me up” of the mid eighties but then that damn FDA gave us the food pyramid that didn’t include nugget, chocolate or caramel. So it was left to the kids and the commercials became drab. That is until recently when someone finally was in charge of the marketing that had a sense of humor. Maybe it is the weird, quirky characters but I laugh harder every time I see this. I have a thing with poorly played horns.

This one really spoke to me. I think I have been to Quizno’s collectively five times in my life but those five times were when the Quizo rats or chinchillas or maybe gerbils were the spokes….things. For the life of me I can not figure out why they got rid of them. The singing was perfect, the South Park like animation was aces and to this day I still say “They got a pepper barrrrr“. Now that has to say something to the marketing department when I still sing that four years later. We need to start a petition to bring the Mexican rat things back. “We love the subsssss!'”

Man, this was a stretch for a post. I have some long ones that I have been working on for a while and they should be up by Friday. Hope you like them.

By the way, where the fuck is spell check in the new WordPress? If there is one thing I can’t live without, it is spell check.

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Band Names

Believe it or not there was a time in my high school career I was certain that I would be in a multi-platinum record selling, hard rock band. There wasn’t a question of if I would make it, but when. My days where filled with Led Zeppelin 3, Metallica’s “Kill’ em All”, Nirvana, The Animals, Pink Floyd, and Cream. To me, I was a visionary and so was my band. We were the only ones who saw the world this way and the only ones who knew that soon arenas around the states would be filled with thousands screaming our name,”Aerial Bullfrog”.

Now that I look back, that name doesn’t scream “Feed Africa” or “Stop AIDs”. Now it sounds like, at best, the opener for the band “Midlife Crisis ” thats only claim to fame is the keyboard player who did a track with The Georgia Satellites in 1993. No, Aerial Bullfrog sucked. Both the name and I’m sure the band if memory serves me correctly. I wish I could go back and give us a better name. Maybe my life as a rock star would have happened if only the name was cooler. Here’s some of the names I would toss around.

  • Pumpernipple
  • DickDrip and the Hand Cramps
  • Giant Ape Juice (Had to take that Matt.)
  • Midnight Running Scared Past A Pentecostal Sanctuary Under Cloudy Knight Sky (MRS PAP SUCKS) *she did
  • Drink More Ovaltine
  • Chewmama!
  • Puker
  • The Poo’s
  • Taco Taco
  • Go Meat!
  • Tipping Scooters
  • Apple Sounds (start every song by biting into an apple. Risk getting beer bottles thrown at you)
  • Veggie Macabre (Can’t help that one)

I have more. Need to think a little harder though. What are some of yours? I know you have them!

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PSA’s That Taught Me Nothing

About a month ago my buddy Matt over at X-Entertainment wrote a great post about an old 80’s PSA add that warned kids of the hazards that drinking and driving poses. Of course to the little kids that we were when that particular add came out, the lesson was missed all together. Instead we were taunted not by the message but by the shock value that was burned into our brains. So now that I think back, there are a few PSA’s from my childhood that really taught me nothing more than a catchy tunes or sleepless nights thinking of evil puppets.

Ah shit, the old CBS intro. You know, the computer bleeps at the beginning? When I was searching for Woodsy the Owl adds I found this gem and that little tune brought me right back to the time when using the toilet was an option. I can not say I was a fan of Woodsy but I will say I met the owl in real life. I was a Tiger Scout and some poor bastard in an owl costume had to spend an afternoon at camp with us. I can still hear his muffled voice say, “give a hoot, don’t pollute!” Then he had to take his head off to keep from having heatstroke. Nothing like a giant dose of reality to 30 six year olds.

I was always confused why rolled up socks were singing to me. Then I payed closer attention only to realize that these were not socks at all but pills. That cleared a lot of questions up for me like, “why would people confuse socks with candy” and “Why would you call poison control if you eat a sock? You should call a shrink.”. To this day I still can’t believe Busta Rhymes stole this song for “Dangerous”. Now that is funny.

Should I touch this one? Oh I have to. First off the puppets are pretty scary and really belong at Six Flags, “Monster Plantation”. Second, if I ever have kids I don’t want them singing this. Maybe it’s the fact that I watch too much “To Catch A Predator” and I believe everyone is inherently evil and out to get children. Whatever the case, I have to believe the writers for this song are out of touch with the perverts of society. Or are they? Now I have the creeps.

Vince and Larry, the Crash Test Dummies never drove home the message that wearing your safety belt in a car would keep me from dying. No, I was too perplexed by the fact Larry had the same voice as Garfield. It really bugged me for some strange reason. I think Peter Venkman on The Real Ghostbusters also shared Garfield’s voice. I have issues.

I guess this as good of time as any to tip my hat to the voice of Garfield, Lorenzo Music. I was really upset when he passed in 2001 because his voice was one of the greats. Recognized by millions, he could read an obituary and somehow make you feel good about it. Wish he was still here but luckily for us he is immortalized by a fat cat that is 30 years old.

This commercial used to turn me on my fucking ear! I felt pretty bad for this kid when and I didn’t know why he took it the way he did. I used to put myself in his position and think, “If I was him I would ask her to dance and if she said no I would say, I’m sorry, you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants.” Yeah. Then I would stare off into space smiling about how quick witted I was in an adolescent daydream.

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