Viva Las Vegas And Most Of The West

So, I am back. I probably lost the last couple years of my life but what does that matter? Those are the diaper years anyway. No, this trip was…let’s say…interesting. I’ll recap it for you but not too much. It is my luck the boss will Google Noah Hathaway and find this.

Well, on Saturday the boss came in and asked if I had anything going on this weekend. I should have taken Winston Zeddmore’s advice when he said, “if your boss comes in and asks if you have anything going on this weekend you say YES!”.  I didn’t. I said I had nothing going on and that’s why I am working on the weekend.

That’s how I got roped into driving, literally from Canada to Mexico and back with a hell-ish stay in Vegas in just three days. Here is a time line.

3:00- Left Spokane with the boss in a GMC Denali towing a trailer to pick up a car in Los Angeles.

8:00- Found out my boss won his auction on eBay for a jetski in Sacramento.

4:30am- Met the guy who was selling the Jetski at a McDonalds in Elk Grove and loaded it in under 30 minutes.

7:00- Stopped at a Flying J truckstop so the boss could shower. I brushed my teeth and applied deodorant.

12:30pm- Arrived in LA and met the guy who was selling the car and loaded it on the trailer with the jetski. When I saw it there was definitely a “WTF” moment.It was a shell of a crap car.

2:00- Finally left LA and headed east to Las Vegas. Still no sleep.

6:00- Arrived in Las Vegas and checked into the Casino/hotel.

6:05- Agreed that we would eat dinner, have a couple of beers and maybe play a quick game of black jack and call it a night.

6:45- Boss has two drinks in him and decides that Vegas needs to be blown out and proceeds to drink heavy.

8:00- I am in search of the ultimate Chinese food and the boss is with two girls and telling them about his two cabins and many cars.

11:ish- Get a frantic call from the boss telling me to come to the lobby.

11:ish- Get to the lobby and found him sitting between two security bike cops. Got arrested for having sex in the parkinglot. Gives me his wallet and I bail him out.

2:20- Made bail and I went back to the room.

3:00-7:00- Boss went back to the casino. He won $10,000 in less than two hours, took a prostitute back to the room and had sex with her while I was asleep.

8:00-11:30- Just hung around the hotel until the boss woke up.

11:45- Boss realized the prostitute stole $5,000 while we were asleep.

11:45 and 10 seconds later- I excused myself and ran outside to laugh my ass off.

12:30-1:30- Waited in the car for the boss to buy a new iPhone because she took that too. He thinks…

2:00- On the road and I drove the whole way back while he slept.

2:00am- Swear I saw a unicorn and Orville Redenbacher.

10:00am- Pulled into the office parking lot. I passed out on my desk and miracled my way home to bed.

That’s exactly how it went. Pretty epic but I am grateful to see some beautiful country. Just wish the company was better.

This past weekend I ran a 30k X-Terra relay in Walla Walla, Washington in 100 degree heat. Still not back to normal from that one. More on that later.

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