Cleaning Out The Cellphone Camera

I guess it is that time again. Time to clean out the pictures from the ol’ iPhone and share a little bit of those “no shit, there I was” stories with you. This is always good for a stretch when I am in a material slump.

This past Christmas I was flying to New York for a little vacation and very relieved to be leaving 7 feet of snow. Really, there was 7 feet.  Anyway, during a layover in Minneapolis I was witness to a random caroler attack. It was a little awkward to stand there while everyone in the terminal ignored their performance. It went like this…

IMG_0417“Tis the season to be jolly…”

IMG_0418 *cough cough*

IMG_0417“Falla la la la la la la laaa”

IMG_0419Last boarding call for Delta flight 663…

All of my Friends know that when it comes to moving, I am the one who will always lend a hand. The only thing I ask for is beer and Led Zeppelin 3 on the stereo. But I will admit, sometimes the beer can complicate things.

IMG_0578“This couch will totally fit down these stairs. Just let me finish this last sip of wonderful PBR.”

IMG_0576“You’re good, you’re good, you’re good…”

IMG_0577“Oh dude, I am so, so sorry. Let’s have another beer and drag the fridge down here.”

IMG_0664Well, they almost got me back for that little accident by packing all the knives in a box. Almost got me.

IMG_0623Cracker please!

Image023This is actually from my work phone. Didn’t notice it had a flash until I was trying to learn the features.

You know you are in a cool bar when it is decorated with old Hasbro Star Wars’ toys. I still want an AT-AT.


This proves that I am still rocking the Wolf shirt. Actually, I don’t even notice it as a satirical jest towards the Idahoians. Maybe I am one now. uhhhhh….

So that was a pretty pathetic post but I am at work so it’s the best I can do. I will be reading you blogs today so sweep the floors, put stuff under the bed and fire up the tea kettle. You’re having company.

42 thoughts on “Cleaning Out The Cellphone Camera

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  1. Not gonna lie… the carolers part of this post almost made me spit out my Frost Glacier Freeze Gatorade I laughed so hard. Light blue on my white shirt would not have been cool by the way!

    … Reminds me of this one time… I was out drinking at a bar with this guy…. you could call it a date if you want … and right there, middle of one of downtown Atlantas most happening bar districts (week night and not even the week of Christmas mind you) carolers walked in sang a song and hit up the next bar… probably one of the most odd things I have seen… none the less… made the beer taste just a little bit better that night!!

    If the wolf shirt doesn’t make you the sexiest man alive… than I don’t know what would. PS… love the hair!!

    1. thanks Lacey! Sorry about almost ruining your shirt. : /

      I would think that a random carol strike on a first date would totally take the night from an A+ to an A+++. It had to be PBR, huh?

  2. Dude…I wish you were out my way. I could totally use help moving next month. Discount liquor store down the street, complete Zeppelin collection…we’d be set.

      1. Shrek 3 has ruined that song for me. Now I can’t hear it without thinking of Snow White launching a flock of bird’s on Prince Charming’s guards.

        Incidentally, I believe you wrote, “I will be reading you blogs today so sweep the floors, put stuff under the bed and fire up the tea kettle. You’re having company.” I have yet to see any evidence of your visiting my place. That makes me sad. 😦

  3. Ughh…that brings back bad memories. I worked at a Fitness club where carolers stood at the top of the fitness floor and sang while the clients were in the middle of their $100 personal training session…t’was not the time nor the place to be jolly. But it was like a car accident, I just couldn’t look away.

    BTW that wolf shirt kills. I always wanted one, but I was stuck with the Garfield one my Grandma gave me, which said “In dog years I’d be dead”.
    Looking back, I guess it was kind of odd, since I was only around 8 when I got it. Whatev…either way I sure did love that shirt.

    1. I don’t care who you are, Garfield rules. At least his holiday specials do. Oh, and comics volume 1 through 16. I always found it odd how his feet morphed between 1979 to 1984.

      Caroling at a gym would ruin my workout.

      1. I know! It was like all the weight in his stomach was gravitationally pulled down below his ankles…I spent way to much time reflecting on that fact back in the day.

  4. Oh dear god, I’ve made holes like that.
    In rentals, no less.

    My favorite part of moving is when everything is in the truck and both the old place and the new place are empty.
    It’s interesting to see your possessions all in one place…
    and I like laying on the floor in the empty rooms and just absorb the emptiness.
    There’s a sense of promise and hope in empty places like that.

  5. The wolf shirt totally suits you. At the beginning of the paragraph about moving I was thinking oh I might ask him to help me move someday and then at the end of the paragraph I thought nope no way I am not asking him lol!! Behind the door of the bedroom I grew up in has a hole like that right behind the doorknob. My cousin and my best friend at the time were fighting over the door handle and one let go. I was around 10 years old and it has been there ever since.

    I have never really seen carolers before so I can’t say anything about that. I have seen the blowmold ones and those are weird too. If you are willing to commit to the awkwardness of shipping them from what I hear they sell at a decent rate on ebay. For anybody reading this that needs the extra cash desperately.

    I could do a blog article like this because I take pictures all the time (twitter makes my habit even more intense) but I don’t think the satirical comments would be as good!

    1. You know Jodi, I agree with you as far as the wolf shirt goes. I was at a BBQ the other day and someone asked me if I was hungry and I replied I was hungry like the wolf while wearing the said shirt. It made people spit beer but in reality, I was. Just like the wolf.

      Im a tool.

      1. Mental note, if you ever use a metaphor around me to treat it with all seriousness. I am the same way, I say things hoping people appreciate the time it thought to think of something clever but most of the time they laugh and that wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for.

  6. I will be reading you blogs today so sweep the floors, put stuff under the bed and fire up the tea kettle. You’re having company.

    That reminds me, I need to vacuum.

    Also I really want some tea, but it’s too damn hot for hot tea and I have no ice trays. I should just go get some damn ice trays.

    This is easily the lamest comment on the page.

    1. I crept up through the crack in the garage where the cat goes in and out. The best animated theme song….Tiny Tunes or the old classic Scooby Doo. Especially when Jerry Reed is a quest singer playing Sister Mary Sunshine. “…she’s alright with me”.

  7. I can only think of the Friends episode with the couch and the stairwell. “PIVOT! PIVOT!” Maybe you didn’t watch Friends? Anyways – those are classic pics. I usually find some of those after I let my kid play with my phone. Since they are on a whole different eye level, they take some interesting pics.

    1. The funny thing about Friends is that my old ex-girlfriend was a huge Friends fan. Ever since we broke up ages ago I can’t watch it. That sucks too because it was pretty funny.

  8. It’s when the wolf shirt gets replaced by the stained white wife-beater in public that you truly become comfortable in your new hometown. Especially if the event attended is one with a large crowd. At least that’s the way it seems around here 🙂

  9. Nice pictures, I love finally unloading a digital camera, after a few weeks, months or years. Heck I think I still have some five year old fun savers around, really should get around to taking those to the place that develops them, before it shuts down.

  10. That shirt is too funny for words! I think it’s only a step above air brushed shirts you have made at the fair that say Tina Loves Tony written inside a heart.

      1. Oh yes-
        “First up we Have the The Blazers, followed up by Angry Toe Jam, and closing out the set is Tina Loves Tony!”

  11. I couldn’t tell if your comment on the “Man-dressed-as-parrot” picture was supposed to read; “Cracker, please” as in, “Please give me a cracker.” Or, “Cracker please!” as in “White boy, what are you doin dressed up like a parrot?!” I’m hoping for the latter…

      1. haha it’s funny you mention that, because lately I’ve been talking/thinking about those shirts that change color in the sun. Wouldn’t that make this shirt even more legendary?

  12. I saw an ad on TV for a “Starving Artist” Sale with “Sofa Length Hand-Painted Paintings” for “as little as $19” either in the Coeur D’Alene or Spokane areas. I’m sure some of them are genuinely lovely but some of the paintings shown in the ad instantly reminded me of your wolf shirt and this post and I don’t know if the sale is over but somehow I feel that a “sofa length painting” for $19 with the same sensibility as that T-shirt would yield a post (or two) of its own should you acquire one so I thought I might as well mention it as not….

Speak to me, Egor.

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