6, 6, 6 Scary Scenes Mwaa Haa Haa

For years horror movies have always been the preferred choice in my household. I can’t tell you why, but also I can’t tell you why insane hot sauce is my condiment for everything. I guess it is that “in the moment” discomfort I crave. Sadistic or masochistic, you say? Maybe. All I know is that on a rainy and cold night, you will find me on a couch, eating pizza sprinkled with Dave’s Insanity sauce watching The Exorcist 666 times because it keeps getting funnier every time I see it.

Another reason I watch horror movies over, let’s say, comedies or dramas is because they stick with you. Especially certain scenes. You never come home at night from watching Die Hard 5 in theatre and race to turn on the lights because you are worried Bruce Willis is behind the couch, do you? No, you don’t! I want to feel that twinge of fear, that moment when you have to squint your eyes because if you only see 30% of a scene it might not be as scary, that feeling of waking up at 3:33am and wanting to pee but there is no way you’re putting your feet on the floor. I love it all and spending $15 at the theatre should involve a bit of residual entertainment.

Today, I want to share six scenes from amazing films that have and always will stick with me. To some, they may not be scary at all but for some reason they give me the chills. I can’t tell you if I over analyze or I really am just a wuss, but take a gander and see if you share my moments in cinema scares.

The Haunting 1963

Oh boy this one got me. I remember back in 2006 I was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels when I stumbled across the opening title of The Haunting. Intrigued by the title, I stayed to give it a shot even though it was a black and white movie and to a nitwit like I was, that almost certainly means “not scary”. Man oh man, I could not have been more wrong. The whole movie was a creep fest and when the girl I was dating at the time came through the front door, I almost jumped out of my skin.

This scene was by far one of the most creep-out parts even modern horror films of the day could not hold a candle to. From the giggling to the inaudible chattering behind the door, it still makes my hairs stand on end. Watch and see!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Of course if you are a fan of the horror genre you have most likely seen the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If you have not, go back to your Sandra Bullock movies. (I kid) This film has plenty of disturbing and creepy images but the very beginning always made this one, the film that separates itself from the pack. Corpses posed on a tombstone with a radio news bulletin in the background paints a macabre scene and swearing off ever going to rural Texas.

The Blair Witch Project

Why did this film get such a bad rap? For the life of me I cannot understand why? The actors were amazing, there was a constant sense of hopeless dread and above all, the disorienting sounds in the woods insuring that going camping will never be the same again. A particular scare that has never left me was the sounds of dead children playing right outside the character’s tent. I actually felt their panic and when they bolted from the tent, it was hard to tell acting from true terror. Turn off the lights and turn up the speakers. Let your imagination do the rest.

The Amityville Horror

It’s said that this is a true story and to a kid that always amplifies the scare factor by ten but besides all the hype, the ghost/demon/rocking chair enthusiast, Jodi really was what kept the closet light on. This was my first real horror movie that didn’t rely on the Universal monster magic or special effects. A simple empty rocking chair moving on its own and glowing eyes  will paralyse me far easier than some a dude tearing his face off. Maybe I easily impressed?

This scene easily takes a top spot. Be quiet, I don’t wear a dress!

Ghost Story

I grew up without cable so I was always a little tardy to the party when it came to movies that were taboo to a young boy’s eyes. However, my grandparents did and a fateful day in 1984 I channel surfed right into this little ditty. For the first half of the movie, Ghost Story, you see a terrifying specter take revenge on old men in this type of “BOO!” fashion. It worked on me. I have a specific memory of actually running away from the TV.

The Brood

This was a movie that came later in my adolescence though I have always known about it. Although I didn’t find the movie to be all that scary, the scene in the kitchen was shot so perfectly, I think about it at least twenty times a day. Usually about wooden hammers. I can’t tell whether it’s the look on the children’s faces or the fact there isn’t a sound made before all Hell breaks loose.

Maybe it’s kids in snowsuits? I don’t know.

Well, there you have it! The six creepy scenes that I think about right when I begin to fall asleep.

What are yours? Do you have a movie that surprised you or took you off guard? Share them with me either here, Facebook or Twitter! 

Sleep tight.

Movies That Make You Shower

Have you ever seen a movie and felt so disturbed that you feel like brushing your teeth and taking a shower? God I have and for some strange reason, I love it. Almost to the point that if I don’t walk away with that dark, creepy feeling, I am somehow let down. I need help, I know. Here are a few of the movies that have stuck with me over the years and resulted in my carbon footprint being much larger thanks to the amount of lights left on over night. Now that it is almost October I feel a little less weird posting this.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

This is the king of all movies disturbing and macabre. I can never quite get through the whole dinner scene without taking a break and reminding myself that it’s just a movie. I guess the real reason this movie is so scary is the fact it is not supernatural at all. It is a realistic account of sick, cannibalistic killers that torment a poor girl to the point of making her completely insane. Another creepy factor is the fact a majority of the movie happens in the daytime and that plays on the mind. But the good thing about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is you can take away some good points to live by. Never pick up hitchhikers, never buy BBQ from a gas station, skip driving through central Texas and above all else, before you watch this movie be sure to have plenty of soap in the shower. You’ll need it.

Basket Case III

They sure don’t make movies like this anymore. I saw it when I was a young teen, flipping back and forth between this and the original HeadBanger’s Ball. The movie itself is very campy but the freaks and Grammy Ruth chilled me to the bone. Today’s feature flicks leave out the latex special effects and that is too bad. Kids of today might not get to experience a complete appetite killer like this B rated dump in a box which proves what I have been saying for years: we are raising little wussy kids. Here is the trailer and please, if you are eating something, you might want to put it down for a minute.

Troll

I bet you have seen this flick and you are asking, “why is this on the ‘need to take a shower’ list?”. Well, to be perfectly honest, I saw this when I was 8 and it was the frickin’ singing mushroom, man. And it was a good mushroom too! I can’t quite explain it but the fact there was singing fungus made me cringe. It’s funny what bugs a kid. I also hated Falcor the Luck Dragon’s back in The Never Ending Story. I thought it looked like white corn on the cob.

See? I was a weird kid.

The Stuff

Thanks to this cinematic gem I wasn’t able to eat yogurt, sour cream, mayonnaise, cream cheese, cottage cheese, vanilla pudding, marshmallow, the center of an Oreo, mozzarella, ricotta, or whipped butter. My kid cholesterol level was happy but it made dinner preparation for mom a little difficult. I never got over my mayo hate but luckily time heals all wounds and The Stuff faded from my mind over the years. I can once again scrape the white Oreo center with my front teeth.

The Gate

Oh The Gate! This was on HBO at least 30 times a day back in the mid eighties. I told myself not to watch it but every time, I found myself on the recliner with Cheese Puffs out of the can in hand, preparing to not sleep for a week. Its not that the movie is scary by any means, it just has a few gross parts and some disturbing claymation. And really, that’s all I need to feel grossed out. Especially when one of the characters turns into a demon and pusses out in a bathroom stall. There are no happy thoughts that can wipe that image away.

Spookies

1986 was the year for bad, really bad, horror flicks. Thank God for 1986! This is one of the worst by far but as a kid, I was petrified of it. I want to thank my Uncle Nat for renting this when the VCR was very much like the Wii of today. Nat was probably about 20 at the time and he was kind enough to hang out with an 8 year old but clearly, he didn’t understand what would scar a kid for life. Even today he’ll call me on my birthday just to say, “happy birthday Billlllyyyyy”.  I’m surprised I don’t remember the farting zombies. You would think that would stand out. Perhaps that escaped my attention from hiding behind the couch.

Braindead

Let me see, what can I say about this film? Nope, there are no words. There are only involuntary bodily functions that can sum up my feelings on this. Braindead covered all the bases of what would scare a kid and make them feel dirty for weeks on end. Babies in a blender to an old lady decomposing in her cream soup. Barf!!! The only thing I can do is show you this as an apology for the trailer.

There. Feel better? Good.

The Sentinel (1977)

Now this movie scared me so bad my feet went to sleep. That happens from time to time and it is a clear indication that the movie is really terrifying. If you haven’t seen this before and you like the horror genre, check it out. It will make you think twice about renting an apartment in the city. This video is pretty scary so proceed with caution. I give an A to whoever paired Bach with the scenes. Ultra creepy. I would give this an A plus but I just found out that the keyboard on my computer has two minuses and no pluses. What the fuck?

Don’t watch this at work!

I think this just knocked the moral compass of this blog down about a hundred steps but I want you to imagine this. Can you picture the puppeteers and the people doing the sex voices behind the scenes? Oh to be a fly on the wall at that studio!

Well, that is a wrap on the movies that make you want to decontaminate yourself. I know there are a thousand more but these are the ones that stuck out in my head. I hope you walked away with something but then again, it might be better if you didn’t. I’m going to post more of these type of blogs. That is what I started out doing and now that it is the spooky time of the year, why not?

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