For A Limited Time Only SODAS!

Are you ready for the summer?

Are you ready for the good times?

Are you ready for the birds and bees,

The apple trees,

And a whole lot of fooling’ around.

Meatballs

Summer is here ladies and gentlemen so apply that sunblock,  put on the shades and kick back at the pool taking short breaks to yell “no running” every few minutes to kids you don’t know. It’s a fun little game I like to call “getting to not know your neighbors”.

Above all the great sweating that you will probably do this season, we are gifted with a couple new limited time only sodas from the great people over at Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew and…Taco Bell. I’ll explain in a minute.

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Ba-Boom! I present to you the summer edition of Mt. Dew Baja Blast and Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float, both cans which scream beach balls and top-of-feet-sunburn. The quiet rumblings on Twitter were only confirmed when I was running into the grocery store for sandwich bags only to be stopped dead in my tracks by a tower of mixed twelve packs accompanied by beach chairs and Banana Boat lotions. I walked out two twelve packs richer and no sandwich bags. I still need sandwich bags. Shit.

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That is the color of paradise, no? It quite honestly is a Crayola Fiji and if that’s not a thing, I think they should jump on that. Mt. Dew Baja Blast was originally a Taco Bell exclusive and the only way to drink it was when you demanded to have diarrhea at 2am. By that I mean, the only way to get a Baja Blast Dew was dining in or out of a Taco Bell. Since summer hit across the US, we are now safely able to consume Baja Blast minus a blast.

As far as taste goes, I really don’t have a good barometer for Mt. Dew since the sugar and caffeine are turned up to eleven, it all is the same to this 36-year-old. However, if I shut my eyes just at first sip, my brain conjures up tropical fruit snacks from the late eighties. That with a hint of soap. The color far outweighs the soapy after taste so if you can push the thoughts of Dial out of your mind, this drink should be your go-to thirst quencher.

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Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float? Sure, why not since there are other variations of the Dr. Pepper like Cherry Dr. Pepper, Diet Cherry Dr.Pepper, 10 Calorie Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper, Double Diet Semi-Cherry 10 Calorie Dr. Pepper and so on. The Vanilla Float, as far as I know, doesn’t have a third cousin.

This one left a little to be desired. I like Dr. Pepper. I like vanilla floats. But a strange thing happens when you combine them. Have you ever heard that if you put a wooden spoon on top of a boiling pot it prevents the contents from boiling over? (Seriously, it works) Kind of the same thing. These two flavors take the carbonation out of the drink within seconds. I don’t get it, but damn if it doesn’t flatten faster than a dog sneeze. It’s fast. The flavor is exactly what you would expect; sweet vanilla with sweeter Dr. Pepper. It’s sweet.

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The real bonus is the can itself. I’m a sucker for the packaging and this can is what makes summer in the grand ol’ USA great. I know, it’s nothing more than clip art but what the hell, I love it so much I reserved a can for my soda collection. I just started that odd collection last year which makes this my fifth can. At this rate, I should have enough for a case by forty-five. And at forty-five, having a soda collection should solidify my single lifestyle. No woman in her right mind would stand for closet full of expired soda. Or maybe she would be the best woman in the world? Hmm, new standards forming.

So, there you have it! We have started out summer in high gear with two great summer beverages or at least one great soda color and another great soda can. You can’t expect to have your cake and throw it too.

If you want to find out first hand about Baja Blast, my boy Brian from Reviewtheworld.com was able acquire a cup through questionable motives. 😉 Watch and have fun.

 

 

To Sum It Up…

I really have been ultra busy. It’s amazing how such a lull in life can precede such a tsunami of craziness. Let me try and catch you up on why I have neglected to both write and visit you. I really am sorry about that. 😐 So here are a few key points in my life as of late.

img_0518Almost kept a puppy! I was driving to the hospital a few weeks ago and this little guy ran out in front of me. I stopped, got out, fully expecting him to run away, and tied to see if I could read his tag. Instead of timid little guy he jumped straight into my arms. Of course he didn’t have a tag so I was forced to knock on all the neighboring houses looking for the possible owners. No luck so I put him in the car and took off to attend a course that I was already ten minutes late for.

Oddly enough he didn’t chew up or pee in the car. I spent an hour in the class nervously drumming my fingers, expecting the worse but when I came out he was propped up on the steering wheel, head cocked but tail wagging.

I really didn’t know what to do with him since finding the owners was a feat in and of itself. So, enlisted the help of friends and we did what anyone else would do. We kept him for the weekend and had a blast. He was a great dog. Almost like a stuffed animal that can move and poop.

Well, I contacted the local fire department where I found him since I have “connections” there and sure enough the chief knew the pup and the owners. It turns out the owners let him out for an hour each morning when the go to their horse field and clean the stalls. So, I pretty much kidnapped their dog for a weekend. I returned him to the fire chief anonymously and it was a little heartbreaking to hear him whine when I turned to get back in the car. I still have his chew toy on my floor board.

img_0491I came real close to buying the big box condo last Friday during a structure fire. Apparently, when I was on a single hose line a high voltage wire snapped from the heat of the fire and landed on the ground next to me causing a huge electrical arch that chard the ground around me, fried the hose and created a big blue light over top of me. I was oblivious to this until I heard screaming over my radio from the incident commander that I was on a live wire and to drop the hose. I did so and was stuck in one spot until the electric company could come out and turn off the electricity. Since then I have been a luck charm for the company and other stations. But I still have the creeps since everyone including the electrician kept repeating that there is no reason that I should have survived that. So technically, I shouldn’t be here writing you.

img_0537The fire departments have been consolidating and that means my hours have been cut pretty dramatically. So, I have been forced to dust off the ol’ resume’ and now I find myself back in corporate America until they finish the rezoning of the fire agencies. It’s cool I guess. I work as a consultant for a company that streamlines large businesses as far as their digital postage, copy, office supply and equipment. The first day on the job everyone called me Jim Halpurt. Great.

So, this is what I see instead of fire trucks and catastrophic scenery. I still can’t believe I am a suit again but at least I can still work rescue part time. Actually, it’s everything I can do not to stab myself in the leg with a pen. Shit, I’m lucky to have a job though. Listen to me! I’m bitching about having a job and take little regard for the fact I was almost a post-toasty last week. I’m sorry.

img_0153Last week it was 68 and beautiful. For the first time I was able to leave the confines of the shack that had been buried in snow to cruise the logging trails on a warm afternoon run. It was glorious! I had not felt this good in months and to see the snow gone and the lake completely free of ice made me want to…to…do everything! I wanted swim, no, run a marathon or ride bikes or play guitar by a campfire. Shit, there isn’t enough time. And there wasn’t. Today I got up and looked out my window to see this. Shit I did.

img_0507In defiance, I went running anyway. In shorts and a t-shirt none the less. I know it looks pretty but it’s almost May and I need this crap to go. Please mother nature. Take pity on this boy from the south east. He knows not what he’s done.

So, that is pretty much March and April. I trust Easter went well for everyone? I had a pretty good one. The highlight was watching my friend’s dog, Ruger, and his habitual face press against the sliding glass door. I love dogs.

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