Tag: Norma Lee

Insanity Has A Face: 2

I don’t know if many of you have read my first post about the much beloved Norma Lee so here is a refresher. Many moons ago I was a working stiff that spent at least three hours a day in Atlanta traffic. To pass the time and keep my sanity there was a morning radio show called The Regular Guys on 96 Rock. Every so often they would hit a home run with musical guests but none quite as unique as Norma Lee. From the very first note she sang, she had my heart. It may sound as if I am making fun but really I do have a lot of respect for her ability to be who she is. I present to you again, Norma Lee.

Norma starts off playing us a tune written and produced by Barney. Who Barney is we are left to wonder but regardless, it’s catchy and yes, I did hum along. There isn’t a congruent theme but I was able to take a couple of key points. One, Norma doesn’t have freckles. She claims sandpaper works better than cow manure at removing them but if you want my advice I would opt to stay out of the sun. Two, don’t spit on the worms, because you might get germs. But then there is a contradiction. Right after her song she claims it attracts more fish. I’m confused. So, do you spit on the worms or not?

I really like the multiple themes in the Norma Lee Show. This one starts by providing us a quick guide to healthy dental hygiene. I can’t lie, when she began talking about baking soda I thought she said bacon soda. Is it wrong that I made that assumption? Well, after the lesson on how to brush and floss she sings us the song, “Honey, You Married Me,” thanks to the help of the producer. Is it me, or did that song make you a little sad? I hope that wasn’t about Mr. Lee.

Wait a minute. Didn’t we just get advice on how to maintain healthy teeth and gums from Norma Lee? And now we find out Norma doesn’t even have teeth? I feel like I was just sold shoes from an amputee. Whatever. I ain’t mad at ya’ Norma. The University of Kentucky would be lucky to have you. I dig your offensive skills but you might want to take a look at your face paint. The “K” is backwards.

I think this one may be my favorite. It’s not because of the pantyhose over Norma’s head or the attempt of humor, but we get a quick shot behind the scenes of the Norma Lee Show. At the end Norma takes off the hose and gives a gesture as if to say “Good enough?”. It makes you wonder who is the creative mastermind, Norma or whoever is behind the camera? I hope it is all Norma because this would be very creepy.

If you look closely you can see Harley the dog blink in morse code, “S-P-C-A”. Am I the only one that had to stand up and scream, “give him the dang nab cookie!”? I doubt it. That was a little embarrassing since I was at work, though.

I can’t express how happy the Norma Lee Show makes me. She is a free spirit in every sense of the expression and I hope that one day she can come back to Atlanta to play live. Reading some of the comments on YouTube it’s apparent there are some rude assholes in the world but never you mind them, Norma. Keep singing and know there are fans everywhere you turn. God Bless ya.

Make sure to send her some love on her website. I leave you with this.

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Insanity Has A Face

If there is any doubt that YouTube has changed the face of entertainment then I challenge that with the thousands of regular people who have become over night celebrities simply by uploading videos to share with the millions of people who probably are not doing what they should be. Like I said in a previous blog, if you feel like watching a dog named Bill eat a carrot, there is a good chance you’ll find it. For that, I am thankful. Actually I am going to say that at Thanksgiving dinner this year. Because then I would have missed an opportunity to review The Norma Lee Show.

Oh where to begin with this? I guess I’ll give you a little history before I introduce you to the lady herself. I lived in Atlanta a few years ago and anyone who lives there will tell you the morning commute on 400, 285 and 85 is much like getting a root canal. Luckily for me they had a great morning radio show on 96 rock called The Regular Guys Show. Somehow they found Norma Lee’s homemade recorded CD and played it on the air and I fell in love. I mean it was pretty fucking terrible as far as the music was concerned but her innocence was very endearing. I thought she had fallen off the face of the Earth until an accidental YouTube run-in this afternoon. Now I can share it with you. Enjoy…

Now you see that we are dealing with a pretty special case here. Inspired by the 80’s craze of music videos, she wrote, performed and produced this gem called “He’s Swapping His Boat For A Tractor”. The lyrics are pretty straight forward. It’s about her significant other who just retard (?) from a factory and he has all this land that a boat can’t help with. So he swapped his boat for a tractor with the help from God and his family. I’m still confused by the basketball, though.

Oh my God that was priceless! First off, the shout out to Dr. Phil made my millennium. I doubt there will be any references made to him that won’t cause me to break out into song, “HEY DR. PHIL..DO YOU WANNA..” You have to love the way she gives a real “fuck you” to Paris from the state of Kentucky. She pulled out all the stops and used such great props like a clock, stair rails for prison bars, Lightning McQueen from Cars, a few bottles and oh yeah, her own ass. So take it in stride Ms. Hilton and quit flapping your jaws.

“Reckon they got a caller I.D.?” I hate to break it to you Norma but they can’t see you through the phone. It makes one wonder if the bag over the head was a joke that went over her head. I also wonder if there is a dick of a person who is filming this and suggested she wear a bag. I hope not because she seems like a real sweet person. I don’t believe she will be asked to take the Mensa test but she looks like someone that will bake you a pie when you are sick. Even if the pie is filled will some thing strange like corn or baked beans. It’s the gesture.

I think this was creatively driven by Norma’s boyfriend. Only a country dude can make a video about guns, legs and toe-maters. I must say that I was a little uneasy hearing Norma moan while the camera focuses on her feet. I think someone has a fetish and now I won’t be able to sleep.

This must be a big thing around Kentucky because Norma is going out of her head. Her low octave tones inspires me to wipe out my schedule next Saturday and cruise the neighborhoods for yard sale signs. When I find one I will demand a song before I buy LA Gear sneakers and Kenner Star Wars toys with missing pieces. I wish I knew what Norma was selling. Hopefully autographed cassette tapes. “…come on down and buy my junk!”

I love this song. From the first time I heard it I immediately had mental pictures of Jesus actually copping a squat on a human heart. That image can make me laugh but at the same time terrify me to the core. It reminds me of what the creepy old guy in Poltergeist 2 was singing. Norma also teases us will cookies, Amish bread and the chance to catch a glims at a swing set just out of view from the camera. But at least we get to meet the baker of the Amish bread or at least his gut that eclipses 90% of the screen.

I think we will end on a high note. The song, “I’m Not An Old Dooshbag” (that’s how it’s spelled on the track) really knocked over some barriers in what I consider hilarious. Never in my 29 years have I seen dolls referenced in a song about a dooshbag complimented with a singing Grandma and a background Sony keyboard demo beat. I would use the word awesome but I think it falls short. So I will say niftyawesomebadasscool.

Norma Lee, you have touched my heart. There is no way I will cruise the YouTube world with out stopping by the Norma Lee Show to see what is new. I can’t believe your album has not gone platinum yet but give it time. The world will soon know your talent and I hope that day is soon. At least before you retard. (?) And Norma….you are no dooshbag.

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