Halloween Finds at Big Lots!

0

Screen Shot 2017-10-14 at 11.15.12 AM

The Halloween Hell Show continues a today I want to share some items I found at Big Lots that will make the season a little more spooky. If you are a YouTube watcher and have seen these reviews you know they get pretty silly but these items are definitely worth getting your hands on. Except the candle which smells amazing and mysteriously doesn’t smell at all after it is lit. But what can I say, Big Lots is known for a bargain and just like anything in life, you get what you pay for. ALWAYS!

Tonight I take a random five items I bought for the Halloween season and give a quick report on them. I only chose five because if I was to review the twenty other items this video would be longer than the Godfather because brevity is not something I am familiar with. Each of these five really spoke to me and if you they speak to you too, hurry up down to your local Big Lots and grab them up before the non-believers of Halloween scoop them up the last weekend before Halloween. I look at those people like a pious Catholic looks at the parking situation on Easter and Christmas during mass. They aren’t real Halloween fans, the fakers!

So kick back and watch me ramble on about Halloween items made on the other side of the world by people who have no idea why we would celebrate the macabre amazingness that is Halloween.

Much love!

 

 

 

I Bought Death. He Was A Bargain.

6

Last night I went on a Halloween hunt for anything that the stores are willing to put out for this, the first week of September, 2013AD. It is hard to have much luck here in Winston-Salem because it seems anything new first appears in larger cities. I have been eying the loot my buddies like Molly and Cliff (Holidaze) with envy. But yesterday I hit gold. Fifty dollar gold but still gold, none the less. I bought Death.

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 8.47.50 AM

 

I was shopping at CVS earlier in the day for something. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what it was because when I strolled down a meek Halloween display I saw this huge box, boasting it’s a $90 value for only $49.99. A six-foot Grim Reaper that was a bargain too?!?! How can one not? But I was still in a suit and leaving out of a CVS during the work day carrying a $50 grim reaper was not in the cards. So I left to change and come back. I’m weird about such things.

 

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 8.52.28 AM

 

I bought the big bastard and proudly marched it out of the CVS while passing snickering customers and clerks. I don’t care. Such joy is oblivious to “normals”. I had a six-foot pillar of death and I found him at a drug store. Everything is right about that and no one can take that from us.

When I got him home I couldn’t take the time to take the dogs out because I was too excited to construct this guy. They would have to hold it a little while. But when I opened the box and saw this mess of bones, pipes and wires, I got their leashes out. This would be a process.

 

 

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 8.59.32 AM

 

What’s the movie where a ball of mess comes crashing through a window and it slowly morphs to a terrific monster? Is it Bram Stoker’s Dracula? I don’t think it is but it’s close. Regardless, this is what this ball of mess on the office bed looked like. (Damn that’s a dumb filler)

EDIT: It was the original Salem’s Lot!

By the time I had this all straightened out I was more confused than when I had begun. You might ask, “Will/Bill, where are the directions?” And I would answer, “Rump roast”.

I don’t read directions.

 

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 8.57.09 AM

 

But I will say, this was a bit confusing to get to the skull and see a giant spring sticking out the back. I almost was about to drill a whole in the wall and have a bouncing skull for my “wall of dread” that makes so many guests uncomfortable, but we are so close, why deviate from the goal now?

 

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 9.02.25 AM

 

The body was just a bunch of tubes with a large electronic shoulder/torso that is constantly twisted in a death shroud. I hate fabric and trying to untangle it. That’s why I don’t sail. But with patience and perseverance, it started to take shape.

 

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 9.05.03 AM

 

I figured out that the spring goes directly into the shoulder-hole, giving the head a constant bounce or “bobble-head” look like the box advertised. It didn’t seem like it would work but now that the head is one, this creature of death is most agreeable. He even likes my shirt no matter how I posed the question. Always a yes-man, I guess.

Screen Shot 2013-09-05 at 9.30.35 AM

 

Finally! Oh wow, that is great. I now know how the father in The Christmas Story felt when looking at his major award for mind power. I just want to sit and Instagram him holding various items and signs like the shaming photos of dogs. “I ate a pillow and pooped in the hallway.” That could not do anything except gain friendship around the world.

So that is how I put him together but what else does Grim do? He moves and talks! I found this out while trying to find the “on” switch and simultaneously connecting the skull wires. It was a surprise which caused me to somehow miracle myself into the den. He’s really loud.

I’m just going to have to show you a video. Words can fail when describing such things.

He says quite a bit more when you set him to “sound activated” but when you press his hand, it’s only the one line. That’s okay with me. I love him no matter what he says.

Wow, when viewing this little video I found my missing Powerade!