Rudolph Red-Nosed Gummies

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It’s not often that I spend $3 on a box of gummy candies but this time of the year, I make a lot of exceptions to the rules. You are supposed to and if you don’t, Krumpus will eat your face. This particular box caught my eye in the candy section of Fresh Market a couple of weeks ago and if you saw the display, you know that’s a feat! Okay, I’ll show the display.

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See? That’s a heck of a box to rise above this holiday mess! But it did and as if I was taken over by a tortured soul who needed purgatory relief and it could only be found in a box of holiday gummy candy, I grabbed it up quick. I didn’t even check the price or look to see if it was made with baby seal eyes. I just picked up the box, threw it at the cashier and yelled, “SHNUWABABBABA!”. We both knew what I meant.

So, one Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer gummy nose box richer and $3.08 poorer, I headed to the house to eat, think and write. Some people write about health care and the looming Iranian nuclear crisis, I write about Christmas candy in the shape of iconic noses. Eh, it keeps me simple.

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Here we have the two flavors…of noses. One is watermelon and the other is red. I say red because for whatever reason, I believed it to be cherry and could not pull that flavor from the obvious not-watermelon nose. It was strawberry. You would think the process of elimination would determine strawberry but I really wanted it to be cherry. I am a fan of strawberry scent but just not a strawberry flavor. I blame Hubba Bubba circa 1984.

What can I say about an expensive candy that is a Rankin/Bass inspired body part? Awesome is what I can say! I love these tasty blops and to be honest, it’s the wrapping and I do think these should be a mandatory stocking stuffer. If for nothing more, you can do this to your wiener dog.

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Kinda like the dog in A Nightmare Before Christmas, no?

 

 

Candy Corn Coffee

CANDY. CORN. COFFEE.

It’s fun to say, no? I was a little skeptical when I saw the Fall flavored coffee in Target last week but I took the plunge and decided that is the fuel to drive me out of bed each morning.

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The good people at Archer Farms gave us a few different flavors for the Autumn season like Pumpkin, Butter Rum and, of course, Candy Corn. Pumpkin and Butter Rum are nice but for this review I gotta stick to the odd and macabre so Candy Corn gets the nod for a review.

I love the smell of coffee, especially right out of the package before the brewing process. I have been known to get hypoxia in a Fresh Market from taking hundreds of deep smelling inhales around the coffee barrels. It’s a problem and I am seeking help. And this bag is no help. It smells like heaven and I have a hard time putting it down. It’s sweet and buttery, much like a real bag of candy corn. That’s where the true test lies.

Candy corn is a deceiving beast. It will lure you with its amazing aroma and when you put it in your mouth, it breaks a part and the brain immediately believes you are trying to eat an inedible object. Candy corn is truly the chap stick of candy.

Lucky for me, you and the people at Archer Farms, coffee translates different when smell-to-taste comparisons are involved. It tastes better! I was so happy to take the first sip and not taste a waxy plastic but instead buttery, warm and a touch of sweetness for the palate. I love this coffee. I love that this coffee loves me. We are getting married this November so watch out for “save the date” invites.

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My coffee maker, “THE BREW MASTER”, and I are not as close. It’s impossible to make coffee in the morning without involving half a roll of paper towels. I would buy a new one but the only time I make that commitment is 5:30 in the morning and that motivation is long gone by lunchtime. One of these days it’s going to involve electricity, me and a funny smell my neighbors will complain about. Until then, Brawny and I will have a close monetary bond.

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I give this coffee an A+++++ because of the wonderful aroma, pleasant taste and Halloween theme. It is absolutely the perfect way to start the day when you look this bad at 0′ Dark Thirty in the morning and it’s cold and rainy outside.

The pumpkin is just so-so. I made the mistake of buying really expensive pumpkin coffee before Archer Farms so I had already spoiled my taste buds.

Go get some Candy Corn Coffee! You will not regret it. I think it’s around $8 a bag.

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