Why I Blog

Why is it that I always experience true hilarity with no one around to share it with? Sometimes I feel like I am in the movie, They Live, and only I notice what is going around me. But instead of sunglasses that revile submission signs and skeletoned-alien faced creatures, I just over analyse each and every human exchange and wait for the punchline.

I was grocery shopping the other day and after two cups of tea and a bottle of water I made a detour to the latrine before proceeding to the produce. But before I could get there I passed by a gentleman who was followed by another leaving the said restroom. Here was the exchange between the two:

Man 2-“Sir! Sir?….You forgot your book in the stall.”

Man1- “Oh…thank you.’

Man2-“He dies at the end. Have a good day!”


Okay, there is so much funny here I don’t know where to begin. I mean one, the guy brings his reading material to the grocery store (that’s planning ahead), two he forgets it, three some good samaritan picked it up off the ground (unless the reader has sever prostate issues, I don’t think he was finishing a chapter while peeing. Ew.), four the good samaritan turns out to be a spoiler-dick of a person and of course five, the speechless expression on man1’s face.

See? I never get to share these experiences with anyone. And that, my friends, is why I blog because I will see something like this below, turn to my fellow passenger and it will be gone. Damn it.

Nirvana Coffee

Everybody has their spot. You know, the place where they go to be alone with their thoughts. Mine is at Nirvana Coffee. I have gotten a few emails asking me what inspires a lot of this streaming abstract and randomness that I post here on VeggieMacabre. Well, I’ll be honest with you, it’s the fact I tuck myself in a corner and stare off into space. So in essence, it all is derived from my head as I look at this. I hope that doesn’t scare those who asked but it is the truth. By the way, you can ask on the comment section. I won’t be mad at ya!

The people here are so wonderful. I get here after my morning swim at 5:00 and the sweet lady always gives me coffee on the house. I’ve become the morning regular and I hope that is not a sad thing. Sometimes the baker will swing by my table and drop off a cookie for me to try out. He likes to run them by me first before he puts them out for sale. I have to admit I’m not the critic he probably needs because unless there is coconut in them I will always pump his ego with a compliment followed by an exclamation mark. Seriously, free coffee and cookies? Is there anything better?

So this is what I look at to begin my day. Do you notice the facade of productivity I have created? To passer byers I look like I am on the cusp of greatness as I diligently type away but really I am snooping around your blogs, leaving my two cents on your comment section and writing about bees and Airwolf. If only they knew.

I do have busy days and more days than not I have to do the grown up stuff. I do cherish the times like this morning when I can watch the sun rise as I drink coffee, laugh reading about your lives, and have moments of inspiration from deep thoughts. But my deep thoughts aren’t crazy ones. I know I am not because crazy people don’t know they are. Now if only the corduroy bear would stop talking to me.

Oh, one more thing. It’s Laurie Kendrick’s birthday! Make sure you swing by and tell her Happy B-Day! She is just aces in my book.

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