My great pal, Brian from Review The World, shot me a message informing me that Taco Bell has a limited item featuring three burritos with varying level of heat. Now I haven’t been to a Taco Bell since I don’t know when but I have heard when it comes to spicy food, they actually keep the heat real. Also, I use the term “food” loosely. It’s probably healthier to eat a handful of Legos.
Called the Dare Devil, these are chipotle, habanero and the dreaded ghost pepper burritos and I knew I had to follow-up the ghost pepper fries with this. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) these have not made it to North Carolina. So, I had to rely on the lame-o limited time Sriracha taco to review on this rainy Saturday afternoon. I waited almost twenty minutes in the drive thru so I need to get something out of that adventure.
Imagine a regular taco with Sriracha sauce on it. There you go! Good night folks!
It’s actually a little more interesting than just that. I was on the fence with a taco and an asian spicy sauce because I’ve never gotten why sriracha is such a popular thing. Other than the witty Oatmeal cartoons, it’s always been a ‘meh’ condiment to me. But, surprisingly, it compliments a shitty taco pretty well. Maybe that was the secret to bring Sriracha around for me.
I’ll still keep an eye out for the mysterious ghost pepper Dare Devil Grillers or whatever they are called. They will definitely be reviewed and added to the FLTO section because I need to have gastro-disastro and remember it forever. There are more than a few benefits to having a blog about stupid things.
I need to at least get 300 words and now I almost have. Done!
It’s been a minute since I have added a post to the “For A Limited Time Only” page but when you throw words like “ghost pepper” around, you have my attention. A new addition of pain has been added to the Wendy’s menu and it’s definitely not permanent so I felt it should be immortalized on the site. The Ghost Pepper Fries showed up earlier in the week with much fanfare from those who like to involuntarily burp when saying the word ‘cholesterol’. That’s up my alley.
There have been lots of fast food items of the heat persuasion but few who tout being made from one of the hottest peppers on earth. I know this first hand after I stupidly ate a dried one a few years ago. The only way I can describe the experience would be to imagine a pain so searing, if someone told you that the only way for relief was to eat a urinal cake, you would eat two. So, naturally, when the Ghost Pepper fries came out, I had to try them. Because I am a very sick, sick man.
Weighing in at 480 calories, 900 milligrams of sodium and 27 grams of fat, it’s safe to say these are not good for you. Made with their cut fries, melted shredded cheddar, a weird ghost pepper neon orange sauce and diced jalapeños complete with seeds, this is a little bowl of indigestion costing you a mere $1.99. They even include a fork just incase you had ghost peppers sauce on your fingers and used the bathroom. The struggle is real when you are a seasoned spicy food consumer.
Immediately when I opened this container up I knew this was not a true ghost pepper product. There is a certain smell that the ghost pepper has and it will choke you hard. You don’t have to eat the ghost pepper to have a bad day with it. These Ghost Pepper fries just didn’t have that punch. I did notice, however, the bright nuclear orange color of the cheese. It’s like drive-in movie theater nacho cheese orange. (Crayola, get on that please) The diced jalapeños seemed to be the only true source of heat. And I was right. Sometimes I hate to be right.
To be honest, it was not very hot for me. Sure, there were a few bites a jalapeño seed got the better of me but on a scale of one to ten, one being “puree peaches” and ten being “going to the hospital”, I think these fries fall into the three rating. There were a few spicy bites but it’s just not that hot. To me. I need to clarify that because a couple of months ago I damn near killed a coworker when the waiter accidentally switched our Panang Curry order. A five-star spice rating is where I begin so keep that in mind when taking my advice.
Against my better judgement I finished the whole order for a fair review. Spicy foods can also be rated based on the building level so taking one bite doesn’t give a fair shake to any food with heat. You gotta eat it all. So, for the next couple hours no jumping rope or wresting in a bounce house. Safety first.
To pair with the Ghost Pepper Fries, Wendy’s also has a Jalapeño Chicken Sandwich for a limited time only. I am sorry to report but this old guy can’t do both. I rarely eat fast food and if I was to jump two feet into a full meal at Wendy’s with nacho cheese sauce I think something extreme would happen. And not like a radical extreme. The different extreme.
So, there you are. The fries are not terrible but a little misleading. When you say jalapeño people say “huh? Wha?” but when you say Ghost Pepper… well, you’ll get my attention. This was not ghost pepper. In fact, this was not even close to habanero. But that’s okay because killing an innocent seventy year old lady who wanted cheese fries but was clueless to what a ghost pepper is probably wouldn’t be how Wendy’s wants to go out. I get it. Not everyone has a ruined palate like me.
Try them and let me know how you fare. Feel better about your fries and order a salad too. Wendy’s has their shit straight when it comes to salads. Have a great Sunday night!
Holy cats, I am back! Can you believe it? I can’t. Anyway, a few months back I had the crew over for a fun weekend full of horror movies, beers and food challenges. It is a rare thing to have a group of people who all nerd-out over the same things. You know Ben, Brian and Dave (DJ D). They have been on here before.
On this episode of “what were we thinking”, Ben introduced us to Epic Bars; the bars made of grass-fed, organic, paleo friendly, gluten-free beef and turkey. Let’s just say we had a time trying these bars. A trying time.
The beef Epic bar was the first taste test and wait until you hear our opinions. Watch and learn!
Next we try the Turkey Epic bar. While not quite as offensive as the beef, it still brought fear and panic. It’s a wonder how as you chew these bars, they become dryer leading to a dissolving dust. This one also led to the hashtag, “Gone Full Franklin”.
Watch and be entertained by our contorted faces and repeated thoughts of poop.
So there you have it. If you want to be paleo/gluten-free/organic/grass-fed/low glycemic/humane then prepare to eat bars that have already been digested. But take my advice, just eat a steak.
A new addition to the YouTube channel brings you a chocolate bar that will destroy your mouth. Actually, it is not too bad. The good people at Lillie Belle Farms in Oregon have constructed an award winning chocolate bar which is infused with Chili Arbol, Amarillo Chilies and the heaps of the infamous Ghost Pepper Chili. I don’t want to spoil the video but I took a huge bite and didn’t even care that I had a glob of chocolate on my mouth for the duration of the video.
You can see I am shooting in front of a haunted location because, well, it is kinda the theme of this site and a loose attempt to connect the “ghost” in ghost pepper. Give me a break, I am just now discovering the green screen. Next time I might be coming to you live from a shark cage. Who knows?
So go try one of these! Trust me when I say, they are not too bad. A full metal death chile and chocolate bitch slap. You have been warned!
Big thanks to my buddy Ben from Juggernaut Cave for providing me this chocolaty death bar for all of us to enjoy. He’s a fantastic dude.
It is Sunday Funday here over at VeggieMacabre HQ and we are smack in the middle of the HolidayHellShow. Today, I am dipping into the realm that Dinosaur Dracula does so well. I have been on the couch with Christmas movies on the TV, homemade chicken soup cooking in the crockpot, a glass of merlot by my side and the YouTube Time Machine whisking me away to the commercials that filled the time between Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. It is magical. Let’s take a look and dissect these toy ads we grew up with and rip on the kids who were in these.
I was only marginally into He-Man growing up. I loved the idea and Castle Grey Skull was cool but at the end of the day, I just couldn’t get down with characters that look like a well fibrous poop. The accessories, however, were pretty damn amazing. Take Skeletor’s Dragon Water Blaster pack, for an example. You had the ability to soak your friends’ toys and be the little dick of the neighborhood.
Let us look at this advertisement. It is hilarious to look back and see these kids imitate their He-Man characters in the gruffest voice a nine-year old could make. I think it was just in the 1980’s that toy advertisers propped up kids to overact their group playtime. I never remember doing any of this! And look at the little fool who takes it to a new level and freezes himself for the duration of the commercial. He is only over to play because either these are all his toys or his mom is friend’s with one of their mothers. No one likes him.
But the one that stood out the most was the little nut-weed who had the Dragon Blaster Skeletor. Just look at him cackle with delight forcing his playmates to freeze. I know this kid. He’s the neighborhood dick who bullied you into throwing oranges at cars or rings door bells and running. He had an older brother who would beat the hell out of him so shit would roll downhill if you ever came over to his house. He is Reed and he was the one who threw the Cadberry Cream Egg through the kitchen window, not me Dad. “I SAID FREEZE!..OR I’M NOT PLAYING!”
The Sly Snootles and the Max Rebo play set was such a weird toy to get. I guess if you had the entire Jabba Palace play set it wouldn’t be complete without musical entertainment but to just have this set, I don’t know. I guess you could pretend they are a Nirvana galactic cover band touring for your other toys. It’s a stretch but I guess it works.
At least these kids got to kill Sly Snootles.
Is it just me or is Droopy McCool the shittiest of all Star Wars characters? He looks like a waterlogged pig who was put in jorts and pushed down a well.
I’ve covered this one before and every Christmas I tend to bring it up again. It’s getting to be a tradition. I never got the USS FLAGG and I’m still bitter about it. Looking back I understand because it was hard to sell the folks why I needed a toy bigger than the dinning room table. But I didn’t care and I blame this commercial.
GI Joes commercials always superimposed kids into the battle to ride in the vehicles and immerse themselves into the world and fight against COBRA. It worked and watching three kids run up and down the flight deck of the USS FLAGG made me want it worse than my dog wanting his hump blanket.
I have faith the new line of GI Joe will release the FLAGG and this time, it will be mine. I want to eat sushi off the deck of it in my living room and watch Nightmare On Elm Street 3. You have to have goals in life otherwise you’ll never have anything!
Oh hell, I had a lot of these. I don’t know if it was all at once or over the course of many Christmases but even today, if you go down in the parent’s basement, I bet in under ten minutes you will find a ROTJ Speeder Bike part. They blew apart with a little button in the back and in my house, that means they never stayed assembled.
While researching for this nonsensical post, I learned the Kenner Star Wars theme song never changed for any toy over the course of the trilogy. It wasn’t anything Lucas but it was something that has been in my head since three this afternoon. And will probably be there until three o’clock in the afternoon of December 14th 2027.
I love watching these kids race their speeders around the yard showing off the speed breaks and blow-apart action of the Speeder Bikes. This was a little before my time judging by their hairstyles. They seemed to have the Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed cuts.
Alright, for a guy who remembers not being the biggest He-Man fan, I have to add another vintage commercial. Boy did I like this and it solidifies why I am such a big fan of monster movies and the dark side. The He-Man Snake Mountain play set looked evil it completely lived up to expectation. Even including a Hensen inspired bird face that would move its beak as you spoke through the echoing (reverb) microphone. Pure gold.
Today, the true prize is watching these kids play with it and imitate Skeleton in a voice that makes you question if they even watched the cartoon. And the ginger kid rocking the mic made my millennium. Look at his contorted face! I hope he grew up to be the scary warning voice for animatronics horror rides on the boardwalk.
Well, that concludes my little skip through time to revisit some of the great toys we grew up. It’s nice to relive some of the best times of our childhood while watching the advertisements and the silly kids who played with their toys all wrong.
Casserole of Disaster 