Category: Random

Showbiz eBay Buy and a Creepy Phone

Today I present to you a video that highlights two items that are strangely one hundred percent me. It’s neither something I am proud of or embarrassed by but I will say, if it defines me as weird, so be it. I am never the type to swim with the mainstream. I do like to win, however, and that leads me to the first item that I “won” on eBay.

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Back in the early 1980’s, Showbiz Pizza Place was a one of my childhood hangouts. (Whenever I was able to talk the parental units into taking me.) But back then there was more of an incentive for adults to subject themselves to screaming kids and animatronic bears and that was because of beautiful beautiful beer. Yes, back then the parents could kick back a few cold ones and let the rug-rats loose. It was a great time in America and for $50.00, I am now the proud owner of one of the original beer mugs. And I have already put it back in operation.

Also I am now the proud owner of a phone that has been taking calls for more than forty years in a morgue. That’s right, a good friend of mine who is in the telecommunication business helped renovate a hospital and was kind enough to give me a piece of macabre history. Don’t judge me!

One more thing, every Sunday I get about 300 to 500 Google hits looking for Jason Presson. WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

 

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She’s a Small Wonder and a Robo-Zombie

Sometimes I can’t believe the amount of talent my friends possess. I try to stand close to them and see if 0.00001% will rub off on me but according to “real life” talent is something that is natural, not gained proximity . Still though, I am always impressed by their creativity, whether it be through writing, singing, art or gabbing on an entertaining video. If I choose to, I don’t have to leave my little circle of friends to find entertainment because brother, if talent was a business, it’d be a boomin’ with these beautiful people.

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Remember that show “Small Wonders” from the mid to late-eighties? You know, the father is an inventor and builds his son a sister because he had a vasectomy too soon? I think that’s the story? Anyway, I loved this show as a kid and had a bit of a crush on the android V.I.C.I. (Voice Input Child Identicant) who was played by Tiffany Brissett. (I have confessed this before on this blog) It’s was a great little sitcom, very reminiscent of Nick@Nite shows of the 1950’s.

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The other children, however, were a casserole of nonsense. The red-head, Harriet, was one of the most annoying gingers in the history of neighbor co-starts. She made the Ochmonek’s from ALF look like Brad and Angelina who always want you to come over to sit in the hot tub, drink beer and eat steak while we have Angelina speak sentences that start with the letter ‘B’ like, “Buttered bread beats blue beets by being better.” Because her lips are big. Have I lost you yet? Wait!

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The brother, Jamie, is equally as annoying with a face of a little politician. My boy, Bo, and I agree that he should have grown up to be a Newt Gingrich but the course of nature had other plans.

most unfortunate
most unfortunate

All of this is irrelevant! The point of this post is to show off a great gift from my pals over at the wonderful Lost Story Studios in Chapel Hill, NC. And you need to check them out. They’re going to be big.

It’s a half eaten zombie V.I.C.I. holing the severed-jawless head oh Harriet!!! And it’s mine! There is so much great about this, I don’t even know where to start.

Thank you Bo and Brockton! You guys are amazing. I owe you mucho beer and gin. See ya at the Mad Monster Party in a few weeks!

Check out Lost Story Studios by clicking on the link here.

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Something Something!

I can’t say what right now, but I am working on a joint project with a couple buddies of mine. I am sure you know of them if you have read anything for any amount of time here. It will be mostly videos and reviews and I promise you, their videos will be far more entertaining than mine. But don’t worry! They will all be posted here as well as on their site. It’s a great way to break up monotony because this time of the year has shit for holidays.

Until then, I am practicing my gif skills but you need to click on it. (told you I am practicing)

Simpsonhalloweengif

 

I am not sure when this will start because that really isn’t up to me but I have already commenced on my end and we should have something in stone before long. Work has been a real dick so this distraction is very welcomed. Keep your hopes high.

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World Market and Voodoo. Who Do? You Do!

Whenever I am low on necessary things to do or I am aimlessly driving past, I have to go to World Market. I don’t know if you have one where you are but most major malls will have a World Market close by at a neighboring shopping center. (look for Babies R Us or some type of like store) It’s a store that has absolutely nothing essential to survival but you will swear the opposite when you step in. Covering the globe in merchandise, you can drink Japanese soda while sitting on a Nepalese sofa. I…I spend an inordinate amount of money every time I go there so I have cut back to once every other month unless I have to have Q-cumber soda. There is an actual internal meter inside me and if my “Q-soda meter” gets too low I answer all questions with fart noises. My blessing-my curse.

This is a quick snapshot from the back corner of the store. I chose this angle because every time I tried to take one, some damn kid would run around the corner and I have a fear of someone mistaking me for being a child-perv. Now-a-day, that’s a legit concern. So, I opted for this shot because beer and wine is boring to a prick eleven year old.

This kind of proves my point of how random this inventory is at World Market. I can think of no other store that carries a musical tie. Or would want to. I am also confused by boasting “The Original” at the top of the box. This was a common thing? There was a market with competitors and impostors of the musical tie? I need to know more and it’s going to be a restless night if I don’t.

To further prove my point of the randomness in this international super store, just look at my damn basket! If there was a coming apocalypse and I showed up to the bomb shelter with this mess, I would be the first to be eaten. But no one can say no to a mega Tootsie Roll. Even if they are on fire.

If you have the means and there is a World Market within a decent drive, I highly recommend you stop by. It’s hard to leave empty-handed with an entire aisle dedicated to wacky beers and rubber chickens. I make none of this up.

Watch the beer review from one of my finds that was a cool $13.oo but who cares? It’s maple and bacon flavored from a very famous Portland donut shop. I haven’t been able to drink beer in some time because I am training for another stupid race but this one calls for a special exception. It’s pink. Also, you get to see the beginning of my rad office and VeggiemacabeTV studio.   woot

I can not believe I have been doing these vlogs for four years and they keep getting worse.

Keep a heads up for the next post and video of other people besides me!!! That’ll be good.

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You Need To Stop Finding Me Like This

Over the many years I have writing here at Veggiemacabre, it always amazes me in this wide wide world of the web how people come to find me. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it’s a random Google search looking to see what Aaron Dozier is up to. Most of the time it’s a photo search that just happens to link to my small restate in cyber space. But every so often there is the bizarre person who finds me in their perverse and twisted internet search. I am creeped out but in some small way, I appreciate them. Just randomly poking around the site stats, here are a couple from yesterday.

A long time ago I did a little workout to an old VHS workout tape of the former Good Morning America host, Joan Lunden. As a young blogger this was an opportunity that I couldn’t miss and at that time I had the time. Fast forward years later, I am still a source for people’s random searches looking for Joan Lunden. I will say this is the first time I have been a hopeful site that exposes Joan Lunden’s funbags.

I did a Google search for “Joan Lunden boobs” and wouldn’t you know it?

I was on the first page! Why am I proud of that? Granted, there were a few that had the word “breast” in some sort of Joan Lunden recipe site but if you want to talk about Joan Lunden’s hose-hounds, I’m your guy! Actually, I don’t think I ever mentioned her boobs in that post. But don’t tell the weirdos that. I need the site hits. I’m a sneeze away from a half-million.

I also like the “Oldest Female Celebrity That You’d Knock The Bottom Out Of”. *cough cough cough*

Okay, let’s see what other strange people are out there from this past week.

What the crap? Is this real or a dream? Are people meaning to make eye contact with their pets while they are shitting on the lawn? I can’t tell if I am more disturbed by the intentional search for “eyes of a dog trying to poop” or the fact that it led to me.

 

So, just like before I had to search for this just to see how far into the “search” I am and why. Dog poop? Fine. Dog’s eyes? Fine. Dog’s eyes while pooping? Nope.

Well, I couldn’t find an exact avenue leading me home from this search. Mainly worried owners who watch their dog shit. I had a dog years ago and I have no memory of watching him trot around the back yard looking for the perfect place to shit. I did, however, have an awkward moment when my cat was pooping and wouldn’t stop meowing. I just turned the TV up louder.

I am so sorry for this post. Perhaps I am tired from building this dang office or just the work week. Regardless, there are about five good ones on the way. But until then, deal with old boobs and dog poop. You’re welcome.

 

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