Category: personal

Beers with Movie Sauce: Jaws 2

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I promise I’m not going to say “just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water”.

Well, shit.

Okay, so it really was not safe to go back in the water back in 1978 because Universal Studios cashed in on the cash cow that was Jaws; the original summer blockbuster. As sequels usually go, they can’t hold a candle to the original but with Jaws 2, I would say they made a damn good attempt. Sure, it a silly premiss that a monster shark came to seek vengeance on a small beach community  only a few years after the first monster shark had its head blown off but hey, life is weird like that. Just ask New Jersey.

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So yeah, I am yapping about Jaws 2 but more importantly I want to climb the rafters with a bullhorn and call to prayer that the fine people of Narragansett beer have released a retro-throwback LIMITED EDITION lager that was featured in the first Jaws film. The can is in its original colors from 1975 and was actually crushed by Robert Shaw who played Captain Quint. I have drunk many cans of bud lights in the Army and college just for the purpose of reenacting that famous scene between him and Richard Dreyfus.

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Also, I wanted to take this quick minute to brag about the time I met Jeffery Kramer who played Deputy Hendrix, Martin Brody’s second in command. Such a nice guy and had a blast asking him all the lame-o questions a geek like me could ask. He signed a shirt (claiming that to be his first) but he also signed a couple of autographs to include a very special one. The autopsy scene in Halloween 2 but accidentally signed is “Deputy Hendrix”, his Jaws character.

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Doh! I doubt it increases the value in real life but for the dumb collection in my office, it’s priceless.

So, please watch and sorry in advance about the crazy noises I make after eating this insanely hot, shark themed, hot sauce. It is a doozy. Honest, it will light your face.

 

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Review the World and I Chat about Root Beer and C.H.U.D. 2

It all began in a far away land called Moscow, Idaho. I was a stressed-out student in a medical program the University of Idaho had just flung together called Neuro Applied Science and it took every inch of my soul. Not to mention working full-time at a sales job with a boss that was more of a kid than a leader. The year was 2009 and it was a cold and snowy night. I sat at my kitchen table taking a break from the madness I called “Tuesday” and escaped to the wonderland of a site that was X-Entertainment. A site that was full of humor, nostalgia and news on what Slurpee Kmart had available. Completely me.

There was a small community of people who would comment on various posts and articles and link their own sites to share. That is where I found Brian from Review the World dot com. Immediately I was blown away. Brian’s positivity, sense of adventure and zany trips to explore just about anywhere had me entertained for years. It is impossible to be in a bad mood after a trip with that guy.

Over the years we became pretty good pals taking part in joint reviews and even some projects with Matt from Dinosaur Dracula (X-Entertainment). Then, last month, Brian came down to North Carolina to visit and it was beyond a treat to have him over. Such a genuine dude of character and soul. It is great to know there are truly good people out in the world and it makes the trips on YouTube with Brian even better now that I know him.

So here is a part one of “Beers with Movie Sauce” featuring Brian from RtW. We chat about CHUD 2 and my favorite root beer, Abita. I had a few beers since we just returned from a party/BBQ so ignore my rambling and the way I say “like” every other statement.

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A Quick Little Update In HD!

Hey. I am sitting in a meeting listening to people who suck at product support try and talk me into selling their dog shit. Little do they know I am talking to you. They probably think I am taking excessive notes but, no, I am writing a vlog intro to tell you about my last couple weeks and this kick ass new toy I bought just to make my production value increase. Even if by a nose.

Later tonight you will watch, for the first time ever, a joint “Beers with Movie Sauce” show with Brian from Review the World. I can’t tell you how awesome this is for me as a long time fan of his work. So much fun and so great to know awesome people.

And that’s what it’s all about, Charlie Brown!

BUY ALL J.W. OCKER’S books here!!!!

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FLTO: McD’s Brought Back Hot Mustard Or Not?

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It’s back! Or maybe it’s left over and on its way out? Maybe I went to asleep and fell into a coma and this is a dream about mustard? Maybe this is an alternative reality and mustard is the currency and dogs are our masters? What ever the situation may be, today we are pointing out that RIGHT NOW you can dip your nuggets in the 1983 original, McDonald’s Hot Mustard. This sauce has a lot of lovers and a few years ago when the corporate restaurant giant announced they were pulling the Hot Mustard from the lineup, people flipped.

In fact, there were hundreds of petitions to bring this sauce back. Maybe it was nostalgia because this was one of the four original sauces when McNuggets were introduced? Perhaps McD’s stepped on the balls of the small percentile of consumers who go ape-shit when debates over which Evil Dead is better and have enough time to get upset over mustard? Regardless, McDonald’s had concluded the numbers were not holding in comparison to the others sauces so, in true Burger College fashion, they opted to pull it. Or did they?

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Today, the mustard is alive and well or at least at this particular NC restaurant. Google searches are loaded with pleas to bring back Hot Mustard as well as warnings of its impending doom ranging from 2012 all the way to February of this year. However, there is very little fanfare for its revival. That leads one to ask, is it really back or are these Hot Mustards the last remnants of the glory years and when they are gone they are gone forever? Or, did McDonald’s decide to let a few states keep their Hot Mustard to appease the many furious fans of condiments? I’m not a betting man (yes I am) but I suspect the latter is the case.

On another note, WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO THE HAPPY MEAL BOX? That looks like the last vision you see in bed before an ax falls between your eyes. What were they thinking? It looks like the Olympic mascot should the Summer Olympics come to Iraq! Those murderous eyes scream something evil in backwards latin. I don’t like it and I would prefer it if they brought back the Fry Guys. No one in their right mind can argue with Fry Guys.

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I did have the great idea to put the box in the guest bathroom toilet. Now we wait.

Sorry this was a shoddy FLTO blog. I felt I needed to share the news that maybe you too can find Hot Mustard. And if you do, ask for 100. You never know when it will be gone for good.

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FLTO: Dill Pickle Wheat Thins

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“There are two types of people in the world; those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t. My wife loves him.” -Bob Wiley

I believe that applies to crackers, as well. I, myself, am a Triscuit man. I have stated that since the fledgling days of VeggieMacabre and some two thousand boxes later, I still sing Gordon Lightfoot sad melodies when I reach the bottom of one. But every-so-often I cheat and pick up a box of Nabisco’s retarded sister, Wheat Thins. And that only happens when Wheat Thins come out with a wacky flavor.

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For a limited time only, Wheat Thins now comes in a briny dill pickle flavor that dogs love! And, truth be told, I don’t hate them either. It’s all about the real pickle taste and the Nabisco scientists really got this one nailed.

It’s pretty crazy how absolutely dill picklish these crackers are. I must warn you, however, after fourteen crackers you need to drink seven hundred gallons of water. Really not sure if it’s the brine taste or the massive amount of sodium but holy crap, you ain’t winning a whistling contest after eating these.

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AND WHAT THE HECK IS “NATURAL FLAVOR WITH OTHER NATURAL FLAVOR”??? It sounds both redundant and silly. It’s like me saying I’m a man with other man.

No…it’s not like that at all. That sounded completely wrong. Let me try that again. It’s like saying the black car is black with more black. I think we get it if you just state that the car is black. Just like if it has natural flavors, who cares if it has other natural flavors? Maybe I am just being picky.

So, if you are at the store and like pickles AND dig Wheat Thins, you might want to throw these in the basket with your lotion. They are only here for a limited time and that’s why I just spent twenty minutes writing about them.

 

 

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