13 Days Of Christmas

Screen Shot 2015-12-12 at 2.50.29 PM

It’s 13 days till Christmas! It’s practically here!

That’s right, you freaks, we are creeping our way down to the day of Christmas when we get loaded on eggnog, open gifts and watch The Christmas Story 12 times in a row and smash the hand of anyone who dares change the channel. (Sorry about last year, Grandma) With the busy life and time of your’s truly and the crash landing of the Halloween Hell Show, I figured committing 13 days is way more doable than an entire month. But don’t fret, we have lots in store and 13 videos too! I can say that with certainty since most are already shot.

OH! I am also doing a few horror gift giveaways to brighten your Christmas season. Each will be different and announced on Twitter so if you don’t follow me, you might want to. Details will follow on the first prize announced tomorrow.

So, get ready for the unholy number of days as we countdown to Christmas day and have the time of our life doing it. Bring it in. I have hugs for you.

Until the official start (late tonight) spread your love of the holiday and checkout Matt’s annual holiday fantasmo over at DinosaurDracula. It’s tradition, mang.

 

 

Life and Careers

There is something to be said for reflective pause and the time out in our busy lives to say, “things could be a whole lot worse”. This is the time of the year that brings out the best in us and we wish peace on earth, good will towards men. It seems pretty incredible given the current state of the world, no?

Personally the Holidays have gone from something I cherish and look forward to, to something I wish would hurry up and be done with. A life choosing career goals over starting a family has its drawbacks when you have to be around family members who tell you things like, “You’re not getting any younger” or “Is there something maybe you want to announce at this year’s family Christmas dinner?”.

I am glad the extended family are fans of the hit show Modern Family and have taken that weird but positive step to be more comfortable with the homosexual community but I have to burst their speculation bubble and state I am not gay and very much attracted to the opposite sex. In some ways I think that being gay would be easier for them to understand.

Screen Shot 2015-11-27 at 1.47.40 PM

These past few years I have given my entire life to a career. I am not just saying that, I mean my waking hours have been devoted to all things work. It has cost me relationships, friends, I have fallen out of shape and drinking stress away seemed like my only escape to deal with the competitive nature of my work. But I also loved it! I loved it because I was good at it and I felt like the company really took care of its people by valuing who the are, believing in what they said and celebrating their successes.

But as the business grows, that personal touch no longer means so much. The celebrations turn into “that’s fine but what about this?” and that after work cocktail now takes three to ease the burden of what comes tomorrow. It’s just the normal part of being in executive sales. You’re a thirty day hero; nothing more and nothing less. I am lucky to have this position and the experiences that it has provided me, however. That much is invaluable.

That said, you cannot let work take away your…you. So, I have decided to venture out as my own boss. Life is so short and we have to take it by the balls or other wise there will be nothing to show for it. I watch guys in their late 50’s compete with me in the field and I don’t want to be that when I am their age. They wear a face that expresses a betrayal in life and no amount of money can buy back time.

So what now? I still have a responsibility to complete certain projects at my job right now so I won’t be leaving just yet. I love my clients/customers and have a true dedication to seeing they are well taken care of. But as I do that I am sharpening my business skills and slowly regaining my sense of humor and creativity. It has taken a beaten over the years so I need a bit of time to just remember. Thank God for this blog to practice on!

So that is it. When I slip these surly bonds of Earth my book will sure be a strange one. But a nice one.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am very much thankful for you.

 

 

 

Halloween Pumpkin Salsa and Death Sauce!

Spoiler Alert! We killed DJ D.

Tonight, as we near Halloween, I want to post a few more videos before the grand finale. This post has the normal ruckus-crew testing Pumpkin Salsa and Blair’s “After Death Sauce” which is hot enough to have you speaking in tongues.

Screen Shot 2015-10-28 at 6.34.16 PM

Dave and Brian test the pumpkin salsa with positive results but the real show comes soon after when Dave and I delve into Hell with the Death sauce. I consider myself a little more experienced with garnishes that can actually kill an 80-year-old but Dave hasn’t built that tolerance quite yet.

Will DJ D survive? Wait…I already spoiled it. Fuck! Oh well,

You can get Blair’s After Death Sauce by clicking on the underlined link!

Watch this little video and if you want to see Dave lose his shit right away, jump to about 3/4 of the video. It’s worth the build up, I promise.

Universal Monster Sodas! And One Other.

Screen Shot 2015-10-27 at 10.07.33 PM

I think I am going to skip the confession that I am a horrible Halloween blogger and just go right into the fourth to the last post of the 2015 Halloween Hell Show. It gets tough running a division in business and coming up with entertaining quips and posts even though it is my favorite time of the year. Ah well, sometimes you just have to live the season first and record it later.

Tonight we are venturing back to early in the season when some of my best pals, Brian from Review the World and Dave (DJ D) from retro Ghouls and Shocks paid me a visit to celebrate Halloween and all the great items this spooky season has to offer. And boy did we do that!

The first of a couple posts (which actually has a storyline) shows the three of us reviewing the trademarked Universal Monster Sodas which came in three monster inspired flavors.

However, while we did a taste test on the three said sodas, only two were actually the trademarked and branded by Universal. Sorry Werewolf, you are just a non-branded soda. Those always made for better movies anyway and your Baltic-like taste as a ginger beer gave you more of a Hammer feel.

So grab a drink and pull up a coffin because you are about to watch grown men drink grape soda!

A Visit To Capt. Tony’s Saloon

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 12.10.46 PM

Let’s see, a haunted saloon that has been a mortuary, an execution spot, holy water bottles lodged in the walls to keep the evil spirits out, there are dead bodies underneath, a real human skeleton excavated from the site and hung behind the bar, an actual hanging tree with a grave right next to it AND it’s all located in a tropical paradise? Yup, I’m in!

Welcome to Capt. Tony’s Saloon! This little spot is said to be the most ghostly active place in all of Key West and that is saying a lot considering the history of this key. I mean, there is a cursed doll who is reported to have chased a young girl around her room and distorts its face. Yeah.

We aren’t chatting about ol’ Robert the Doll right now. I have quite a bit to say about him later but for now, lets focus on a saloon that has been the last stop for many poor souls and some are said to still be restless. Of course, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 11.34.21 AM

The site the bar sits was the execution spot for those who didn’t were sentenced to death and that included sixteen men and one woman who stabbed her husband and children and chopped them up. She’s said to still haunt the bar and is known as the “Lady In Blue” because that was the color of her dress she wore on her execution day and also the color she turned when she died. HA!

By the mid 1800’s, the saloon was used as an ice house and since recently deceased people smell bad in the 90 degree tropical heat, it doubled as a morgue. After that it turned into a cigar-rolling/gambling facility, then a telegraph station, then an openly gay burlesque and finally, Anthony Tarracino moved from New Jersey, renamed himself Captain Tony and bought the place that we now know and love as Capt. Tony’s Saloon.

Many famous people have frequented the bar especially Ernest Hemingway, Al Pacino, Robert Redford and of course, Jimmy Buffett whose music sounds like parrots burning to me. But that’s just my opinion.

Watch this video and take a tour with me as this super great guy named Doug shows us around the creepier parts of Tony’s Saloon. Also, if you find yourself there, don’t get the Pirate Punch. It’s pre-made horse piss.

Sorry about the background noise. Life shooting in a bar full of drunks and a crappy musician.

Up ↑