Me, Dad, Calvin and Hobbes

Last Friday I was sitting at the computer working away and I decided to take a break from the dull paces of roster scheduling and fill a few minutes with mindless nonsense the web always offers. For some reason or another I stumbled onto a great site that dissected old Calvin and Hobbes strips and related them to personal meanings. I was so excited that these stories were very much like my own. I could identify with Calvin on so many levels as both an only child and the fact that no matter where I was at present, in my mind I was far, far away.

For those who are unfamiliar with this comic strip, it was created by Bill Watterson about a little boy (Calvin) and his imaginary friend (Hobbes). Calvin is an only child who marches to his own beat and has the innate ability to be in two places at once. One for real and the other in his head. His buddy Hobbes, is his stuffed tiger that is real to Calvin and his only friend. Hobbes has an innocent view point on life and is the catalyst for Calvin’s mischief as well as his sensibilities. Together their adventures are endless.

While going through these strips on the web I realized that this was such a symbol of my childhood growing up. I read the books on long car trips, Christmas vacation at the grandparents house in Philadelphia, school study hall, and even when we moved to Arizona to escape the loneliness of being the new kid. I never read these books from page one to the end but rather skipped around so there might be a chance that there would be a strip that I missed many days later. But I think the most important memory is with my Dad. He and I would read Calvin and Hobbes books for hours, laughing hysterically at every insightful suggestion Hobbs would give and Calvin would learn, albeit the hard way. I cherish these memories. I remember having a worried feeling that the next volume would be the last and Calvin would find friends and he would then see Hobbes the way everyone around him did, a stuffed animal. It’s not that I was entirely concerned for the end of the strip but rather what would Dad and I connect with? It’s not like we would go from comics to reading the Great Gatsby together and discuss the symbolism of dialog between the characters. I just didn’t want to see the end of of our Sundays on the couch.

Fortunately, I grew up faster than Calvin. I found friends, played baseball and girls became tolerable. The time reading the adventures of Calvin as Spaceman Spiff became less frequent and soon not at all. I think deep down Dad was worried that this would happen the way it did. He wasn’t as concerned about Calvin’s maturity as he was about my own. I guess all good things do come to an end and nature must take it’s course.

The next morning I went to Barnes and Nobel and bought the final volume of Calvin and Hobbes to see how it came to an end. I read the entire book from cover to cover unlike how I did in the past. I wanted to see how Bill Watterson would wrap up the decade long comic and he did it in the greatest way possible. My fears of Calvin growing out of his imaginary friend Hobbes didn’t happen but rather left us with a happy, hopeful ending. It is Calvin and Hobbes walking through fresh fallen snow with their sled exclaiming how it’s like a clean slate. We are left with the two sledding off into the distance with Calvin saying “…c’mon old Buddy, let’s go exploring.” Now I’d be lying if I said I had dry eyes after that.

On Sunday I left Ft. Lauderdale and drove to see my Dad at his house an hour north. He was at the kitchen table reading the New York Times drinking his morning coffee just like usual. I sat down with him and opened the Calvin and Hobbes book to show him my latest and favorite stip. He smiled as I slid the book so he could read it. We spent the next hour laughing as we read and without a word we picked up right were we left off 17 years ago. It was a good day.

I’m No Picasso

I can honestly say my Mom has never willfully departed with anything from my childhood. It’s not that she is a pack-rat but I think that the action of throwing something away is more like throwing out memories. But this Fall the folks are having their basement professionally finished and they are forced to purge a lot of my old stuff. I don’t know what I have down in their basement but I asked the parents to keep what they think I would want and send me some books I had. So they did. Here are a few and they came with something I haven’t thought about in many years.

The first on the list is this gem that back in 1982 cost a whopping quarter from a garage sale. I think this book has a lot to do with my love of sharks. I can’t remember much from ’82 but I remember taking this book everywhere. Reading this 17 page book doesn’t take me back as much as what is on the blank inside cover.

Holy shit, I can believe I have forgotten about my obsession with drawing on the inside of books. I see the movie Return Of The Jedi really made an impression because this is obviously the Rancor and if you look hard enough you can see Luke and Vader doing something. I like to believe they are throwing the Rancor dog treats between filming. Hey, it’s my art.

This one is a little bit more on topic. Inspired by the great whites in the book I present to you a diver-stormtrooper immersed in shark infested waters. His cage looks a little cramped but it’s cool because he is obviously a yoga instructor too. As for the sharks they are at least recognizable as what they are; sharks. My personal favorite is the one on the bottom. It looks like the poor guy has a touch of the downs syndrome. Apparently his Mom didn’t lay off the booze and pot while pregnant. (This post just gets weirder and weirder)

I don’t have many memories of Hucklebug but apparently I looked through it because it is full of my doodles. That sounded funny. Anyway, I remember having this book with me when I was strapped in a car seat while driving through the mountains of Yellowstone. I was looking at the pictures when carsickness overtook and i yarfed pink Neco-wafers all over the window. It’s funny what you remember. I think about that when ever I see people eat neco wafers.

Good God there is a lot of crazy in this picture. But I have to hand it to myself, I have never seen a stormtrooper without his shoes on. There is one thing for sure, I sucked at drawing feet and guns. I do like the bird and whatever that thing is to the right, though. I want to say it’s an octopus. What do you think?

If you have read my previous posts you know I think Richard Scarry is the cat’s pajamas. Here is proof that I was a Richard Scarry fanatic and it is full of crayon marks that are way outside the lines. The Best Rainy Day Book Ever is what it says and I loved this book like a fat boy loves burgers. There are many connect the dots and colorless pictures for one to fill in but that wasn’t enough to keep me occupied. I had to take it to the next level and add my own art skills to what I thought Dick missed.

I think I knew I was destined to fly planes because as you can see, I wanted nothing to do with helicopters, blimps or balloons. I likes the planes and I even added a oxygen mask to the bear in the jet just to make it more “Top Gun” like. As you can see I tried the balloon but quickly gave up. They just never seemed very fun. Even to color.

Anything in water needed a shark and it must have been close to Halloween because the mice are rocking a pumpkin. Actually there are a lot of pumpkins littered all over this book. I think they are just easy to draw. I must say that at first glance that fin looks pretty big next to that boat but looking closer you’ll see that it is full of mice. So, those proportions are correct! I wasn’t a total monkey on a math problem.

See? Pumpkins everywhere, even on a hippo’s ass. Honestly, this had no comedic intention. I really thought this was a good spot to put a jack-o-lantern. So maybe I was a monkey on a math problem after all.

Another shark book to defame! I swear I have over 50 books about sharks. I actually tried to major in marine biology in college but found that the effort was too great. So my only knowledge of sharks come from the discovery channel because no matter how many books I have, the pictures were all I paid a attention to. But that’s okay because the pictures inspired my own artwork like this monstrosity below.

I promise this is the last one. I can’t even begin to describe this because it is really all over the map. It is obvious that this was before my other drawings because the sharks suck more than the ones before. I mean, I had to improve over the years, right? Well anyway, I obviously never took the advise of many How To Draw Sharks books the folks gave me. I think they were trying to tell me something.

Well, I will leave you with that. Seeing these books bring back memories that have been long lost. I’m glad I had the chance to see them and I am even more glad I drew in them. It’s like a look into my mind when I thought there really were Smurfs living in the backyard and there was a very good chance that when I grew up I was going to join the Rebellion against the Galactic Empire.

A Tribute To Stephen Gammell

Sure there is a lot of attention to the author of the Scary Stories books, Alvin Schwartz, but I think the illustrator Stephen Gammell deserves his time in the light too. I have spent countless hours staring at his visions of the macabre. I mean they are really disturbing when you look at the way they are drawn!

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There have been countless hours spent just staring at the bizarre world Steve Gammell has created for Schwartz. His expressive and haunting strokes give me the creeps, even 17 years later. I have tried many times to pass these books off for book reporting material but to no avail. It doesn’t matter because I am sure the report would just be filled with pointless statements like “This dead chick looks scary on page 57.”

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Jesus! See what I mean? How scary looking is that? It’s for kids too! I don’t know what goes on in Gammell’s head but he needs to hang out with Rob Zombie. Can you imagine having a beer with this dude? I can. I would ask him what is his motivation for drawing such macabre images. I think Gammell should also work in a tattoo parlor. I’d get another if he designed it.

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What do you think….head in a jar? That is what I think. There is one thing for sure. Gammell’s art really put a dent in my reading level because I have no idea what the stories are about. I do know that my imagination stirs after spending an hour staring at these pictures. I begin to think of them later on at night. I wonder if I have the gift to draw nightmares?

Nope! That’s my head in a jar and the only thing that is confirms is that I suck. I doubt Alvin Schwartz will be calling me for an artistic touch to his scary tales. Oh well.

Oh my God! What the hell is that? I can guarantee you that The Ring was less scary to me because freaky chicks have been burned in my brain since the day I saw this. Thanks Stephen. Taken off guard while flipping pages, this made me choke on forbidden candy during mandatory reading time in homeroom many years ago. I didn’t die but I received a demerit for eating candy in class. Insult to injury.

I don’t mean to “paint the picture” that all Stephen Gammell’s art work is dead chicks and clowns. He illustrates other books like the poem book, The Burger and the Hot Dog. I love this book. I know, I’m 29 and a 29 year old dude shouldn’t like such things but here is a line and you’ll see what I am talking about.

A burger and a hot dog
One day had a nasty spat.
The burger got insulted
‘Cause the hot dog called him flat…

Priceless.

Well, thank you Mr. Gammell. Thanks for sharing your talent and for giving me the creeps, even at school. I can’t believe it has been almost 20 years and believe it or not, I don’t think I have even read a single story from Scary Stories 1, 2, or 35. Sorry Alvin. But mission accomplished Stephen! I will leave you all with this. Good night. Try not to read these in the dark.

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