Back from The Mountain

I know, I know…I have been a shitty poster. Actually I have an excuse and a good one at that. You see, I live on a mountain now. No really, I live on a mountain and the closest neighbor I have is over two miles away. It may take a week to get the Internet hooked up so I have to drive to the valley to use the great wide world of the web. But I don’t mind it. For the past two weeks my life has been anything but normal and I’ll fill you in on some very random shots and even more elusive explanations that will have you piecing together your own conclusions. Let’s begin shall we?

This has now become normal to me. No longer will two fifty year olds wearing purple silk pants and fishnet stockings on a motorcycle be blog worthy material. I have become completely desensitized. I don’t even know if a mime playing the bagpipes on a segway will cause me to pause anymore. Regardless I did take the picture and did so very cautiously. I make it a point in life to never get my ass kicked by a dude in purple pants.

Living in hotel rooms for weeks on end is not only very expensive but it completely sucks. If I had to audit my sleeping time in life I would bet that a year and a half has been spent in a Holiday Inn Express. So, when I came out here I made it a point to find a spot to rent as soon as possible and left it in the hands of Vista Management Co. I sent them a background form and $50 so they could process me in and find a one bedroom place as quickly as possible. Well, this is what they had. A Bavarian crack house.

You can’t quiet tell from this picture but the windows had blankets over them for makeshift drapes, people were looking out the windows checking me out as if I were a poorly undercover agent for the DEA and I swear I heard Cheech and Chong singing “Beeners” from inside one of the rooms. Oh, and built onto this complex was a tattoo and piercing parlor called The Blue Rose.

Well, to grossly understate this, I was a little disappointed in Vista, myself and Idaho. I went back to the management office and the moron lady asked what I thought as she smirked. I said in a very nice tone that if it could suck any harder it would turn inside out. I dropped the keys on her counter and walked out feeling great that I blew $50 and an hour out of my day. I think I may ask Allison’s husband Matt if he could write a nasty letter to them.

But every time it seems that life leads you down a path to no where, a random tether ball hits you in the back of the head, forcing you to look in a new direction. (Jesus Mary and Carpenter that made no sense.) What I mean is that I found some luck and was able to stay with very nice people until I found a place worthy of my snotty taste. And to my surprise they didn’t chop me up and serve me in chili. It was a win win. They even had two cute dogs,

The one on top is Teddy and below is Missy. Both are very sweet but as far as cuteness goes I have to lean towards Missy. And that is only because of her under-bite. Actually now that I think about it, Missy looks kind of like Dee Wallace in the movie The Howling. It was when she turned into a Shitzu at the end. See it?

Well, not before too long I found a place that met my needs and was reasonable in price. The only catch is that it is secluded. And what I mean by secluded is that it is up a mountain and the nearest neighbor is over two miles away. I think by mid November when the snow starts to fall these posts my start sounding like Jack Torrence and be in various shapes and stanzas. But for now it is warm and I love it. Check out the kitchen!

And here is the view from the back window:

Until I get my stuff put together that is all I can show for now. It’s out there but I think this will work. Funny thing is the city-boy in me really comes out because the other night I came home to find 5 wild turkeys walking around and the first thought that popped in my head was “I wonder if they bite”. Luckily a dear friend of mine assured me that they don’t. But I still have my eyes open.

Internet will be up soon and I’ll stop having to come down to the “valley” every time I need to post something. But for now I am hanging out next to a poster of Brandy Norwood in a major University library. She is encouraging literacy as she sports a copy of The Cat In The Hat. That’s the book I would have chosen too.

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