Traitor Pants

Today’s brought to you by the letters S,H,I and T and the number 4. It’s not that it is a bad day but it reinforces the fact that if there is a possibility of shit happening, it will most likely happen to me. I was in Kinkos today running off training manuals because that is what I do for fun when the unthinkable happened. Let me paint you a picture. I have a pair of pants that are my favorite pair in the whole world and if they are ever lost I may swear off articles of clothing from my lower extremedy all together. The only problem with them is that the fly is made of Velcro and after 7 years of ware, let’s just say I am aware of it’s position at all times. But today they betrayed me. I was in a rush to get these training manuals copied and threw on these pants after a shower. (I was commando, so what?) Well, let this be a lesson to all those who disregard the common law that boxers should always be worn under old velcroed pants. I managed to let my guard down and accidentally exposed myself to the staff of Kinkos. I don’t know if I feel embarrassed yet. It will take some time to let the full scope of my ordeal. I will say that I will never forget the large woman saying, “I think someone is trying to say hello.” I want to die.


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